Chapter 23: Chapter 23

Chapter 23

ALICIA

I like to think of myself as an attractive young woman, one who's kind and blushes at the very idea of dirtying her reputation. I've always been a prim and proper lady with a sense of modesty. I've never used 'fuck' when talking.

All that stops today as I stare at the man that has continuously plagued my dreams.

Swear words dance on the tip of my tongue, ready to be let loose. Blood rushes to my head as Ash walks closer to me. My eyes zone in on his hand which is clasping the hand of the woman beside him. A woman that isn't me. I expect him to speak to me or to make a snide remark about why I'm just standing and staring at them.

What I don't expect is the reaction I get.

He walks past me like I'm air.

Like I don't exist.

Like I'm nothing.

The woman gives me a curious look and tightens her hold on Ash's hand. They pass me, and his cologne wafts into my nostrils. That woodsy, minty smell I've gotten accustomed to. It tickles my nostrils and reminds me of the times we had together.

The times he was inside of me.

"Baby, how did you know I love seafood?" The woman's shrill voice filters over to where I'm still standing and staring like a bloody frozen icicle.

She says something else I can't hear but it does something to Ash because his head drops back. His laughter is a weapon of mass seduction and I'm its biggest target. It's rough and unpracticed and makes a tingle shoot down my spine. It does something else to me. That green-headed monster begins to rear its ugly head and there's little or nothing I can do to stop it.

He's never laughed with me the way he's doing with this floozy. So carefree and with total abandon. I turn round and make to walk towards them when a hand lands on my shoulder. I stifle the irritation rising in my chest and turn back around to see a waiter with a deep crease on his forehead. "Ma'am, I'm sorry but this is a private area and you're trespassing."

I'm trespassing?

I'll show him trespassing.

Just as I open my mouth to kick up a storm, my breath is stripped from me as a hand covers my mouth and I'm lifted off the ground and carried out. I struggle, but it's futile. The grip around my mid-riff is strong and unrelenting. It's not until we're well away from that room that I'm placed back on the ground.

Even as I'm reaching out to steady myself with one hand against the wall, I turn round and lash out. "How dare you carry me off like some caveman?" My chest heaves with unleashed anger. Leonard looks stricken with remorse but doesn't say anything. "Cat got your tongue? I demand you answer me this instance."

He rubs a hand down his face. "You really want to know why I never came last week Tuesday?"

I roll my eyes and fold my hands against my chest. Fancy him wanting to talk about that now.

"I know about you and Mr. Ash." His eyes bounce around looking at every other thing but at me.

What the fuck does he mean by that?

I stare hard at him but he's still not able to look at me. My mind goes blank, and then like a laptop, it begins to boot. The gears in my head begin to turn and shift, until. . . .

"You're fucking kidding me!" I back away from him. "You were there the whole time? You. . . you saw us?"

This time, he looks at me and shrugs, his face still stricken with remorse. "I couldn't not. You were screaming fuck me with your tongue, so loud. It was enough to wake the dead."

I've never been violent in my entire life. I've never felt the need to solve incidences with force. I'd rather be the peacemaker by giving a lecture instead. All that stops now as I take two steps forward and strike him in the face. It's so hard, his head rocks to the side. I can clearly see the mark of my anger on his face. I wish to do it again, why, my hand shakes with the effort of keeping it by my side, but I know that I'll be pushing it with another slap. I don't wait after that, I walk off amidst frantic calls from him.

All I can think of as I break into a run is that he watched while Ash made love, I mean. . . fucked me. I'm so mortified I can't think clearly. I run out of the restaurant and hail the first cab I see, rattling off my address once I settle in the back seat. It's not until we're well away from the restaurant I realize my face is wet with tears. As soon as I step inside the house, I know Tanya isn't home.

The first thing I do is rip out the pins holding the chignon in place. Next is the dress I'm wearing. It has a zipper at the back but in my haste to get it off me, it catches on my hair. I'm too angry, too worked up to care if I salvage it or not. When I hear it tear, I feel a certain satisfaction but it's not enough. My agitation is too raw and too sore to be quieted that easily. I shrug out of the dress and tug on the first thing my hands touch.

I grab all the money from my purse and tuck it into the pocket of whatever it is I'm wearing. I take one long look at the apartment before locking up and walking out.

