Chapter 33: Chapter 33

Sun rays landed on my face through the blind that I forgot to pull last night.

I woke up just as usual but not in my typical bed. Checked my phone, responded to my emails, continued working on my series. It has been seven days, three hours, and forty-five minutes since I talked with Kyle. I did not block his number. I can’t. I just didn’t read the messages and did answer the calls.

I do not know why I am acting like this. Am I trying to save something? I was confused, and I did not know what to say or how to respond. It is not like I do not like the moment we shared- I actually liked it too much but responding abruptly to this might cost us our ten-year friendship, and it is a price that I am not exactly sure if I am willing to pay.

It has been a week since I informed James that I would not be at home for some time and that we can have meetings online when needed, but emails would be the best way to contact me. The guy is always so kind as not to ask me what happened or where I went. He just responded with a yes and let me work the way I wanted to be-maybe he also has these moments in life where You would wish to and need to be alone.

Though I try my best to continue with my daily routine of work and life and occasionally beers on the side, I cannot deny that I am greatly affected by what happened. I would admit that there are times I thought, or maybe I wished, that Kyle would find me here-into this secluded place that no one knows where.

I would also admit that within those seven days, three hours, and forty-five minutes there are moments when I can’t help but pause. Moments when I almost felt Kyle’s lips on my lips, his tongue and fingers inside my vagina, and his hard thing inside my mouth.

I would admit that there are times when I would want to run back into his arms and eat him again, eat each other again. Back into that wild night, the wildest night in my life. I didn’t know Kyle wanted it rough.

I visited his room and woke him up that night, as usual when he had a nightmare- I have always done that in the past ten years. I have slept over so many times, and so does he, but nothing happened before, so why now?

My train of thoughts brought me back to the day when Kyle told me he was gay. Five years after the incident, it was a cold winter night that entangled our lives together. I was wearing a cute pink dress and a thin coat in the middle of the night, sacrificing comfort just to look pretty.

The young me is now looking at Kyle’s back, heart racing fast as my blood rushed to my face causing a sudden blush. With all my might, I said in a loud voice,

“ I LIKE YOU!”

My whole world stopped as my heart kept beating so fast it almost jumped out of my chest as I waited eagerly for Kyle’s response. A response that took him more or three minutes to compose. I slowly took a step back, understanding that this situation meant I was rejected. Still, Kyle slowly turned his face toward mine.

One step.

Two Steps.

This young man walked closer to me.

Kyle lifted my face to meet his eyes. He looked at them as if he was trying to read what was in my soul.

He smiled. My eyes were on the verge of giving up on holding the tears that were harboring in their corners.

Kyle pulls my face towards him.

I might have watched too many K-dramas because that action made me as I got excited and ready for a kiss, but what he gets is nothing of what she expected as a response to her confession.

Kyle’s lips did not land on hers, but instead, it went near to her ears and whispered, “ I am gay, you idiot,”

I remembered being so shocked as I did not have the slightest idea; I even thought that this might just be his way of making sure that I stayed in the friendzone. Whatever might be his reason, and even if what he said is true or not, it did not matter that time- I am just happy to keep him by my side for the last ten years until last week’s event happened.

My train of thought was disrupted by a knock on the door. It got me really disturbed as I did not recall telling anyone or even leaving the slightest hint as to where I am at this moment.

At first, I pretended not to hear anything, but as the knocking got louder, I became concerned that the neighborhood might get disturbed because it was almost midnight.

I went slowly in the door, carrying anything I could grab- I did not even notice what I was taking as long as it is complex and can be used to hit someone. I slowly took a peek at the window by slowly lifting up the curtain, and I saw a silhouette that I would recognize anywhere.

I was about to ask him to leave when he banged the door so loud and shouted.

“ I would break this damn door if you will not open it this instant,”

Kyle sounded very serious as he banged the door once more.

“Are you drunk?” I asked though I couldn’t hear a hint of alcohol in his voice.

“Open this f*cking door!” I was stunned and hastily opened the door. I was taken aback by his actions as this is not something I am used to.

As the door slowly creaks, I can see Kyle’s worried face, and when the door fully opened, we just stood there looking at each other for ten seconds before Kyle pulled my hand and then…