Chapter 26: Chapter 26

~Jade~

Happy new year except that there's nothing happy about the new year. Things have gone downhill since Zee attempted to commit suicide. It was a narrow escape. She healed quickly and was discharged just two days after. Mom was discharged too. Our home fell into a rhythm of silence I never thought could happen to us. I wished Grandma was here, she would know what to do, how to resolve all these. She seemed to me, someone that would resolve anything and everything with just a snap of her fingers but sadly, she wasn't here anymore and we have to fight our way through this, ourselves. Dad called a meeting just last night to talk about the things that were happening. What was supposed to calm the situation ruined it even more.

'Zainab, you're our child, our first daughter, nothing is ever going to change that. You fed on your mother's breasts. You were raised here with your siblings. There's no Badmus family without you.'

Dad had said and Zee said nothing, she just kept staring into oblivion.

'That's right, Zainab, you're my first daughter. We love you guys equally. Don't allow this to break our family.' Mom said.

'Really? I'm the daughter of this house? You love us equally?'

Zee said finally, and she smiled a small pitiful smile.

'Funny how I've always felt out of place, how I've always felt Saheed and Jade were things I could never be. I've always been wondering why that is and now, I know.'

'Zainab.......'

Brother Saheed called out silently. I knew that was meant to caution her.

'This meeting is pointless. What are we going to talk about anyway? I'm an illegitimate child. I'm the unwanted child. Is there something that's going to change that?'

Then she stood up and made to leave. I glanced at mom, she was starting to cry silently.

'You won't leave this room while I'm still sitting or else......'

'Or else what?' Zee interrupted Dad sharply. 'How else what? Throw me out of the house? Disown me? Because that's all you guys say whenever I do something wrong. Nobody in this house will ever understand how much I've tried to fit in, how much I just want to be loved. I've always wondered why I'm the bad child, the one who always did things her siblings wouldn't do. I got my reason. And you can always throw me out, I'm no daughter of this house anyways.'

Then she left, running up the stairs. I followed her, calling her name. I got to her door just as she made to close it.

' Zee, let's..... '

She slammed the door in my face.

That was yesterday, new year's eve. What's a possibly worst way to celebrate new year's eve? And today, new year, our house was quiet, that's so unnatural for us. It was 1 pm and I was still on my bed, surfing the internet. I opened my Instagram account and a notification popped up

uthman_gbadamosi started following you.

I rolled my eyes and scrolled past the notification, is he stalking me on social media now? We have less than two weeks to our grand competition and he's following me on Instagram? What? Shit? I forgot about the competition. I've not even written anything or read anything about the topic. With the drama happening at home, I forgot about my whole source of existence at Lakeview.

My door creaked open and I looked up to see Zee peeping. I sat up. Her eyes were swollen and puffy. When she spoke, I did not recognize the voice like my sister's.

'Can I come in?'

She asked and before I could answer, she entered the room and sat on my bed, very close to where I was sitting. Typical of Zee to ask for permission for something and not wait for that permission before she'll do that thing. If I reach out, my hands will touch her. We were quiet for a while and the silence was suffocating. Finally, I spoke

'I'm sorry.'

She looked at me.

'what for? You did nothing wrong.'

'I don't know. I just feel the need to.'

'You don't have to. You're not the dad who couldn't keep pants up.'

I nodded slowly, thinking about the situation. If dad hadn't cheated on mom, there wouldn't have been Zee. How would my life be without Zee? Who'll I be? What will I be?'

'But it's crazy, isn't it? I mean I just woke up one day and discovered my whole life was a lie.' She laughed mirthlessly, It's like walking into Hollywood.'

'Don't talk like that Zee, you know deep down that is not true.'

She shook her head.

'Put yourselves in my shoes, imagine when that woman came, she called you her daughter and your parents lather told you that the woman was right, how would you feel? What would you do?'

I said nothing for a while, weighing the replies in my mouth. The truth is I never saw this coming, not in my weirdest dream.

'At first, it will matter because I'll start questioning everything I believe in but lather, it won't because I can't imagine not living in this house, not hearing your tease every day.'

'You're not thinking far enough. What about the one that claimed to be your mother? A part of you will start getting curious, what's this woman like, is this the one I took after? Does she....?