*

I stand amongst the trees near the house and wait. It doesn't take up to two minutes before a car comes up the driveway. Ash and the floozy come down. It gives me a sweet satisfaction to see they're not holding hands. I have to talk to Ash. I can't allow him to sleep with her.

I know he won't take kindly to my interruptions but. . . I have to try.

I watch as he exchanges some words with the guards before he takes a hold of the floozy's hand once again and leads her inside his house. Anger lances through me, hot and fast. I can't wait any longer. I won't wait. I surge forward, but before I can get within ten feet of the door, the guards slink out from hidden shadows and stop me.

I put my hands up, all the while explaining to them how urgent I need to see Ash. One of them calls someone inside the house using a walkie-talkie. I don't know what the person tells him but he nods and moves aside for me to enter. As soon as I step through the door, a man intercepts me. He does a sweep of me from my feet to my head, and then he does it again from my face down, then he smirks.

I hate how he's looking at me but I jut out my chin and look at him as well. He's got a long scar directly below his left eye and his right hand is bandaged. After he satisfies himself by looking at me, he tells me to stay put until he gets word from Ash after which he disappears and leaves me standing alone.

It doesn't take up to a few minutes when he comes back and leads me into the main sitting room. There, I see Ash and the floozy. Seeing them both still fully clothed makes me realize I've come at the right time. The man with the scar slinks away, leaving me with a pit of nervousness inside my stomach.

Ash lifts a brow, waiting for me to say something but the floozy is already standing and walking towards him. "Who is she and what is she doing here?"

Ash says nothing except to stare at me. He lets out a loud yawn, and that's when I see the lines around his eyes. Lines that weren't there last week. "Well, you heard her, what do you want?"

His voice, though rough, sends a thrill down my spine. I lick my suddenly dry lips and dart my eyes around. I can't look at him. If I do, I probably won't say what I came here for. "Please, can I talk to you. . . " I turn defiant eyes to look at the woman. "Alone?"

He says nothing for a few seconds. I know he's going to tell me off, or worse still, send me away, so I mentally prepare my counterargument.

I see him nod before he calls out. "Capo!" The man who led me in reappears, and Ash tells him to take the woman home. She tries to argue, but I'm shocked when he turns cold eyes on her. "Get out!"

The floozy almost shrinks. "But-"

"Did I stutter?" His eyes are cold and unyielding, making the floozy drop her head. Without another word, she walks out with the man following on her heels.

I don't realize he's behind me until his voice is near my ear. "She's gone. Now, what do you want?"

I know he's angry but I can take it. I can take whatever he's going to dish out to me. I just need to tell him how I feel first. "I. . . I haven't heard from you all this while and when I saw you this night, it's just. . ." I take a deep breath. "I guess I missed you." I finish, shrugging.

He doesn't say anything for a while. Instead, I feel the roughness of his palm as he takes my hand and leads me to the stairs. When we get into his room, he lets go and faces me, offering a slight shrug in the process. "You want to play around for a bit?"

"Yes!" I answer instantly, not stopping to think what that might mean until he smirks at me.

There's a slight sinister pull to it, like a predator spotting prey in the jungle. I try to squelch the flare of anxiety as he pulls me away from the door and over to the bed. I run my hands down his chest, reaching for the buttons on his jeans, but he grasps my wrist. "Uh-uh, did I tell you to do that?"

"You didn't tell me not to."

He pulls my hands away and leans down. "Don't!"

The lone word is little more than warm breath against my skin, fanning the flames of my desire, kindling the fire deep inside of me. I exhale shakily but before I can speak, he shoves me away from him and spins me around. I gasp as he picks me up and throws me on the bed on my stomach, straddling my legs and pinning me there.

"Wait!" I say. My heart is racing with sudden fear. His weight is pressing me as I hear something rip. I can't see what it is but I can feel my panties being pulled down. "Wait just a second, Ash."

"I don't have a pause button, sweetheart." His voice is chilling, a sense of detachment to it. "If you don't want to play, you can always tell me to stop. All you have to do is say it."

Of course, I don't say it because I want this. I want to feel his touch, however rough it is. I want to feel him inside of me, to have him consume me, to be the air he breathes and the only thing he needs.

