Chapter 41: Chapter 41

Study, graduate school, and work. Actually, that's the only plan I have for my life. My studies come before anything else, no matter how much time my buddies and I spend hanging out or drinking. But I had a different goal when I met Atasha Rodriguez. She is simple but beautiful. Her appeal was so strong that even if she were just sitting and busy with what she was sketching, she seemed like an angel in my eyes.

"You. I've been noticing for a long time the stickiness of your gaze on the fine art student who often hangs out on the bench," Thelmo commented when we once had a drink in his dorm.

My jaw quickly tightened, and I looked at him intently. "How did you know her?"

"Whoa! Chill, no one is going to steal your babe," he said while still raising both hands in the air. "It's obvious what course she's taking; besides that, I can already smell your moves by simple passing through their room even though it's faster on the other pathway."

The rest of our companions laughed and showered me with jests.

"Make your move, bro. Go ahead; the last semester is almost over; you won't see her again," said Thelmo as his eyebrows rose up and down.

I sneered at him and drank the beer I was holding. "We're both studying. I might just ruin her studies."

"Fvck, Zachary, you talk like you'll get her pregnant." Thelmo laughed and shook his head.

Asshole, that's what I'm worried about.

I just didn't say a word and continued drinking with them. I know how to respect women, but I'm also not a saint who avoids temptation. By just thinking that I'm going to date her and we'll be together, I know that I can't pull out anymore when we get to the point where she gives herself to me.

We'll be lucky if we don't get to that point.

I'm not the type of man who only wants to bed girls. I'm also not the type of man who has motives to make someone sleep with me. I'm content even with a simple date or holding hands, but if she's the one who doesn't control herself, we'll both burn.

Well, whether something happens to us or not, I can respect her in every way. If we ever become lovers, I will cherish her with all my heart. I will not cheat, I will not hurt her—verbally or physically—and I will never make her feel that she is not my priority because that is the bare minimum that men should do with respect to their partner.

Fvck. She doesn't even know me yet, but my imagination is already stretched.

I just shook my head and put her out of my mind. Not possible, not yet. We need to finish first so that if we make a mistake, I won't have a problem feeding and educating our child.

***

"BRO!"

I raised my head as Thelmo rushed towards me. I'm here today in the library, and I'm busy highlighting notes for our upcoming exam tomorrow. I squinted my eyes as he caught his breath.

"Your babe is cheating on you!" His eyes widened as he shared the news.

"What?" I said. I don't know what to think first about what he said: was it that he said that she was cheating even though we weren't in a relationship or the fact that there was another man around her?

Fvck. It seems like someone wants to fall in line first.

I don't care about our exam tomorrow; I'll just rely on my stock knowledge. I stood up from my seat and made my way out of the library. If any man dares to approach the woman of my dreams, he must be sure that he will have a great fight with me. Tss!

"Oh, why don't you come closer?" said Thelmo, who followed me.

We are now on the second floor, overlooking the bench where Atasha often hangs out. What he said was true; there was a man talking to the woman I was trying to avoid. Based on the twinkle in his eyes, I know that he isn't just looking for friendship with the girl I like.

My jaw tightened.

My restraint seems to be slipping.

"Bump her," I ordered Thelmo when I faced him.

"Huh?" His forehead was wrinkled.

I let out a deep breath. "Stupid. If I approach her right away, she might be afraid of me."

"I don't get it," he said confusedly.

I just massaged my senses and looked down. "I don't want to look like a stalker in front of her, so we have to create a scene where I can introduce myself properly."

"Your tactic is old, man. Do I really need to bump her? And why should I be the one who needs to bump her? Aren't you scared that she might fall for me?" He laughed.

I glared at him. "Asshole. Instead of being a whipped man to her, I want to look like a hero."

Thelmo shook his head and patted my shoulder. "Okay, I'll help you with that even if the way you think makes me cringe," he said with a stifled laugh.

"Tss! Just don't bump her too hard. If I was not able to catch her, you're dead to me," I strongly threatened.

Thelmo and I waited in the middle of the stairway; this is where we discussed making the plan. We were going down while Atasha was going up, and my friend could barely pass her. As for me being attentive, I will catch her immediately. It's just a simple interaction, but my heart feels like it's going to explode with excitement. Sweat was forming on my forehead while my feet were numb, even though we had only been standing for a few minutes.

Fvck.

