Chapter 68: Chapter 68

Chapter Sixty - Eight

Ava's POV

The lunch was a disaster. After I left the restaurant, I received a few messages from Jasper, asking where I was and why I left like that. I replied back with an excuse, saying that I had too much work and that I needed to complete that. And with that Jasper's messages stopped coming.

I did have work. It was not really an excuse, therefore I decided to distract myself with it. Use it as an excuse to escape reality. When I finished my work, I went straight home. Maria told me that dinner would be served in a few minutes and that I should freshen up in the meantime. I did exactly that. I wanted to avoid Jasper at all costs.

What Charlotte had told me, could easily be considered pure jealousy from her side but the things she told me made perfect sense. She was right.

Even though she squashed my silly hope underneath her boot mercilessly, I was glad that she told me what I was supposed to know. Things that should be told. No matter how madly I wanted something to happen between Jasper and me, the truth was that it just simply could not. It was as easy as that. It hurt so bad to know that there was no hope for me. But it could have been much worse if I believed there was one and gave into my wistful thinking, hoping there was a chance of him and I being together. Of us being in love ...

Except there was not.

There was just simply not.

My heart ached, breaking over and over again, thinking about him but I knew that I had to give up. I have to.

In the future, I will get better. I will move on. It will hurt for a while, I didn't even know for how long, but I WILL get better. Meanwhile, I just had to avoid Jasper as much as I could. I had to start maintaining a safe distance from him, if I wanted to remain sane while recovering from this heartache

However, it was like the universe was against me. Because as soon as I entered the dining room, I saw Jasper sitting in his fixed spot. Waiting for me. For a second, I was surprised to find him there. At night it was a rare occurance to find him for dinner since he mostly worked late at night and  reached home late. So, seeing him here was quite surprising for me.

It had me thinking for a second, did he come home for the reason of meeting me? Did he want to continue the conversation where we left it off in the afternoon?

"Ava, get in." Maria's voice came from behind me.

I looked at her over my shoulder to find Maria waiting for me to move out of the way. All the while holding two bowls in her hands. Without giving much thought, I walked inside the dining room, where I saw Jasper's eyes locked on my face. His eyes were dancing with interest but instead of smiling at him, I chose to ignore him. Keeping my face emotionless and avoiding any expression. I simply just walked over to my chair and sat down.

All the while I felt my throat closing in. Damn, it hurts. To feel for someone knowing that they might never return the feeling. It hurt like hell. It really does.

After sitting down, I watched Maria, as she served us food. Intentionally, I kept ignoring Jasper. Eventually, when the weight of his gaze became unbearable, I chanced a look in his direction.

The moment my eyes met his, I saw confusion. It was written all over his face and he seemed a little puzzled by my behaviour.

It made me feel like crap. A complete jerk for doing this to him.

I felt this sudden urge to give in and give him a reassuring smile but I held myself back. If I give in now, if I give into my feelings right now then I would not be able to control myself in the future. There was no way. In a few months, I was going to get out of here. Till then, I had to keep myself together and stay strong, making sure I don't give into these feelings.

To not fall in love with him.

Which was ridiculous since I was already in love with him.

So, I tore my gaze away from his face and looked down at my served plate. With a 'thank you' to Maria, I dug into my food and started eating. Completely ignoring the fact that a person was sitting in the same room with me.

"How was your day in office?" Jasper asked, once Maria left us both alone to eat in peace.

Without raising my head to meet his eyes, I nodded my head.

"It was good." I answered him, keeping my answer short and clipped. I did not want to give him anything that might lead to a conversation. I began to take big chunks of the food that I was eating, so that I could finish my dinner soon and leave.

"Did you get all the work done? You know the one that you said in the afternoon? That you had a lot of work." He questioned. I knew that he was trying to make a conversation but I wanted him to stop from doing that.

"Yes, most of it." I answered him. Still not looking up at him. I knew that I was being rude, for sure, but I did not want to look him in the eyes.

"Is something wrong, Ava? Why aren't you looking me in the eyes?" Jasper asked. His voice sounded irritated. He was surely annoyed.

His direct question left me with no choice but to raise my head and meet his eyes.

"Nothing's wrong. I am just tired."

"I just want to finish my food and go to sleep." I told him, making up an excuse.

"Why? What's wrong?" He asked, his face worried and his voice alerted. His question made me feel guilty and bad all at the same time. He was worried if I was okay or not, even when I was behaving like an A - hole to him.

I gave him a reassuring smile, or at least tried to. Not sure if I accomplished it or not.

"Everything is fine. I am just tired, like I told you. That's it." I answered him. With that line, I finally finished my meal. I filled a glass of water and gulped it all down.

"I think I should get going. I really want to sleep." I told Jasper, ignoring his assessing gaze. I stood up, pushing the chair back.

Stepping out the gap, I gave him a smile.

"Good night." I said and left the room. Not hearing a reply back from the guy behind me.

*Next day.

It was Sunday and I had an appointment for a routine check up. I left early to the appointment alone, still avoiding Jasper like a plague. For sure, Jasper would have agreed to come with me for this appointment, it was not like he had not done that already before, but I wanted to avoid him at all cost.

So, here I was alone and getting everything checked up. I was told to wait in my check up room, while the doctor got the report ready. After what I considered to be a fifteen minutes wait, the doctor finally arrived. She closed the curtains behind her and placed the clipboard on the table nearby.

She gestured to me to take a seat on the recliner. Hesitantly, I did. For a second, she remained silent. A silence that was cutting me deeper than a knife, as it stretched on. Making me wonder what was wrong. Finally, with a sigh, the doctor spoke up.

"Is it possible for you to get in touch with the real father of this baby?" She asked. It was her first question, and in her first right question, she dropped a bomb on my head.

"Wh - What?" I question, stuttering a little. Did she ask me if I could get in touch with the father of this baby?

She lets out another sigh, seeming tired and resigned all at once.

"I am not sure but I think your kid could probably have the HDN disease." She told me. Scaring me, even though I had no idea what sort of disease that was?

"You have Rh positive blood group. And if by chance, if the real father of this baby had Bh positive blood then it might lead to a disease called HDN. In this disease, the nervous system of a baby becomes weak and the cells deteriorate at a faster speed." She explained.

"I am not sure about it, so no need to panic about it. However, I wanted to do some blood tests on the real father of this baby. Just in case. I want to prepare for the worst. Also, not to mention, if you are in touch with him now then maybe we could do the test as soon as possible and find out about it now. But if in the future, you lost touch with him then, it probably could become a problem." She told me.

My mind began racing with fear and adrenaline. There could be a problem in the future? Need to do the blood test in the future?

Frantically, I turned to the doctor.

"If - if I get the father of this baby then could that disease be preventable?" I asked her. She shook her head.

"No. No. Listen, I think you are mistaken. I said, there was a Chance that your baby might have this disease. I am not diagnosing it now. I want to do a blood test on the father, JUST IN CASE. You don't need to worry about it, okay?" She reassured me.

Even though her words were reassuring, I did not feel any better. Even knowing that there was no such disease yet, but knowing that there was a slightest chance of knowing that it was possible, sent me into a frenzy.

I needed to find Daniel. I needed to find him for the baby.