Chapter 27: Chapter 27

Suddenly, all of my exhilaration subsided—possibly because I thought back on my past. I was quiet for the following few hours. I wasn't even moving from my position; I was just looking at my surroundings and Zia from time to time, who is now assisting Nanay Victoria in setting out the tableware for eating.

I sighed and observed the serene sky. I smiled bitterly. I couldn't help but ask the Lord why he had given me so many horrible experiences. To make me stronger? To prepare me better?

But do I really need that?

Maybe I wasn't a perfect child. Even so, I know that I have been an honest and good partner. I couldn't help but feel unfair. Why do I have to suffer all the pain? Why do I have to be the only one to be broken?

Revenge. Only the ignorant don't realize that's wrong, but can they hold it against me?

Two years ago, I was at my lowest point. I lost a child. I was cheated by people I trusted. The person I was hoping would support me abandoned me. I was forever deprived of the opportunity to be a mother. So is it wrong for me to make them suffer the miserable life I have? While I was haunted by nightmares and consumed by trauma, they slept soundly and even managed to prepare for a wedding. That's more inappropriate than revenge, right?

I laughed emptily when I remembered what the doctor told me before I even flew to America. Even if he tries to embellish his words, I know that it only means one thing: I will never have children again. Losing my child had a big impact on my body; the chances of me getting pregnant were slim to none. I felt that I was useless, which is why, even though some boys tried to flirt with me, I didn't give in to them. I know there are people who can build a family without children, and there are also many options now, like adoption, to fill that gap. But I cannot. I can't open that thing to others yet; that's why I didn't even tell Aireen, who is my friend. I felt that I would be a burden to others, so I just left that matter alone. I chose to be alone rather than share my problem with my future partner.

I have faith that one day I will likewise accept the situation I am in. The idea that I am inadequate and useless will no longer exist in my mind. But since it's still ingrained in my soul, I shall utilize it as a weapon against them.

"Are you okay?"

I slowly turned my attention to the speaker. Zachary was staring at me as if he knew there was a problem based on my face. I could feel his concern; his eyes focused on my stomach for a while, and he gently sat next to me.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked again.

I didn't answer. I just watched him—his eyes, his demeanor. It's funny to think that I'm seeing the man I loved and trusted at this moment. How he looked and acted back then was very similar. When I didn't know anything about. The times when I thought everything was real.

"Why?" I said softly, making him frown.

Why do you have to treat me like that?

I refocused my attention on nothingness. He was silent by my side, as if he were waiting for what I would say next. I smiled bitterly and closed my eyes when the cold air hit my face. I feel some strands of my hair flying that I didn't bother to fix.

I also want to get rid of all the pain I feel. I also want to get rid of all the anger in my chest. I also want to live in peace, like the wind that travels freely around the world.

However, before I could experience all that, I had to forget. I have to forgive. I have to accept everything. But how can all that happen if I don't see any remorse from them?

I'm not kind, and I'm not a saint either, to allow them to live their happy lives while I suffer because of what they did. Call me a sinner, but my unborn child and I shall receive justice. If going through hell was the way to get it, I would. My child does not deserve to be forgotten and ignored.

"Sakaryo! Tasya! Come here! Let's eat."

I slowly opened my eyes when I heard Aunt Victoria's voice. I looked at the person next to me and was slightly stunned to notice that he was still staring at me. Even though there was confusion in his eyes, I focused more on the sadness I felt there. I don't know, but he seems to sympathize. Our gaze was only interrupted when Zia appeared in front of us.

"Come on, Brother Zachary and Sister Tasha. The dish grandma cooked is delicious," she said while pulling our hands together.

I tried to smile and nod at Zia. I stood up before Zachary. I could feel his gaze following me while he remained seated, which I just ignored. I feel like I don't have the energy right now to pay attention to him. My brain is messed up, and I'm also numb with frustration.

I admit that somehow I am grateful for my intense anger towards him and towards them. If it wasn't for that, I might have given up a long time ago. The anger in my chest was the only thing keeping me alive now, as if I had no right to take my life until I avenged my child against them.