I shook her suddenly, forcing her to stop talking. I looked at her straight in the eyes.

'Zee, the only mother you have his mom, regardless of whatever anybody says.'

Zee said nothing for a while, then she stood up to leave. She paused and turned back by the door.

'How I wish you were right. How I desperately want that to be the truth. How much I want to wake up from this nightmare. But you know what? It's my reality now.'

Then she left and closed the door silently behind her.

**********

It has been our ritual from time immemorial to go out on January 2nd of each year. We'll go out from noon till late in the night. Brother Saheed and his girlfriend, Aunty Fatima always followed us too and it's always so fun. From going to the cinema to bowling, then going to the park in the evening. That was even the list of my worries at the moment. I was jotting down points for my debate but my mind keeps drifting off. I was almost dozing off when Zee entered my room, all dressed up, any trace of tears was gone from her face.

'What are you still doing not dressed?'

She asked, staring at me in disbelief.

'What are you talking about?'

She rolled her eyes.

'Come on Jade, it has been our ritual for ages to go out today. Even Fatima is here already.'

What?

'We're going out?' I asked again, trying not to betray the excitement growing in my chest. Finally, Zee is coming back to her normal self.

'No, we're going in.' She replied and I laughed, feeling tears in my eyes. God! What will I ever do without Zee?

'Oya, go and take a shower and I'll help you pick the clothing you will wear.

I obeyed her without saying nada. This is too good to be true.

***********

'Is that not your crush?'

Zee said and I turned in the direction she was looking at. The truth was Uthman walking towards us with a young girl whose hand was in his. We were in Palms mall and the whole place was overcrowded. Brother Saheed and Aunty Fatima have gone to get out tickets for the sugar rush movie. I did not reply to Zee, I don't mind her calling Uthman my crush for the rest of my life as long as she doesn't withdraw to teary and sad Zee again.

'Hey Girls, we got the tickets, let's go.'

We both turned to see Brother Saheed waving the tickets at us just as Uthman got to us.

'Oh, it's you, small Messi. How're you?'

Saheed greeted Uthman immediately he got to us. He answered and turned to me.

'Hi Jade'

'Hi,' I replied and looked up to see Zee, grinning at me.

'Is this your younger sister?'

Saheed asked again and bent down to pull her chubby cheeks.

'Yeah, I'm his younger sister. My Name is Moji and I'm nine years old.'

I laughed just as the rest laughed too. I guess being overly sharp runs in their family. I wanted us to leave. I don't feel like being in Uthman's presence at all.

'Uthman, I got the tickets'

Someone called out again and a lady walked up to us. She stared, incredulously at us.

'They're my brother's friends.'

Moji said, without anyone asking her. Just two minutes of meeting her and I'm already liking her.

'Oh, I'm Uthman's.....'

She paused for a little, a moment so brief that I thought I had imagined it.

'She's my mom.'

The woman's eyes grew moist at that. I knew there must be a history there. I knew Uthman lost his mother at a very young age so this must be his stepmother. Whatever history is there is none of my business, I have a lot to deal with already.

'We should probably go before they finish showing the movie we are here to watch.'

Aunty Fatima said and just when we were about to part, Zee asked Uthman the movie they were going to watch. It was the same movie. We all filed into the hall together and I ended up sitting beside Uthman again.

********

~Uthman~

1 265 789 times.

That's the exact number of times I've thought of Jade in the last five days. She filled in my thoughts every fucking time. If I stayed up till late in the night, I would wonder if she was asleep or still awake, if she was back to her normal self now, if...... Damn! I've thought about her more than I've thought about anyone in my entire life. And that's just in five days. I've stalked her on social media, going over her posts on Facebook, obsessing over her pictures on IG. In the end, I sent her a friend request on Facebook and followed her on IG.

Why Jade?

Why on earth am I liking Jade? Of all people? We had a bad history. We hated each other. I disliked her guts and mean ways. And then, there's Michelle. What am I going to do with her? The last time I thought about Michelle was ages ago. I'm a certified jerk. I know.

Why not Jade?

She's intelligent and very beautiful, she's fun to be with and contrary to what I've always thought, she's fun to be with and when she laughs, God! I don't even want to think about that, at least not yet.

'Uthman, are you ready?'

My stepmom called out for me from downstairs and I quickly shrug on my shirt.

