Chapter 53: Chapter 53

Zaira's POV

Meanwhile, Illyria still lay on the ground, imprisoned in Arami's translucent bonds. She might not be able to move, but her screams were worse than her punches could ever be. Illyria was acting like a completely deranged woman and I couldn't understand how she could have acted so differently. She lied to us the whole time.

"It's not over yet! Doom is near, Serdas will conquer and destroy you all!" she screamed hysterically and her frantic gaze stopped abruptly when it met me. "The time is not yet right, but soon! Soon Zaira, SOON!"

I flinched as a sudden pang shot through my head. It felt like my skull was being split open, my brain crushed and stabbed countless times. I whimpered and protective arms wrapped around me. I gratefully sucked in Arami's warmth and snuggled closer to him.

"Take her away and lock her in one of the cells and I'll take care of the rest!" Aramis hissed, causing Illyria to disappear from view. His fingers gently stroked my hair. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I was just scared," I allayed his concern as the pain in my head was already fading and barely noticeable. You'd almost think I was making it up.

I gently wriggled out of his arms. "I want to check on Reah," I explained, already searching the hall for her.

He nodded reluctantly and let go of me. I made my way through the crowd to Reah, who just slipped out of Ares' arms and was already wiping away her tears.

"I'm sorry about Illyria..." I whispered and then pulled her into a tight hug.

"It's not your fault," she sniffled, snuggling deeper into my arms.

I could understand a loss like she had just experienced all too well. Even if I hadn't known my parents as long as Reah Illyria, they had been the most important thing in my life. It had hurt like hell to lose her. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of her or missed her. Nonetheless... "It passes. The pain goes away. Maybe not quite, but it won't hurt as much... over time."

We stood like that for minutes until Reah broke free and showed me how strong she was. "So and now it's time to celebrate!"

I stared at her, dumbfounded. "What did you just say?"

"If you think Illyria can make me cry in my room, you've cut yourself." She put her hands on her hips and then smiled - albeit shakily fucking bitch."

"You're absolutely right.", I linked my arm with her and then pulled her past the broken table to the many drinks.

"What would you ladies like?" Isahia asked us, posing as a bartender - self-proclaimed, I might add.

Reah grinned and pointed to the ugly orange broth in the pitcher. "Two glasses, please"

"Interesting choice, I have to say," teased Samatha Reah. She was also standing in front of the bar and leaned casually and elegantly against the counter. She briefly stroked my cheek. Everything okay? Her look seemed to mean .

I smiled and nodded.

"You did well earlier. Like a real Luna."

"Oh, I...uh...." My cheeks burned. "Thanks."

I just managed to suppress a sigh of relief when Reah handed me a goblet of the questionable orange liquid. I quickly steered to another topic "What's in it?"

"The proof of the pudding is in the eating," Reah said as she also grabbed a drink from the table. "Samantha, what too?"

"Of course," she winked at us and smiled as she accepted the copper-colored goblet that Isahia handed her.

„Torsk, Prost."

" Torsk ." I took a small sip, coughing and grimacing as the drink burned down my throat and " Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee but what was that?!"

"The best there is!" Reah boasted and immediately took a second large sip.

"Really now? This is horrible!" I shuddered at the memory.

"Oh come on Zaira, we're having a party tonight!" Reah nudged me with his elbow. "Look around, everyone's drinking this nasty stuff ."

She was really right about that. I frowned and then shrugged.

Oh, what harm can another sip do?

So I downed some more of that broth... and instantly regretted it.

"No, oh God, that's not possible!" I croaked. Why do you please do this to yourself? Just disgusting. "And why on earth do we all celebrate before a war ?"

"Don't look puzzled, they are warriors, fighting is in their nature," Reah lectured me.

Samantha agreed with her, laughing. "You're right. I guess they'd all be offended if they knew you thought they were scared of tomorrow."

"It's not like that," I said sheepishly. "It's just that I've never seen a war, let alone taken part in a war."

Now Samantha's and Reah's brows rose at the same time. "Aramis will let you come tomorrow?" they asked me in one voice, puzzled.