"Brother!" Zia growled when Zachary still didn't move.

He let out a sigh before smiling at the girl. He also stood up, and both of us started pulling Zia. The girl kept laughing, but both Zachary and I were silent. I don't know what he's thinking; I'm just thankful that he doesn't seem to have any intention of bothering me right now.

We sat on a long chair while there was a wide bamboo table in front of us where the food and utensils we would use for the meal were arranged. Zachary's and Aunt Victoria's colleagues sat happily; even though they were sweating, I didn't feel any hatred. They each took food while starting to talk, constantly joking with each other.

It's amazing that even though I was surrounded by people I didn't know, I didn't feel left out, maybe because they didn't fail to make me feel like I was part of their family—something I hadn't felt in years. Whenever I used to eat with Daddy, I felt like I shouldn't be there, as if I was forcing myself to squeeze into their family. When Mommy eats with me, I always feel like something is missing. That's why this feeling is so strange to me. My attention turned to Zachary as he quietly served me, filling my plate with rice and spooning a bowl before placing it next to me. Next, he took a ripe mango and then split it; he put both cheeks of the mango on a plastic plate and the seed on his plate.

"Eat now," he said sparingly.

"Thank you," was all I answered.

I joined our colleagues to eat. They occasionally included me in their conversations, to which I politely responded. Although it wasn't quite the same as before, my energy slowly returned as my emotions gradually improved.

"Do you want to tour around?" Zachary broke the silence.

"Aren't you going to help them?" I asked again.

His colleagues are back in their respective positions—a different tree is being harvested—while we are here in the seat he prepared this morning.

"I said goodbye to Mang Pidong and said that I would go with you first," he replied.

"I'm not in the mood to walk. Just go there," I said.

I expected him to obey what I said since he got to his feet, so I was taken back when he sat down slowly in front of me. "Get on my back. I'll carry you."

I didn't act immediately. I just stared at his muscular back, wondering why he had to do these things. I caught my breath when he turned to me and took my hands without saying anything. He pulled it towards his shoulders, causing my whole body to follow. I would have protested, but he quickly lifted me up at the same time as my two legs tightened around his hips.

"Zachary!" I called.

He let out a laugh. "Don't be silly, or you might fall," he warned as he started to walk.

"Fvck you," I said cheaply.

"Tonight," he said, then laughed loudly.

My cheeks quickly warmed up because I understood what he was talking about. Unintentionally, I pulled his hair and bit him on the shoulder, which made him scream in pain. I made sure that my teeth were firmly buried beneath his skin.

"Damn, baby," he murmured when he composed himself.

I just rolled my eyes and adjusted the wrapping of my hand around his neck. I let him do what he wants to do; after all, I can't do anything when he's determined on something. I just felt the wind hitting my face and focused my eyes on what we were passing.

"Is that a swan?" I asked when an animal caught my attention.

Zachary laughed. "No, baby. It's a duck."

"Why are you laughing?" I asked with a frown, slightly annoyed.

"Because you're so innocent," he said softly.

I scoffed. "Don't fool me. You're thinking that I'm stupid, right?"

"Oh, please, don't bite me again," he said; it was as if he was preventing me from doing that. "I already told you, I laughed because you're too cute in my mind."

"Cute my ass," I said sarcastically.

"Yeah. Your ass is cut—Fvck!" he cursed out loud when I bit him on his shoulder for the second time.

"Pervert!" I hissed.

He groaned. "I'm just telling the truth."

"And when have you been honest?" I said impatiently.

He tsked. "You talk like I'm the most lying person in the world."

"Oh, you're not?" I acted surprised.

I felt his grip on my leg tighten before he turned to me, causing me to stop at the close distance of our faces. I swallowed hard while looking into his serious eyes. He didn't say anything; he just stared at me as if he were digging into my soul. Later, his gaze fell on my lips, and his eyes snarled.

"Do you want to see the waterfall here?" he asked softly.

I didn't immediately respond. It seemed that in an instant, everything became heavy. He turned his eyes back to where he was walking and started walking slowly again.

