Chapter 79: Chapter 79

A heavily pregnant woman = all forms of insecurities raised to infinity.

I grimace as I pass the full-length mirror on my way out of the room. I feel and look like a cow, maybe a whale is better suited to how I look. I used to walk sprightly before, but now putting one leg in front of the other takes serious effort, and I'm only six months gone.

These days, it takes a lot of effort to do anything, if I can be honest. I can't even bend to wash my feet during bath time. Ever since he was discharged from the hospital, Ash takes pity on me and gives me a bath seeing how it's difficult for me to help myself.

As I walk down the stairs, Clarissa sees me and gifts me with a wide smile. "There she is - the most beautiful pregnant woman in all of Los Angeles."

I smile, but I know it looks more like a grimace.

"Oh, don't look so glum, pretty sure Ash can't take his eyes, and hands off you because - damn, girl, you're glowing."

If I never told you my best friend was sweet, well. . . now's a good time to do so. "You're so sweet telling me those words when you know I look like a big fat fish." I get to her and groan as she helps me into a chair. At this point, I'm a sweaty mess. "I'm telling you, Clar, Ash doesn't even touch me anymore, I bet my big tummy and the weight I've added repulses him."

Clarissa shakes her head as she giggles. "Stop saying stuff like that. You can never repulse Ashor any man at that, look at you - you've got hips for days, then take a look at your skin. It looks like you bath with milk and honey every single day, and if that still doesn't convince you, take a look in the mirror and gaze upon your heart-shaped face. Even an Angel will be wooed with those gorgeous, hazel eyes of yours, and don't let me get started on your boobs, they're humongous now, more flesh for Ash to grab."

I roll my eyes at her words. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're hitting on me."

"No, thanks dear, I'm a pure breed, I like men and I can't hide it."

As if on cue, Night Eyes walks inside the sitting room, gives me a wave, and heads straight for Clarissa. He bends down and whispers something inside her ear, and she in turn throws her head back, baring her neck and laughing out loud. Night Eyes takes this opportunity to place his mouth against her throat and peppers kisses down the length of it.

I'm honestly shocked they're still together because Clarissa is a lot to handle. The only reason must be that Night Eyes has a lot of charm because it's been six months and they're still going strong.

Clarissa lets out a moan and I throw my face away because let's face it - I'm jealous. This was me and Ash before I got pregnant. He could not keep his hands off me, neither did I want him to. We'd barely been holding on after my pregnancy, and then his mad twin came along and things took a real nose dive sexually since then. Ever since his death, Ash hasn't been the same. He's more quiet than usual, preferring to sit alone in his office.

After he was discharged from the hospital, he hasn't even stepped foot out of the house. It's like the man I once knew - the one who exudes sex appeal and couldn't keep his hands off me - is gone. I honestly don't know how to feel about all of this.

I somehow think he silently blames me for shooting his twin. He hasn't come out to say it outrightly, but it's in the stares he gives me and his retorts when I broach the subject to ask how he feels about his twins' death. I just want the Ash I knew back. I crave his touch and his companionship. All I get from him these days is zero silence, and that says a lot.

Suddenly, I'm scared.

Does he not like me anymore? Does he not find me attractive because of our daughter? Will I wake up one morning only for him to coldly tell me we're not working out again and I should leave his house? What will happen to me then - to our baby? Worse still, where will I go?

"Alicia!"

I blink repeatedly, only to see Clarissa standing in front of me with an amused look on her face. I blink once more and look around. "Where's Night eyes?"

"He's gone, and I've been standing here trying to get your attention for almost sixty seconds."

I huff and shake my head, holding out my hand for her to help me up. "Wait till you're in my shoes, I'll remind you then."

We make our way out of the sitting room with Clarissa's tinkling laughter trailing me. "There's no chance in hell that'll ever happen."

It's not until we're out of the house and making our way toward the gate that it dawns on me. No armed guards stand around waiting to ask me where I'm going, neither is there anyone stopping us. While that brings a great sense of relief and normalcy back into my life, I can't help but experience the feeling of dread slinking down my spine as we step out through the gate. Yes! Mad hatter is dead and buried - Ash had him buried in the cemetery - but I just can't help but feel that something isn't right.

"Alright, spill it," Clarissa says, turning to me. "I know that look, so what are you concocting in that pretty head of yours?"

"I. . . " tears sting my eyes and I try to force them back, but Clarissa notices and takes my face in her hands.

"Hey, hey, it's alright, whatever it is, I'm here and we'll get through this together."

I nod and clean my eyes with the back of my hand as I lean on her. "I'm scared, Clar, I'm scared I'm going to wake up one morning and find out all this is a dream and I'm still in that dingy apartment and Tanya is -"

"Wait! We can't change what has happened, Lis, we've got to look to the future. Tanya is dead, but I'm still here, and no one's gonna take me away, I assure you."

See, that's the thing about assurances - they're empty - you can't assure someone when you don't even know what will happen in the next second. Only God does. But I sigh and nod my head like what she said made sense.

The walk doesn't take long at all. By the time we've walked a few paces, my feet are screaming for me to ease the weight off them, so I tell Clarissa, and we head right back to the house. She has a date with Night Eyes in the evening so she doesn't come inside with me. She takes a taxi to the school dormitory instead to get ready while I make my way inside the house.

When I get inside the room, Ash is not there. Maybe he's in the clothes room, so I call out his name, but he doesn't reply. Maybe he's in his office. I'm too tired to go in search of him, so I decide to take a shower instead, seeing as I'm all sweaty. I remove my clothes and make my way to the bathroom to take a cool bath.

I'm already inside the bathroom when I see the fog from the steam clouding everywhere. It's too late for me to turn around so I continue toward the shower. I see Ash, head resting against the tiles with his eyes closed. I doubt if he's aware of my presence. I take a few seconds to walk my way down his chiseled body.

Seeing him this way gets me all hot and bothered. It also gets me wet in my nether regions. I slowly walk toward him - alright, I waddle toward him and when I get close, I slide my hands down his rock-hard chest and his eyes open up to slits. The look he gives me is laced with lust.

Keeping eye contact, I reach for his dick which is at full mast and squeeze gently. I swipe my hand across the tip and feel his pre-cum coating my hand. Ash's Adam Apple bobs and he closes his eyes. Urged on by this, I move lower to his balls, and just as I'm about to sink to my knees to take him inside my mouth, his hand lands on mine, stopping me.

I look up at him, making sure to show my frustration, but all he does is turn around and back me. I know when I'm not wanted, so with tears in my eyes, I take a step out of the shower when his hand lands on mine, stopping me. He turns me around and the next thing he does makes me think he's bipolar.

He sinks to one knee, looks up at me, and opens up a box from which a ring sits inside. "Will you marry me?"