My head is foggy and his body is constricting, his weight welcoming as he presses upon me, one hand heavy on the center of my back as I hear him fumble with his belt buckle with the other. I try to look, try to see, my cheek flat against the bed as I crane my neck to get just a peek, but it's barely a glimpse, a flash of dark tee in the dim lighting.

He doesn't undress, doesn't even take off his boots, merely unbuckles his pants to free himself from his restraints. He's between my legs, forcing them apart and shoving against me, pushing roughly inside of me. I cry out as he fills me, stretching me to form around him. It doesn't hurt, my body reacting the second he laid a finger on me.

"Fuck, you're so wet, " he says laying down on me, his jeans rubbing against my bare back. The buttons are cold against it. "You like it like this, don't you?" He thrusts a few times, hard, and I bite down on my bottom lip to keep from crying out, but he doesn't accept my silence. "I asked you a question." He growls.

"Yes," I gasp, closing my eyes. "I love it."

"I know you do." His voice is a lust-fueled murmur in my ear as he snakes an arm around my stomach, slipping below, his fingers seeking out my clit as his strong arm forces me back against him tighter, angling my ass so he can pound into me deeper. "You're a little rag doll, aren't you? You want to be tossed around, you want me to use you any way I see fit. Because you know. . . you fucking know. . ." He thrusts so hard, pain stabs my stomach. "You're my favorite toy."

I shouldn't find his words as hot as I do, but they spark something inside of me, tingles engulfing my entire body, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. It's emotional, an overwhelming honesty that I can't restrain tumbling from my lips. "I want to be."

"You are," he says stroking my clit as he fucks me harder. . . and harder. . . and harder, with each thrust of his hips. "I knew it the first time I saw your pouty lips and those wide innocent eyes. It was so wrong, fuck, it was so wrong of me to want it, to want you, but I couldn't resist." His voice is strained, the words coming out like breathless panting. "I thought I could play with you a bit and let you go, but once I had you, hazel eyes, I couldn't walk away."

"Then don't," I whisper, not sure if it's loud enough for him to even hear.

He squeezes me tighter to him, stroking my clit, fucking me deeper as he whispers back in my ear. "I won't," he says. "You're mine now."

His fingers work magic and I come apart locked in his embrace, captive beneath him. I've never felt so free before as I do at this moment when the pleasure sweeps through me, taking every speck of anxiety, every worry and insecurity I've ever had and wiping them away. He bottoms me out and then makes me whole, feeling me with everything he says and does, making me feel what he believes.

Beautiful.

Special.

His.

He says nothing else, letting the orgasm wash over me and fade before the switch in him flips again. All at once, he turns from man to beast, pawing me, clawing me, ravaging every inch of my body that he can reach. He fucks me so mercilessly to the point I can't think. I can't do anything but take it, absorb the impact, my voice nothing but incoherent noises conjured from animalistic feats.

The words are there the entire time; stop is on the tip of my tongue, so close to springing forward whenever he gets so rough I can't breathe, but I swallow it back again and again with a gasp of air. I don't want him to stop, I don't want him to slow down. I don't want him to restrain himself with me.

I want everything he'll give me.

As he pounds inside me, I think maybe it's what's inside that's heaviest. He's purging his soul. As scary as I think the deepest part of him might be, I want it all. I want to see it.

He pulls out to finish and sits there on his knees, catching his breath before moving off of me. I can't move, can do nothing but lay here. My body spent. Flogged. Used.

He's quiet as he sits there, and despite my eyes being closed, I know he's watching me. I can sense his gaze, but after a moment, he reaches over, his touch feather-light as he runs his fingertips along my back. My eyes open but I don't move. I don't want to disrupt what he's doing.

It's soothing.

"What are you doing?" I ask quietly.

"Tracing the future."

I smile to myself. "What does it look like?"

"I'm not sure yet," he replies. "It's still coming together for me."

I manage to turn round and see him looking passive, still fully dressed and tucked away, not at all like someone who just fucked me ruthlessly. He's like a gentle giant, harmless and soft, like a teddy bear.

Except deep down, I know he's not.

When his eyes cut my way and I see the darkness on the surface, I'm reminded that this man is a monster.