"Why are you not fighting with me anymore?" I couldn't help but say after a few minutes.

A small smile escaped his lips. "Because it hurts me to argue with you," he whispered, loud enough for me to hear.

Maybe because I noticed the pain and heaviness in his voice, I couldn't help but feel guilty. I know he didn't deserve my sympathy, but I still found myself affected despite knowing that he was merely entangling me in his shows. The tour continued as we both fell into silence.

It was six o'clock when we got home. Even though I didn't do anything, I felt so tired. I don't know if it was because of the trip or because of my thoughts during the day. I collapsed on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Zachary was still outside organizing the fruits and vegetables we had brought. I felt Angel move to my side, but I couldn't even pay an attention to her.

I slowly closed my eyes to take a nap, but I quickly woke up when my cellphone rang in my pocket. Even though I didn't get it and saw it, I knew it was Aireen, which is why I slowly got up to answer her call.

"Hmmm?" I greeted.

"You seem tired," she commented. "Anyway, I have sent the details of the case to your email," she added.

"Okay, thanks. Pick me up here tomorrow morning," I said.

"Will your acting husband send you away?" Even though I couldn't see her, I knew she was grimacing.

"Just pick me up. Alright, I'll rest. I'll see you tomorrow," I bid goodbye.

"Copy. Rest well." Then she ended the call.

I let out a sigh before getting out of bed. I looked for Zachary's laptop and turned it on when I found it. I don't have to ask for his permission because, besides the fact that I will be able to interrupt what he is doing outside, I also know that he will let me use it.

I went back to the bed and sat there with the laptop on my lap. I logged into my email and went through the attachments that Aireen sent me one by one. I didn't miss a single word about my father's case.

"Angel," I gently called when she climbed onto my lap.

I massaged my temples when, instead of leaving, she ran to the keyboard and touchpad of the laptop, causing my open browser to end up.

"You silly cat," I said with a small smile on my lips. "Promise after this Mommy will play with you, so behave first. Okay?" I continued talking to her.

I picked her up and placed her on my side, then focused my eyes on the screen again. Because of what Angel did, I ended up in Zachary's document files. I was about to close it when something caught my eye.

Rodriguez

The folder name is so simple, but I don't know why my heart is racing with nervousness. I stared at it for a few seconds, wondering if I should open it or not. In the end, I pressed it, but my brows furrowed when I realized it required a password.

Why does he even need to secure this file?

I was taken back when the door unexpectedly opened. Zachary's eyes caught mine as I swiftly closed the laptop. He fixed his focus on me before turning it to the gadget that was resting on my lap. His forehead began to wrinkle gradually, which terrified me to death.

"I-I... borrowed your laptop," I couldn't help stuttering.

He frowned even more, and later on he let out a chuckle. "Why do you look so nervous? You can use all my things whenever you want."

I secretly swallowed and adjusted my seat. "Thanks," I said curtly.

He finally entered our room and walked towards the cabinet, searching his clothes. "Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat or drink?" He looked at me for a moment.

"Orange juice," I replied sparingly and watched his actions.

When he turned his attention back to the cabinet, I carefully opened his laptop and quickly closed the document that was open on the screen. I opened another browser so that if he tries to peek at what I'm doing, he won't see anything unusual. I was relieved to be able to do all that without him noticing or suspecting.

"Okay. I'll just take a quick bath and bring it up here later."

I just nodded in response and watched him leave the room. When I was sure he was gone, I quickly took out my cell phone and called Aireen. It was only a few seconds before she immediately answered.

"Oh? I thought you're going to res—"

"Can you crack a secured folder for me?" I cut her off.

She was silent for a moment. "A laptop file?" she was curious.

"Yeah. I'll bring it tomorrow."

"Okay. I can do it. But... do I know what this is all about? You seem invested in that one," she commented.

"I still don't know, but I think I'll find an answer in the folder," I answered and looked at the door, making sure Zachary wouldn't catch me like earlier.

"Answer for what?"

I heaved a deep breath and stared at the unnamed browser on the laptop's screen. "An answer related to his actions . . ." I murmured.