Chapter 41: Chapter 41

What do you most value in your friends?

<Azaria>

The next day, I went to see Heidi.

"I already told you that your idea is not good. Stop all of this, Azaria. Free yourself. You won't gain anything from seeking revenge," Heidi said to me.

I hugged my knees while crying in front of her. I sat on the sofa.

"My anxiety suddenly triggered last night. What if, if I let myself fall for him, he'll leave me? Hurt me again like he did before. He did it once, so he might do it again," I said worriedly as my eyes swelled with tears.

Nick didn't go to work because I cried last night and I'm not talking to him, which worried him. He couldn't do anything but go to work because we'll meet Heidi - he even drove me here. I haven't been talking to him throughout the journey, and I know he's in a bad mood.

"If that's what you're thinking and feeling, then he's not the right person for you. If he's the right one, you won't feel anything like that. Your heart will be at ease, and your mind will be at peace... Let go of each other. You'll just get hurt in the end," she said calmly to me.

I fell silent and didn't say anything. I'm confused about everything. My mind and heart conflict.

"I love him," I admitted, but she didn't react.

"My love for him hasn't gone away. I'm scared, Heidi. What if I get hurt again? What will I do? I'm so scared. My trauma is triggering," I said.

She sighed, "You entered into this, so stand by it."

I stared at her, feeling lost again. I'm always like this. My fear takes over everything.

We remained silent, and she let me think and cry when suddenly the door opened, and Lanvin walked in with a handsome Chinese-looking guy. They were both tall, wearing corporate attire.

I looked at Heidi, and she just nodded before standing up.

"I'll wait outside," she said.

"Hey, who are you? Are you Azaria's friend?" The Chinese-looking guy asked my friend.

"Let's leave them for now," Nick said coldly to the two.

As Heidi left, I was left alone with Nick and the Chinese-looking guy.

"Damn, you look like someone. You resemble my future wife," the Chinese boy said to Heidi.

I lost sight of the two, and I didn't pay attention to Heidi's reaction either.

"Hi, well, bro!" I heard the Chinese boy say before they disappeared from my sight.

"Wife," Nick said in a deep voice. He looked at me seriously and loosened his necktie. He unbuttoned his coat, looking fresh and lovable.

"How did you know I was h-here?" I stammered as I tightened my grip on the pillow.

He let out a sigh and looked at me gently.

"I couldn't focus on my meeting," he began. So what? He's the one who hurts me.

"Your cries are bothering me. Care to tell me what happened to you? You're acting weird," he asked.

"Let's break up," the words just came out of my mouth. I just wanted to see his reaction.

He didn't speak, which made me nervous. He stayed silent for a long time.

He rubbed his face.

"I don't have much patience. I'm trying so hard to understand you. You're making a decision, Azaria Mclaren," he said firmly.

"Let's go home and talk about this at our house," he said emotionlessly.

"No! I don't want to. I'll stay here! How did you even find out I was here?" I snapped at him.

"I don't have any patience left, Azaria," he said coldly, his gaze stern.

"We're going home now," he added.

"I don't want to! Go home by yourself! I don't want you! I don't want to be with you! I don't want to see you either! I'm angry at you! Let's break up, I said!" I yelled at him in anger.

It seemed like he couldn't hold back his emotions anymore, and he shouted back.

"We'll go home whether you like it or not! Fuck! I didn't do anything and you're giving me the cold treatment! We'll go home and talk about this, Azaria!" he said, giving me a stern look.

He grabbed my hand tightly. His grip was so strong that it felt like I would bruise.

Why am I acting like this?

"Nick! Stop it! Let go of me! You're hurting me!" I screamed and tried to pull my hand back, but his grip was so tight that it was almost bruising me.

Why am I behaving like this?

"Nick! What the hell! Let go of me! You're fucking hurting me!" I shouted and punched his arm, but he didn't seem to be hurt.

He carried me out of Heidi's condo.

"Damn! Shut the fuck up!" he shouted, silencing me. Did he just curse at me? I couldn't help but sob because he shouted at me and cursed me.

"I don't want you anymore. I hate you. Let's break up," I repeated over and over until we reached the car.

My life is filled with so much drama, and I never expected that he would be affected like this, but he deserves it because he's a jerk.

I was scared of him while he was driving because he was cursing and driving so fast. I cried the whole way home.

“Get the hell out of there!” He gritted his teeth as he opened the door on my side.

When I didn't move, he took my hand and dragged me out of the car. He was being so harsh with me now.

"Good morning-," the housemaid started to greet us but she stopped when she saw Nick's angry expression and noticed that I was crying.

His anger was only adding to my anxiety. I blamed myself for everything.

"Now, tell me the fuck why you're acting weird. And what the fuck! I fucking give you space and everything, and now you're confronting me to break up! Are you fucking thinking, Azaria?!" he shouted.

He was furious when I told him I wanted to break up.

"Damn it! No one's breaking up!" he yelled.

We were in our bedroom now.

"What the hell is your problem, huh? I couldn't fucking focus on my meetings because of your actions and sudden outburst!"

So it's my fault again? He's such a fucking manipulator. Why do I let him manipulate me? This man is so evil.

"What's the problem, huh? Azaria!"

I couldn't answer and couldn't look at him.

"We always end up like this! You always hurt me!"

"I hate you.." I sobbed, telling him how I felt.

"Damn it!"

"What's wrong! You're scaring me!" I cried out to him.

He took a deep breath, and his anger subsided a bit.

"I just want you to woo me," I admitted.

"I don't believe you, Azaria. There's a hidden reason. Don't try to lie in front of me," he threatened, giving me a harsh look.

It seemed like Nick wouldn't believe me, no matter what I said.