"Of course I'll be there tomorrow, after all I'm a healer werewolf, it would be foolish not to use my powers." I might not have said it so clearly to Aramis, but I was sure that he agreed with me I.

"Darling, I don't think Aramis agrees." Samantha made a tight face. "And to be honest, I'm not so sure if it wouldn't be the most sensible thing for you to stay."

"What?" Hearing that from Samatha surprised me the most. "Why?"

"You're not a warrior," Samantha said, and when I flinched, she quickly added, "Don't get me wrong honey, of course you're a warrior. But not with a bow and arrow or on the battlefield."

"Plus, it would only distract Aramis further if he doesn't know you're safe," Reah added.

I pressed my lips together. I can't believe the two most important women in my life are going against my decision. "I'm not saying that I want to fight with you as a soldier against Serdas and his army. My battlefield is in the sick tent, I will heal our soldiers and warriors."

Reah smiled at my determination while Samantha sighed. "Darling, I think you'd better explain this to your mate than to us."

I snorted. Aramis would understand how important my skills were to the army and that I could help too and not just wait around in the palace uselessly like a lazy princess.

"Now stop making such a bad face and drink a little, it will take your mind off things." Reah complained and pointed to my goblet, which was still in my hand.

"Oh no, without me, this stuff is by far the ugliest thing I've ever drunk." I wrinkled my nose.

"Oh come on sister, I thought we'd do this together." Reah grabbed the mug from the bar and poured herself more. Before she swung it over my goblet, I raised my hand in protest.

"Definitely not," I disagreed, setting my goblet on the counter as far away from me as possible. Even though her doggie stare was kneeling, I still shook my head. Alcohol was absolutely not for me . "

*

Less than a minute later I was sitting next to her on the bench, a new goblet in hand and my throat burning. "Well, thank you," I grumbled defiantly.

Reah and I - Samatha stayed with Isahia at the Baar - sat down on the edge of the hall at a free table, whereby Reah naturally made sure to take the jug with her as well. To my regret.

Ares laughed as he joined our table, as did Aramis, who had also got himself a drink and was now standing right in front of me. "Here, try this."

I tasted his drink suspiciously and then widened my eyes at the pleasurable explosion of taste in my mouth. "Oh, that's not too bad," I said, taking another sip. I gave a woolly shudder. "Much better than that broth from Reah."

"Hey!" she punched my arm. "How mean!"

"I'm just telling the truth," I goaded back, about to wrestle another sip of the delicious drink when Aramis radioed me in.

"That's enough," he demanded, holding out his hand.

"No, why is that?" I clutched the cup to my chest. "I'm not done yet."

He leaned towards me. "If you don't want me to kill everyone who looks at you when you drink from it, you better give them back to me."

"What are you talking about?" I whispered.

"Your glowing face, the little sigh your full lips give, the veiled look." Hunger burned in his green eyes and I blushed. " Pure lust."

"Only you notice that," I replied, but handed him the cup.

"Oh believe me, it doesn't." With that he straightened up again.

"Oh Aramis, what else is she supposed to toast to tomorrow with?" Reah grumbled and pouted.

I laughed and then pushed her lightly. "Don't worry, it's better if I don't try alcohol before a fight anyway . I have to be fit tomorrow. We all have to, by the way ."

"Hey, I'm totally in control."

"We'll see about that. Also, I don't know how alcohol affects my ability and I don't want to risk her not having enough energy tomorrow."

"Oh, that'll be fine. I have thousands of years of experience, remember?" Reah winked at me. "Ask Aramis how we passed our time."

I looked at Aramis invitingly, curious to hear what he had to say, but he didn't take up Reah's insinuation and just kept staring at me. "Why would you need your skills tomorrow?"

"Er... Tomorrow - war?"

"So what?" he asked impassively.

" So what? There will be a lot of injuries and I should be in peak condition so I can heal as many as possible."

He laughed dryly. "Of course you won't."

My mouth opened and closed again. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You will not take part in the war."