We were just getting to know each other, but I'm already nervous. What if I've already fallen in love? Don't tell me that will make me faint. I just shook my head and looked down the stairs again.

"Shit! She's here!" I informed.

My chest pounded more when I saw her figure climbing up.

"Just chill, dude," laughed Thelmo, who took a position behind me.

"Laugh, fool!" I snorted.

"What else am I doing?" He laughed loudly and slapped my back.

Fvck!

My eyes widened as I was taken by the force he created. Because my knees were shaking and I didn't prepare for it, I fell down the stairs. I tried to avoid hitting Atasha so she wouldn't be hurt by the fall, but I was surprised when she grabbed me by my collar. I quickly wrapped my hand around her waist and spun myself around, causing my back and elbow to fall to the floor.

I instantly opened my eyes to look at the woman I was hugging after hastily closing them due to the pain surging through my body. She looked shocked. She stayed on top of me; it's like everything didn't register with her right away.

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly, which brought her back to reality.

"Shit!" I cursed when she suddenly pulled away from me.

The pain that I felt in my arm came back again because of her actions. She knelt beside me worriedly, not knowing how to hold me. She seems to want to cry.

"Sorry," she said, swallowing a few more times.

"Are you alright?" I repeated my question and looked at her entire body, avoiding staring at her moving throat.

"Yeah. You're the one who's not okay; it looks like you have a broken bone," she stammered. "Can you stand up? I'll take you to the clinic," she added.

I wanted to turn her down because I would bother her, but when I looked up the stairs, Thelmo was gone. I closed my eyes tightly in annoyance. My plan was ruined, and my friend even ran away from me.

"Does it hurt too much?"

I caught my breath and felt my heart stop beating when I felt her gentle caress on my arm. I can't even move or speak. I was like a statue that sat slightly and just stared at her.

"Can you help me stand up?" I said when I recovered.

Shit! My lips trembled with nervousness. She silently took her place by my side, ready to support me. I felt like a fool when her hand grabbed my waist to support me as I stood up.

"Sorry! Does it hurt too?" she said worriedly.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I was just surprised."

She frowned, maybe wondering what I said. I bit my lip and looked away. I feel like all my blood has pooled on my face because of the sinking shame in my chest.

"It's my first time being held by a woman," I whispered, just enough for her to hear.

Shit! She smiles!

"What's your name?" she asked, curious.

I couldn't stop my mouth from being agape. Suddenly, I remembered the reason why I ended up in this situation. I secretly cleared my throat and pretended not to be affected by what she asked.

"Zachary, why?" I said sternly.

I wanted to applaud myself for my good acting. I have not attended any workshops yet; nonetheless, I was able to hide my love-sick self from her. Can't help but be proud of my shit.

"Shall we go to the infirmary now, Zachary? You seem delirious," she said, stiffening her laughter.

"You're so heartless, miss." I held my chest, pretending to be hurt.

She laughed and shook her head, then refocused her attention on helping me. I tried to avoid being a burden to her, so even though some parts of my body were often in pain, I stood up swiftly. I held my breath, stopping my scream, as my arms felt like they had been stabbed a hundred times.

"Atasha."

My attention turned to her when she suddenly spoke as we started to walk. I blinked several times, staring at her tilted face. It's like a robot that my feet move on their own. I can no longer feel the pain in my body.

"That's my name, Atasha Rodrigue—Zachary!"

She watched me wide-eyed when I fell from my position. Even though it was embarrassing, my knees really went soft after she introduced herself to me. Fvck!

***

We got to know each other, dated, and became lovers. I don't know if I can call it luck that she graduated before something happened to us, but I'm thankful for that. I already have a job, and even if the income is not yet high, I know that I can support her needs right now.

I knew her dad didn't like me, but I didn't pay attention to that anyway. I just promised myself that I would do everything to be more worthy of Atasha. If before my only plan in life was to graduate and find a job, now I plan to ask her to marry me.

'Good morning, my doctor baby! How are you? I hope you don't forget to eat at the right time. I miss you!'

'My doctor baby! Guess what? I only ate bread for lunch because I don't have an appetite. I miss you already. Anyway, I have something to tell you when you come back.'

'Goodnight, my doctor baby! I love you. I miss you so much, but don't worry; I understand that you are doing everything to make your future even better. Keep safe!'

I smiled when Atasha's messages entered my smartphone one after the other when I lay down in the hotel I was staying at. Tired of the convention, all that was lost because of her. This is how she always affects me; she becomes my rest.