"I don't want this anymore. I'm tired. I feel suffocated with you. I want to break up. If you want, take all the shares. Let me go," I pleaded with him.

"Are you hearing yourself? Invalid reason, Azaria."

"Do you have another man, huh?" he accused me.

"No! I just want to be away from someone like you. I've realized that you're not good for my health. A husband shouldn't shout at and curse his wife like this. And you have so many secrets. Sometimes, I wonder what I am to you, Nick. Yes, we may not love each other, but at least show some respect. You keep so many things from me. I don't want to be married to a man like you," I said with disgust. He seemed hurt by what I said, but he quickly regained his composure. He won't be hurt; he has thick skin.

I wish Kier were my husband instead.

"God! I don't know what to do with you anymore," he whispered.

"I wouldn't be like this if you didn't keep doing things that anger me," he replied, silencing me for a few seconds.

"I'm tired of understanding you, Azaria," he said wearily.

Is he going to break up with me?

"Let's have a rest."

I couldn't respond.

He walked towards the door.

"I hate you, Lanvin Nikolai. I regret marrying you," I said, filled with resentment and regret.

He continued walking and as soon as he stepped out of the door, that's when I started crying.

I called Heidi, and it took her a while to answer.

**

<Third Person>

"Oh, Good Evening, sir!" greeted the housemaid as she saw Nick.

"Is Larkin awake?" he asked the housemaid.

"He's still sleeping, sir. He got tired from playing and hasn't woken up yet. Should I wake him up?" the elderly housemaid asked politely.

"How has he been these past few days?" Nick asked with a weary tone.

"Still the same, sir. He seems to be having a good time with his friends, playing and being active. Sometimes he stays up late too," the housemaid updated him.

"I bought presents for him; they're in my car," Nick informed the housemaid coldly.

"Alright, sir," the housemaid said, excusing herself to fetch the gifts from Nick's car.

Nick then proceeded to his son's room and found him sleeping peacefully. The room was chilly, and the child was wearing his favorite outfit.

He quietly approached the child's bed and kissed him on the cheek.

He gently caressed the child's cheek and hair.

"Your mom hurt me again," Nick began speaking to the child while stroking his hair.

"She's acting weird, and when I tried to approach her, she gets even angrier. I've been trying so hard to understand your mom deeply," his voice broke.

"And now... she wants us to separate," tears fell from his eyes.

"It hurts to love your mommy, my son," he paused, still caressing his hair.

"I can't remember hurting her. She doesn't trust me. I don't know what's going on inside her mind, and then suddenly, she starts a fight."

The child stirred and then opened his eyes.

"Daddy?" he said in disbelief.

He rubbed his eyes and, upon seeing Nick, Larkin's face lit up with joy, and he quickly embraced him as if he had been longing for his presence.

"Daddy, you're here!" he exclaimed.

*

<Azaria>

"Heidi! Heidi, Nick left. He went to see his other woman!" I cried out to Heidi, hours after Nick had still not returned.

"What are you talking about? You're losing it, Azaria!"

"Heidi! Nick left me. He abandoned me. He hasn't come back yet. Maybe he's cheating on me. Heidi," I kept muttering Nick's name, sounding like I was losing my mind.

"Calm down. He'll come back home," she assured me confidently.

I was going crazy. I didn't know what was happening to me.

"Heidi, I'm struggling with my feelings. I'm so scared of what might happen."

"Do you want me to tell your husband about this? So you won't overthink anymore," Heidi suggested.

"No! Don't tell him! Please don't say anything!" I quickly responded.

"I'll tell him. Do you know what you've done? Nick couldn't secure a deal with an investor this morning because he was so out of it. I talked to his cousin Xyrile. Do you remember the Chinese guy this morning? He told me that Nick wasn't himself and he didn't get the proposal. That's the result of your foolishness. I'll tell your husband that you're in love with him, and that's why you're acting this way."

Before I could say anything, she ended the call. That's why I reacted this way because it triggered unresolved issues from my childhood. I had an unresolved issue.

I remembered the locked room here, so I called a housekeeper to open it.

"Ma'am, are you sure about this? Sir might get mad," Lot said, scared.

"Just open it quickly," I ordered her, tears still streaming down my cheeks. They already knew that we had an argument, so why should I hide it from them?

Lot had no choice but to open the door. She turned on the lights, and the room was empty. There was dust, and it seemed like it hadn't been cleaned or opened for a long time.

"Ma'am, there's nothing inside," Lot said as we looked into the room.

I examined the room. There were no belongings or anything else. It was a spacious room.

"Okay, close it now. Call Nick too. Tell him I'm attempting suicide," I told Lot before leaving her there.

"Hala, Ma'am, are you serious? Did someone threaten to commit suicide?"

He walked alongside me.

"Fine. Just call him and make up a story. If he doesn't come home, I'll leave this house. We'll end up separating anyway."

I searched for a knife in the kitchen and cut myself. I knew Nick would worry about me if he saw my wound.

I love him so much, huhu. I'm scared of what I'm feeling.

I waited for five hours in the living room, and he still hadn't returned. I grew even angrier as he kept me waiting.

I was about to go inside the bedroom when I heard the sound of a car engine.

Instead of going back to the living room, I headed to our bedroom and locked the door. Let him deal with his life. He can sleep outside; I don't want him beside me!

Someone tried to open the door. I knew it was Nick.

He attempted to open the door again, but he couldn't.

I waited for five minutes, and the door finally opened. He saw me looking in his direction. As usual, his face was serious.

He walked towards me solemnly. Climbed onto the bed, and I was stunned as he suddenly embraced me.

He let go of the hug. I still couldn't recover when he suddenly silenced me with a kiss.