Chapter 16: Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Ava POV

I forced myself to get out of my parent’s house. As soon as my feet managed to carry me out of that place, my knees buckled, making me hold on to the wall beside me from going all down.

My body trembled from the sudden blow that I had received earlier. It was like my body was finding it hard to handle the truth, so much so that it was hard for me to stand on my own two feet.

Luckily, nobody was on the road to witness my messy side. I swallowed hard to calm myself down. Taking out my phone that Miss Williams gave me along with my stuff, I ordered a taxi.

The driver told me that he was fifteen minutes away from my destination and that he will be right there.

“Okay.” I replied to him and hung up.

My parents had left me alone. Only, so they could be spared of the embarrassment of being known as the parents of an unmarried daughter with a baby.

But could I blame them?

Wasn't it the truth that I was an embarrassment to them? That I was an embarrassment to myself?

I had plans for my future. I had dreamt about becoming one of the best fashion designers in our nation. But, look at me now, living in someone else’s place, dropped out of college, working a job that was given to me out of pity.

For a once, I was reminded of the night when I wanted to attempt suicide. For one moment, I thought about finishing the task. One that I could not complete that night, but then I  remembered that one another life was growing inside me. One that I had not cared about before but was the only reason I was living now.

I could not punish my kid for the things I had done. After all it was all my mistake that had me ended up in this situation. And now I had to face the consequences of it.

Maybe, leaving me was the right thing to do. Maybe it was a good decision to leave me then why did it still feel like a punch in the gut? Why could not I comprehend the fact it was logical for me to leave in this position?

I waited along with my stuff for the taxi to arrive and pick me up. All the while my thoughts drove me insane. I knew if I did not reach my house in time then I would lose it, right here on the side of the road.

I heard the horn of the car. I glanced up and saw a car coming my way. When it reached my side, I slid open the car door and climbed inside it. Somehow, I managed to tell the driver my new house’s address without stuttering or crying like an idiot.

He began the ride and I stared outside the window and tried to hold my emotions in. Everything in me screamed to let go but I held it in.

He tried making small talk with me but after repeating his question the second time he gave up.

I saw him glancing in the back rear view mirror, but I did not pay attention to it. I did not want to open my mouth and start sobbing.

He stopped glancing my way after a while. Which I was glad for.

After forty-five minutes, I was at my house. I paid him the money in a rush and got out of the car. I speed walk inside the house and right into my bedroom, dragging my bag behind me. I didn't even stop to see if Maria was inside the home or not.

I opened the door of my bedroom and slammed it shut behind me. I took wobbly steps then threw myself on the bed. Burying my face into the mattress I began sobbing. My wails came out hard but were muffled with the mattress beneath me.

I picked up a pillow and clasped it over my head. Feeling sick, like my inside had turned liquid and I was burning from inside. The fire inside me kept burning and burning.

I had no idea how to control myself.

Suddenly, I caught the sound of quiet footsteps heading my way. Even then I did not look up to see who it was. Instead, I pressed up my face more inside the mattress.

My bedroom door slid open, and somebody walked inside. The footsteps echoed until it reached my side. Then a hand was on my head and began stroking my hair. I was still shaking from the crying even though the worst had passed.

I did not move from my spot. I just kept my head pressed up against the mattress and breathed deeply. Finally, the hand grabbed me by my arm and pulled me up.

I stared at the person who pulled me up through my muffled hair and puffy eyes.

Maria’s old figure stared right back at me. She studied my untidy face and shook her head at me. She wiped my face, pulled me closer to her and hugged me. I sagged up against her and melted into her embrace. Finding the comfort that I was desperately searching for.

She pulled me tighter into her and I began weeping again but this time, I had somebody to console me.

“Shh …”

“Shh …”

She made soothing voices to calm me down. It did comfort me, but it also urged me to cry more and let my heart out. My body quivered but I did calm down in the end.

I pulled back from Maria and sat down properly. I kept my head down for a few more moments gathering myself.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Maria asked me. I shook my head lightly in a No.

“No.” I told her. Now that I had collected myself, I realized how unhuman I had behaved. Especially in front of someone who worked for my boss.

What if she tells the boss everything? Regarding how I cried?

“No, I am absolutely fine. It is just my pregnancy hormones that have been driving me crazy, lastly. Please, don’t tell sir anything about me crying. He will get worried for no reason. He had been already worried about my health, especially from the incident earlier. Okay?” I told Maria. She gave me a small smile.

“Don’t worry.  I’m not that big of a gossiper.” She told me. I shook my head frantically.

“No. No, I did not mean that.” I tried to tell her that it was not her but myself.

Maria squeezed my hand.

“I know what you mean.” She told me. I swallowed hard. Grateful to have someone my back in this emotional turmoil.

“Do you want something to eat or drink?” She questioned.

“No.” I replied to her.

“I am tired though. Maybe I will eat when I wake up but not now. So, I just want to sleep. Please don’t let anyone disturb my sleep. I am exhausted.” I told her.

“Okay. Go to sleep and let me know if you want anything, okay?” She asked me.

I gave her a small but genuine smile.

“I will.” I told her. She nodded with a smile and left my room, closing the door behind her. With that I lied down to sleep. To let the darkness of the sleep, take away my pain.