I immediately typed a reply. I greeted her and told her that I missed and loved her too. Although it saddened me, I also told her about the possible extension of my stay. I don't know why we had to extend here in Zambales, but I can't do anything else but obey because that was the decision of the higher-ups. The only thing that was disconcerting is that we are holding the meeting in a village where our phones often do not receive a signal.

"I miss you so much," I whispered while looking at the wallpaper of my smartphone, where Atasha and I were hugging and smiling at each other.

With just a little patience, we will be together again.

Something's odd. That's what I thought when I noticed that Atasha hadn't texted me for three days. Her cellphone was out of reach when I tried to call her. I made an effort to remain cool despite my worries. I just thought that maybe she was doing something or maybe they had an emergency, so she forgot to update me.

'Are you all right? Did something happen? I might go home early tomorrow; I'll go straight to the mansion to see you. I miss you so much, baby. I love you.'

I tried to put my mind at ease. I have nothing to fear. Atasha and I love each other. Unlike other relationships, whenever we have a problem, we immediately talk about it and fix it. We didn't even get to the point of arguing.

'I love you so much, Atasha. I am always grateful that you love me. Take care always, baby. See you tomorrow.'

The next day I woke up early, and the first thing I checked was my cellphone; she still hasn't texted me. I tried to call her again, but like last time, she was out of reach. I just sighed. Suddenly, I want to speed up the time so that I can go home right away.

'Baby, I'm starting to worry about you. I'm not used to you not texting. I hope you are fine. See you soon; I love you.'

That was my last text before doing my daily routine. I have already packed my things because I plan to go straight to Atasha's mansion after the meeting. I will not go back to the hotel to save time. I just stopped packing when I saw the ring I bought at a jewelry shop here in Zambales. Its design is simple, but like Atasha, it is very beautiful in my eyes. The ring band of the ring is plain gold, while there are three small diamonds on top of it.

I smiled and carefully put it in my pocket. "I can't wait to call you my wife, Atasha."

***

"W-WHAT?"

I'm not sure if I'm currently experiencing a nightmare or an illusion. I tried my hardest to accept what Eunice said, but I just couldn't. I find it difficult to believe that the woman I trusted and loved cheated on me.

She had another man, got pregnant, and had an abortion. I don't know how, when, or why it all happened. She left me, even though I didn't want to believe it, her escape was enough to prove that everything her sister said was true.

It freaking hurts. I was like a toy that was valued for a while and left when she got bored. I shook my head in disbelief and took a deep breath.

"When is she coming back?" I asked Eunice weakly.

She turned her gaze to me and stared at me seriously. Her jaw tightened for a moment as anger flashed through her eyes. "She's not coming back, Zachary," she said.

I just faked a laugh and ran my fingers through my hair.

Nope. No matter what happens, I will bring her back. I will get revenge. I will take revenge for all the pain she gave me.

"Thanks for letting me know the truth. I fvcking appreciate it," I said coldly and took my leave.

As I made my way out of the mansion, my hands clenched. One by one, I created the plans in my thoughts. I'll bring them all down. Even if Atasha may have been the only person who deliberately hurt me, I still won't disregard the fact that they let her escape from my rage.

You will all taste my anger.

***

It took me two years to fully settle my plans. Everything was ready. I have gained the trust of Atasha's parents, and more than that, her sister and I are getting married.

Maybe my relationship with her sister won't have an impact on Atasha, but the goals I have are still on track. I just made a marriage proposal, but that doesn't mean I will actually go through with it. Regardless of whether Atasha returns home, I won't attend the wedding; I will abandon Eunice in front of the altar. I'll start punishing them all on that day. I'm going to ruin her father and stepmother next. She will crawl to me, pleading for help, after I make sure her family is destroyed.

"We have a surprise for you," said Thelmo while we were drinking here inside my condo.

I just shook my head. I have an idea of what he's saying, but I don't have any plans to counter it. I don't need another girl tonight; it would be good if Atasha was his surprise; I might be more happy.

Fvck.

I was drunk, and I thought about that. Maybe I'm just frustrated because she still hasn't come back to the Philippines. Maybe I trusted myself so much that I could destroy her ego.

I secretly sighed and focused my attention on drinking. I tried to forget tonight, but maybe fate is playing with me. I don't know if I'm going crazy because I see Atasha's face behind the black mask worn by the woman sitting on my bed.

