Chapter 14: Chapter 14
“Are you okay?”
I was so engrossed in the dreadful thoughts of where this web of lies and deceit will take us, pondering what lies at the end of this tunnel, so lost in the uncertainties that I didn’t realize how and when Liam got up from the bed and strode to me. And now, I just snapped back to reality, only to find my shoulders caged in his warm arms, his eyes searching my face.
They say that in everything, prevention is always better than cure, right? But we didn’t even try to forbid things from happening between us—things that should not have happened to start with. And now, I do not see them stopping anytime soon. I mean, he has the guts to come to my room even when his wife is around. Even after his wife’s warning this morning, he seems so gullible about the dangers that his actions are posing. So, does this mean that doom is inevitable for us?
With all the gentleness I can amass, I pull myself away from his hold, taking a step back, and he cocks his head to the side as if pleading with me not to walk away from him. Or perhaps pleading for something more. His gaze is stern and a bit raw, but it also holds this vulnerability that is so alluring, as if tantalizing me into understanding their plea. But then, I do not want to harbor this anymore. I do not want to drag myself into a burning fire that will consume me to death. I know that he rescued me from the edge of death that I had wished for, but I no longer want to die. Not anymore. I want to live. I am so determined to live, and that too for the pressing reasons that I cannot tell, or perhaps I simply don’t want to admit to. I just feel a sudden surge of the will to live, and that I will do.
“Lynn? What’s…wrong?” He queries with a gentle, hoarse voice, dipping his hands in his khaki shorts and taking a step forward. A dangerous move, to which I raise a hand to stop him from taking another one. Gladly, he submits to my gesture and halts his steps, sending a tinge of conflicting heat my way.
This is how much he affects me. This is how deeply I am invested in him—craving him when I shouldn't. cravings that I am trying so hard to battle. I'm yearning for him in a way I shouldn’t.
I swallow hard, and that pestiferous voice from my inner self screeches at me again, asking me if I can handle this and what is yet to come. If I am ready for the formidable uncertainties lying ahead.
Well, I presumably am ready, because I want to believe that if he agrees to clear things up, maintain this distance, and respect the boundaries that his wife has set for us, then I can take care of my heart and desires. It might be the way he showed up in my life again that is causing all these conflicting waves. We had a steamy encounter and allowed our emotions to drive us, but that has to stop now.
Bitter sigh! Very bitter sigh!
“Please talk to me, Lynn. What is the problem?” Liam pleads again.
“You, Liam!” I murmur gently. I meant to howl, but I don’t know what kind of spell hooked my fury in my throat.
“Would you please explain what I did wrong?” He responds gently, wearing a clear, innocent look as if he is the saint of saints.
“What are you concealing from me?” That alone is enough to summon his curiosity, banking all his attention on me. Actually, more curiosity than attention And I get the feeling that my instincts are right. There is more to this than just his desire for this baby. The way he is browsing my eyes The way his face is darkening with confusion...
“I don’t understand.” He lies. The lies hang heavily in his eyes. I don’t even need to study them to know that he is lying.
“Oh, you do, Liam! You fucking know what I am saying, so don’t make me angry. What exactly the heck is it that you want from me?” I fume, and he is taken aback. Maybe the redness on my cheeks is scaring him away. I can feel the heat intensifying as I dig through his orbs, daring him to lie to me.
He takes a long blink and peels his eyes off after a minute, fixing them on my face but obviating my gaze at all costs. And with his actions, I can already surmise what is about to come out of his mouth—another lie! He would be staring deep into my eyes if he wasn't just about to lie.
“I already told you, Lynn! To save myself and my family’s business, I need a child. That is…”
“I know that part.” I cut him off, closing the gap that I didn’t want him to seal earlier. I rack my brains before him, searching his eyes until I find them. “What I want to know is the part that you hid from me—the fact that your own wife does not want to bear you kids.” He shuts his eyes at that. But not for long. When he peels them again, they exude nothing but pain. The weight of the dark, stinging secret he is keeping from me weighs so heavily on them, making him extremely vulnerable. I feel a wave of shudder cut through my spine as I stare back at him while I try to weigh the intensity of this. How heavy are the burdens this guy is caring for? Why am I feeling fear and the desire to know his pain at the same time?
“What else did she tell you?” He anxiously implores, his orbs diving into mine.
He is worried about how much I know. So, there is more, I suppose? Gosh! How deep is this quagmire again?
“Nothing else more aside from warnings and threats. Now, Liam, I am more involved in this than I would have imagined. Perhaps even more than I would have wanted. I deserve to know the truth.” I speak, and he takes a deep breath, scraping the back of his head.
“I told you that our situation is complicated, Lynn. You are better off not knowing more than you already do.” He heaves gently in a pleading tone, perhaps begging me to stop pushing this button, but I know better than to leave things the way they are.
I know things are way too heated between them. I also know that this is a top-notch marital liaison that I shouldn’t be snooping about. Talk about boundaries that Mitchell just warned me about, right? But how am I supposed to play dumb when I seem to be at the center of it all? How can I quell my curiosity when I already know that there are some secrets surrounding this whole surrogacy mystery?
“No, Liam.” I contend, not even shaking as he stares back in pity or whatever his looks depict. “I am sorry if I am asking too much, but I think I deserve to know the truth. I need to know everything that this entails. For the sake of the baby that we are going to bring into this home, I need to know every single thing. So start talking, Liam.” I state this, earning a deep sigh from him.
He looks tense all of a sudden. His hands reach for my shoulders, and this time I don’t resist. I don’t move an inch. I feel his hands tremble as he squeezes my shoulders, perhaps letting me know that this is presumably something I wouldn’t wish to know. Or is it?
“I will tell you all you need to know. But please promise me, Lynn, that you won’t change your mind after this. That we will still push through with our agreement.” He pleads, reading my eyes one after another, while I tremble with every word that leaves his mouth.
Without thinking, I find myself submitting to his dominant eyes. My head shifts in a nod motion, relieving some tension from him. Unfortunately, it’s like he transferred all his tension to me because I am literally shaking. Even he sensed that, which is why he is supporting my shoulders.
“Are you alright?” He implores after noting my shakes escalating.
I can't help it, you know! I feel like a bomb is about to blow up. I am scared and dead itching for what I am about to find out, and I can’t tell exactly why. Maybe he was right. I was better off knowing nothing. But no! It’s better this way so that I won’t encounter surprises ahead of this journey. Things should be cleared up this early.
I compose myself, taking a deep breath.
“Iam. Let it all out—every single detail I need to know.” I say, trying so hard not to permit my fears to surge out. I hope I am doing a better job, though.
“Please, come.” He speaks, holding my hand and leading me to the bed. And with his aid still, I crouch on the bed, and he takes his place beside me, his hand resting on my thigh as we rock our eyes. I am heavily pregnant with anticipation of what he has to reveal, hoping that the truth does not crush me, and he is perhaps gauging where exactly to start.
How many secrets does he have? And how deep are they?