'Yes, ma. I'm coming.'

It was January 2nd and we were going out. My stepmom and I were growing closer by the day. It is surprising because I never thought I could be this close to her.

And now here we are at palms mall and I saw the last person I thought I was going to see. Jade. I was so happy to see her. This must be one of those things Dan said about starting to crave her presence. She was standing with her sister and she wore Jean trousers with a blacktop. Her hair was packed in a bun and she looked so pretty. When did she get this pretty or has she always been this pretty?

I found myself walking towards her even though her stepmotherspecifically told us to wait for her as she went to get our tickets.

Jade avoided looking at me all through. It seems to me, that she wasn't pleased to see me. Did I imagine it then, the shared glances, the contact, and how she looked at me that day?

'The movie is starting'

My sister said beside me and I turned to look at the screen. I've been staring at Jade since we got in and she wasn't even acting as if I'm there or not. Good!

The movie was very funny and we ended up laughing at every turn. There was something about Jade's laughter, a rich melodious sound I wish I could keep listening to.

After the movie, we all filled out of the hall.

'Is this the point where we say goodbye?'

Brother Saheed asked once we got to the park. I was about to answer when he asked again.

'Or do you guys mind coming to the park with us?'

I turned to my stepmom-mom, I don't know when or how it started but I'm starting to feel like calling her mom, I'd even introduced her as mom earlier.

'You guys can follow them. I have to be somewhere. I'll just pick you guys up when I'm done.'

And that's how we ended up following the Badmus family to Trans Amusement. I envied their closeness, the Badmus family. I wished we were more than two children in my family too. Will Aunty Wura want to give birth to another kid? What am I even thinking about?

'There's no soft drinks. We forgot to bring that.'

'Zainab and Jade should go and get it.'

Brother Saheed replied the lady I guessed was his girlfriend. Zainab who was lying on the mat replied.

'let the youngest ones here go.'

'Stand up and let's go. Don't talk your way out of tasks.'

Jade replied to her and attempted to pull her up. Zainab groaned and turned to me.

'Uthman, do you mind going on my behalf?'

And that's how I ended up going with Jade to get the soft drinks.

'Do you realize the most words you've said to me today was 'hi'?'

I asked her once we started walking towards the stalls where they sold refreshments.

'And what do you want me to do? Sing you a song or tell you a story?'

I smiled. Jade and her mean words.

'Anyone you like.'

'in your dreams.'

'Who suggested it in the first place?'

We fell into an awkward silence afterward. I kept thinking of the right words to say but I couldn't find any.

'You're okay?'

I finally asked.

She rolled her eyes.

'Do I look not okay?'

'Come on, I mean the last time I saw you, you were in a very bad mood and then Hana said you had stuff going on at home.'

There was no answer for a while that I thought she was going to ignore. Then she  replied

'Why do you care anyway? It's none of your business?'

'I was worried about you..... You know, you were always so strong. I knew whatever happened to you must be enormous if it could have gotten to you like that.'

She turned to look at me and we held each other's gaze. A moment or two passed before she looked away and we started walking again.

'Well, thank you for worrying about me even though I never asked you.'

I laughed.

'it won't kill you to compliment someone normally, you know?'

She laughed too.

'Deja vu. That sounded familiar.'

'Yeah, that's because I said something similar to you before.'

'oh oh, I remember. That day we had a stupid conversation on Marlianism, isn't it?'

Oh, she remembers. Does that count as something? Does that mean Jade is thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about her? Don't get your hopes up, Uthman.

We got the drinks and returned to where others were. We had a lot of fun and I bonded quickly with the Badmus family, Brother Saheed because we both have a shared passion for football, Zee because she's so crazy, I thought Jade was crazy but Zee's own get level. Eventually, it was dusk and we had to leave even though none of us wanted to leave. Brother Saheed ended up dropping us off.

Lather that night when I retired to bed, I turned on my data, and notifications popped up from my social media.

Facebook - Jadeshola Badmus accepted your friend's request.

Instagram- Jade_B started following you.

I rubbed my eyes, not quite believing what I was seeing. Then I did a hoo-hoo sound, fisting my palm and throwing it into the air.

Could there be a better way to end a good day like this?

Time to sleep and probably dream of Jade.