"W-Wh... why not?!" I shook my head blankly.

"Uh oh...trouble in paradise." Reah muttered, watching our excited discussion with eagle eyes, all she was missing was a few snaks. If I wasn't so upset, I'd smack her on the forehead .

"You really think I'll let you into the middle of the battlefield?", now he was amused. The corners of his mouth twitched. "Five top soldiers that xenos will blindly trust will protect you while you stay here."

"How dare you?" I jumped up, raw anger seething inside me. "You already planned this all? Without me?"

His eyes flared passionately at my anger, which only enraged me more. I wish I could scratch that grin off his face. "Baby, come here."

"No!" I backed away from his outstretched arms until the wooden bench pressed against my legs.

"Zaira, stop it. He shook his head. "I'm your mate, of course I won't let you into the middle of a war."

I felt the anger rising inside me and the urge to be part of the battle becoming unnaturally strong. Everything in me demanded it and it was precisely this compulsive will that scared me.

That was not me.

I let him pull me towards him and put my hands on his chest. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I don't know what just got into me, I guess I'm a bit off track today." I tried to suppress the compulsive need. Maybe it was my newly awakened powers?

Aramis kissed me before saying, "This isn't over yet, but we have too many viewers."

I nodded against his chest, just enjoying being so close to him. What would tomorrow bring us? would we win Serda's and Hades' army were twice as big as ours. Sure we had Aramis and Ares, but was that enough? I hoped so - very much. The thought of losing Aramis tomorrow.

Oh Gott.

My stomach turned and I pressed even tighter against him. Immediately his arms closed around me, grounding me. No one took it away from me no matter how hard I fought!

The loud voices coming from the corridor distracted me from my thoughts, which were always spinning in circles. At first I couldn't locate them, as the soldiers' chatter and laughter were already loud in their own right. But since we were on the edge of the crowd and thus right next to the entrance, I was able to discover them after listening more closely. I understood every single word and my eyes widened when I saw who they belonged to.

"I didn't say that!" Xenos thundered as they stepped into the hall.

"Oh yes? So I just imagined it all?" Arya's hands were balled into fists and she glared at Xenos. Uh oh, that didn't bode well.

"I was just following the formation of the army!" Xenos said

"And then you want me in the back row!" To this day, I hadn't really understood how temperament Arya actually had, and to my amazement, she didn't even contain it at the fact that she turned it against the Werewolf King.

"Nobody knows how well trained you are, how am I supposed to put you in a different position?!" Xenos yelled, throwing his arms in the air in frustration.

"Heaven! Have you ever heard Xenos talk so much in one day?" Reah exclaimed in complete amazement, her eyes not leaving the two for a second.

I shook my head. "No, absolute premiere."

We all leaned forward and watched the spectacle spellbound.

"I the first arrow of Retani!", she pointed at herself and stared proudly at the dominant wolf. "I belong in the front line."

"Not in this army!" Xenos snarled and stood in front of her. "Not until I've seen you fight myself."

Then Arya hissed at him. She really hissed at him. "Who say that?"

"Me." Xenos approached Arya dangerously close. Anyone who was still halfway would have backed away and submitted to him by now. Nobody wanted to be looked at by such a dominating wolf in that way. Xenos bared his teeth of the werewolves."

"I don't give a damn." Arya protested, arms crossed, not moving an inch. She challenged him so openly and bluntly that I got nervous myself. "You don't be my chief."

Reah nudged me with her elbow. "Oh my gosh, that's so up-" then she stopped abruptly as Xenos leaned forward even further and kissed Arya passionately.

We were all too shocked to have the decency to avert our eyes.

"He really needed that, too." Aramis laughed afterwards and then whistled at the two of them. "Take a room, kindly!"

Both startled apart. Arya's head turned bright red and she looked away in embarrassment while Xenos didn't bat an eyelid.

We raised them ourselves long after it happened and had a great time. The rest of the evening went wonderfully, we chatted and enjoyed the last few hours together that remained in peace and harmony. And even though I tried not to think about the battle ahead, the terrible sickness that gripped my mangen didn't go away.

