Chapter 31: Chapter 31

Chapter twenty nine.

Zack's POV.

It is deep in the night when I wake up, nothing in sight so I turn on the bed lamp to the side of me. Due to the rain that fell at dusk, the whether is dull and dark clouds are hovering in the sky, giving the moon no space to shine down, nor does any stars come out.

I roll off of bed, and walk out of my room. I remember the night before when I got home, meeting Susan in the living room with all-teeth smile, she looked very happy. I knew there's some good news. She revealed to me that her company is promoting her, and she had gotten the chance to model in the new film, also she will be the female lead. It was such a huge celebration, and with me, having more percentage of assurance at getting my job, we popped Champagne.

I wanted to call James to come home, but he hadn't even replied to my earlier message, and he hadn't reacted to my calls. He is ignoring me when I should be the one doing that.

Anyway, I do not want yesterday's pain to stick up my ass again, so I let out a sigh, and go to the kitchen. In there, I grab a cup of ice cream from the fridge. On turning to my behind, I find James at the worktop, gazing over at me.

I am short of words after gasping. Damn, he looks hot. He is shirtless, which just makes it an impossibility to look away from him. The lines of his hard body makes it hard for me to look away. Finally, I snatch my orbs off of him, and place them to the ice cream.

He can't come in here now, and expect to capture me by his half nakedness. It is so rude. I want to walk past him, and back to my room when he pulls my arm, shoving me back. The spark is back, and I feel the air charged by his body near mine. His taller-than-mine frame is towering over mine. It is unfair. Everything about him is unfair.

"I'm sorry."

"You know two words don't justify my missed calls, and messages," though, it was one message, so I guess I should said "message". "I called you again at night, you didn't pick up. Well, Susan and I are doing well, if that's what you've came for," which I believe he has came from, even though I don't believe myself for believing that.

"I'm sorry again. I didn't mean to stress. I just had to solve something."

"Don't you have to always solve something? Something you won't, or can't explain, I don't even want to know. Just let me be, please, James." He should really just let me be.

I want to walk away again, but he wouldn't let me. If I get the mind, I would hurl this ice cream at him. I wonder how much of a trash it will do on him.

"Why are you smiling?" I'm smiling? Oh, God, no, this gives me away completely. He will know that I'm not as angry as I look. Even having seen him alright, I am alright and okay. The past is now in the past. He's someone I'd forgive so easily.

"Just let me..." I can't keep up with the stern face anymore, so I just let it go, maybe pleading with him to see reasons will make him tell me things. "You know what, I just want to know what's bothering you. You know we share a relationship, at least we have something together, or maybe I'm the one thinking that?" It came out as a question. "Whichever, I know that you wouldn't want to hurt me or anything, so please, just let out to me."

He is speechless when I finish talking. He looks like I'm forcing him or something, so I stop.

I don't say anything further, but take one step backwards. I rethink inside my head. He has the choice, he tells himself what he what he wants. I know that whatever might be bothering isn't something unspeakable, he is the one who chooses to keep it in.

I look down to the ice cream, and know that I can't drink it anymore. I go to the basin, not looking at James. He is still in silence, perhaps reeling in his imaginations.

I pour the ice cream away, and wash the plate. "Why'd you do that?"

I will not talk, so I just put the bowl back to where it's supposed to be. Then, my legs take me to the other side of the worktop. Since he is at one side, his large frame, blocking me, I'll just pass through another route.

"Are you now going deaf?" He sounds angry. I still will ignore him. If keeping things to himself will his choice, then mine will be ignoring him. "Will you not talk?"

As I want to emerge from the kitchen, he pulls me back, his hard chest pressing against my back as he has moved me backwards such that I hit his body.

"Zack..."

I turn to look at him. Oh, God, that painful look. I can't take it. I have to leave if I'm to punish him the way I wanted to.

"Let me be." I have no choice than to talk.

"You'll walk out on me for keeping to myself?"

"If it's worth it." Is all I say, before wanting to turn, but then, he still manages to keep me close. I turn my gaze downwards. I don't want to look him in the eye.

"That is so selfish of you."

Wow, speaking of the selfishness itself...I will be a subject here? I should laugh right now.

"When I needed you, I called but you won't pick, because you were doing something. I figured you still must have much to do, so you can go and do them. I will not hold you for anything. I guess I just have to learn how to be on my own. I don't want to get hurt based on your absence anymore." This time, as I say, I look at his face, my eyes not blinking so I can make him know that I mean this from mind and heart. He really hurt me.

"You have a jumbled past, James. I have one too, but yours seems to surpass me. Heal yourself first." He let me go, and thanks to the Almighty, I am able to walk out to the living room.

"You're chasing me out of your house, aren't you?"

I don't talk. I am tired and need my sleep. "I should go and sleep." I say, and catching his gaze, he has his eyes squinting, narrowing at me.

"Fine." Is what he state next, before then, he walks off. I watch as he walks into the door, leading to the guest room. What is he doing?

By the time he walks out, he has a coat draped over his shoulder. He gives me a nod, and walks to the front door. He is leaving for real. Where will he go? Will he be returning to the town now? That can't be.

Maybe he's gotten a place to sleep? It is so strange to want him to leave, and when he wants to, I want him to stay yet again. It is so strange.

At the threshold, he holds on, and looks only sideway, not enough for him to catch my frame. In the next ticking minute, he has walked away.

As the door closes, I find myself breaking down. I never knew he'd affect me this much. We have only kissed, Zack. Even apart from that, you have so much to do with your life. You shouldn't let this man take away your night. Oh, God, I only wish if he was only a man to me, nothing more. Absolutely nothing more than that. He is much more, on the contrary.

I take a seat on the two-seater couch, letting my own vivid, bizarre thought to guide me.