Fvck.

I have not been able to follow what happened. I felt like my body was moving on its own. I fucked her really hard, and I must admit, I'm satisfied with what I did.

The next morning, I didn't know what to think first. Is it Atasha's return, what happened to us, or the anger in her eyes? I feel mixed emotions.

I'm happy that I managed to destroy her ego, but even so, I can't help but be angry because she acted like she did nothing wrong. She and Eunice were throwing words at each other, but none of them entered my mind. I was drowning in my own thoughts.

I can smell our after-sex scent. Based on the marks on my bed, I know we didn't use protection. I also saw some stains on Atasha's thigh when she openly undressed in front of us. I secretly smirked when an idea came to mind.

If you are using your body to destroy my relationship with your sister, then I will also use that as an advantage to lock you up with me. I will get you pregnant, Atasha. I will make sure of it.

I let her seduce me. I have an idea that she will use what is happening between us to destroy my upcoming marriage with Eunice, but I don't care. After all, I really had no plans to show up that day.

I simply followed her lead, despite the fact that occasionally I let my annoyance and anger get the better of me. She probably thought she was successful at what she did, but she was actually lulling herself into my trap. I don't give a damn about my career or my license; all I want is to make sure she can never run away again.

"Congratulations, Zachary! I'm pregnant! Atasha giggled wickedly.

I must be crazy. Instead of torturing her and ruining her life to get revenge, I do the opposite. I hit her sister to annoy her. Who am I fooling? I did that because I really want her to come back.

Yeah, congratulations to me. You are mine now, Atasha.

***

SHE lied. I found out that she's not really pregnant after I took her to the hospital when she passed out at the vet. I'm no saint to say I didn't feel angry, but I just used that opportunity to keep her by my side.

"You're crazy," she said coldly after telling her that I'd live with her anger if she didn't want us to forget the past.

I just pulled her closer to me and smiled bitterly. "Yes, I've gone mad and desperate. I don't care. The important thing is that I'm the one who got..." I paused for a moment. "You pregnant."

So what if she's not really pregnant? I'll get her pregnant for real, then.

I am a slave to what she wants. I never thought it was all pretend. I treated her like a real pregnant woman, and even though the child in her womb was just an illusion, I appreciated and loved it. I just thought that one day, without noticing, what's in her stomach would be real.

"I miss you," Eunice said when I answered her call.

I didn't answer her. I just looked at Atasha, hoping to feel even a little jealousy in her eyes. But who am I fooling?

"Are you going to get the child?" Eunice continued to take me seriously.

I don't need her anymore in my plans, but because something is bothering me based on Atasha's anger, I didn't cut my ties with her.

"I'm drunk, Eunice. Let's talk later," I said while focusing my eyes on Atasha.

She's walking fast. I tried to match her pace, but she was too fast.

"Alright. I'll wait for you to call, ah?" said the person I spoke to on the phone.

"Okay. I'll just take a shower to get sober."

I didn't wait for her to answer, and I completely hung up. I chased after Atasha and tightened my jaw to stop her with her arm. I don't know why I feel annoyed—is it because she really doesn't care about my conversation with his sister or because she doesn't care about me?

"Why are you walking so fast?" I couldn't help but show my irritation.

"Excuse me? I was not curious about your conversation with your ex-fiancee." She gave me an eyeroll. "Oh, wait. Am I right? Maybe you still plan to get married after you take my child."

What? If anyone is going to get married, it's you and me.

"I don't get what you are talking about, Atas—"

"Yeah, yeah. Play harder, Zachary," She cut me off.

What she said irritated me more. I swiftly closed the gap between us and towered over her. A dark smirk appeared on my lips.

"Do you really want me to play harder, Atasha?" I caressed her waist sensually. "You might... "My gaze went down to her belly. "Bear a twin if I do."

I am true to my words. If I'm given a chance that something will happen to us again, I'll make the most of it. I will make sure that her pretense turns out to be true.

"What are you doing?" she asked narrowly after we had sex over and over again.

Nothing. I am just making sure that all of my loads are inside you.

"You asked me to play harder, Atasha. Then prepare yourself because I will do everything just to have you in my possession."

I became more attentive and caring in the following weeks with her after what happened to us. I also secretly look at her things sometimes to check if she's taking any pills. I have no plans to stop her if she is really using it. I will respect that. I just want to know in advance so I don't get my hopes up.

I don't want to sink into my illusion either.

***