After some time, as the hall gradually emptied, we all said goodbye and made our way to our bedrooms. Except for Aramis, who sent me ahead and went to the dungeon himself to complete Illyria's punishment. The measures were tough, but we had to prevent them from betraying us a second time.

I stood in front of the window in Arami's room. The clouds looked mystical, floating in the midnight black sky, which was showered with twinkling stars. And while the sight was beautiful, and usually made my heart smile, it left me cold now. The feeling of not taking part in the war and helping all the packs and gi peoples was overwhelming. Also came the intense urge within me to defy Arami's command. I caught his scent before he walked into the room. "You must allow me to go into battle tomorrow."

Aramis closed the door behind him and sighed. "I understand you Zaira and I know how valuable your powers are. It's not my intention to suppress them and not allow you to need them." He had crossed the room and was now standing behind me. "I want you to learn more about your abilities, but just not tomorrow."

"I would never forgive myself if I didn't help," I said, turning around.

He spread his arms irritably. "What do you expect from me Zaira, hmm? That I willingly take you with me? That I feed you to Serdas? Because I would if I let you come with me."

"Yes, I do," I stated, knowing what a big request I was making to him. But no matter what was inside me that was irrevocably pulling me into war - whether it was my new powers, the healer werewolf, that showed itself - , it didn't matter. I had to go there. I just had to.

"No," he growled, pinning me against the back wall of the room, blocking any escape routes with his arms. "I won't let that happen."

"I didn't ask you," I whispered, almost unable to look into his eyes as I did this to him. But it was my powers, I would never let myself be undermined, would never be at mine again Worth doubting and if I already had these skills, I could also use them.

"And I said no ," he growled.

“How could I have powers and then not use them? Surely the gods have prepared this gift for me to make use of."

"I don't give a fuck. You're going to stay here, that's that!" , he was terribly angry.

"So you want to lock me up then?" my voice was thin. If he did that, he would destroy part of our bond forever and he knew it. "I would do anything to break out."

He stared at me silently, but there was a whirlwind in his eyes. "Are you doing this to me? Are you doing this to us ?"

I held back the tears that were pooling in my eyes. "I have to, please understand! I finally want to be free. Blake buried and smothered me for so long, my powers didn't erupt because I felt so worthless and useless. He kept me locked up even after you killed him. His voice was constantly in my head, telling me I was nothing but filth." I saw the wordless anger on his face, but he didn't interrupt me. "But I don't believe that anymore," I added and ran my finger down his chin. "Now I know how strong I am and I don't want to hide anymore. Don't let me stand by and watch you risk your life while I sit twiddling my thumbs in the palace."

"You're giving me no other choice," he ground out between clenched teeth.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest. "Thanks."

He neither hugged me nor said a word. I leaned back a little to look at him. "I'll be fine, I promise."

His jaw twitched. "Xenos soldiers will accompany you at every turn. You won't stray an inch from them, and as soon as there's even a hint of danger, you'll contact me through our line, do you understand?"

“Yes."

He grabbed my chin. "And don't you dare be hurt.", the words were not rational, pure wolf blurted out. An angry, possessive wolf, freaking out at the thought of exposing his mate to danger.

"I'm sorry Aramis," I said, snuggling into his hand and blowing a small kiss on it. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

He then kissed me so hard and firmly, as if punishing me for confining him and forcing him to act against his will. I surrendered to him without resistance and held out my bare throat to him. Growling, he bit the marker. "I won't always be so permissive."

"I know," and that was fine. I knew he'd only let me do it because he knew the depth of my injuries. Otherwise, he would have been adamant about his point.

**

Hours later, I lay in bed with my back against his chest, his arm wrapped around my stomach, staring into the darkness. His even breathing told me he was already asleep, while my sleep just wouldn't come.

I couldn't stop thinking about Serdas and how I still had no memories of the night in the library. However, it wasn't that thought that kept me awake. It was a very specific one that kept circling through my head. One I couldn't answer no matter how hard I thought.

Why didn't Serdas kill me?