Chapter 95: Chapter 95
Camilla's POV
Adrian's words hurt me but when he said he hates me, that was a stab wound no one can fix. I cried in my room for an hour alone. Santiago and Mirabelle wanted to come in but I told them I wanted to be alone for sometime. I don't remember much from the stairs because I almost blacked out and lost my mind with her. Adrian wanted me to go and wear my shoes, that was when I ran into Angel, she was alone. Our conversation started with an innocent hey and the next thing I remember is her throwing jabs at me for not being good enough for Adrian or his seed. I admit, I told her I was going to kill her if she didn't stop harassing me which she didn't but once I planned on executing that threat, I wasn't going to do anything to her, I was simply letting out in outrage.
I don't understand why Adrian doesn't believe me or why Angel would risk her life precisely to make me the bad guy. Any person in Adrian's shoes wouldn't believe me but Santiago and Belle believe me, so why doesn't he?
I have asked myself this question over thirty times and there is no wrong or right answer to this. All I know is when he insists something is the truth, I believe him without question but he can't believe me this once? Why not? It's not like I'm one to go around getting revenge on people with life threatening measures, this is exactly what he does not me, he is the one that rips people open for the slightest inconvenience.
The door of my bedroom creaks, someone is trying to open it from the outside with a key. I quickly get to my feet, my hands coming to my face to smear the watery mess everywhere. I know I look like shit, more so after the action.
“Adrian?” I whisper to myself, as the door opens but no. It's not Adrian, it's Michelle, she strides in, not bothering to kick back the door. She's dressed in scrubs, her hair pulled into a neat, sleek ponytail but there's bags under her eyes.
Crossing her arms over her chest she shakes her head, “I know you're stupid but please tell me you're not stupid enough to attack Angel.”
I shake my head in response and she nods, her body tensing, “You can't expect Adrian to be here after what you did.”
What did I do?
Didn't I just tell her I didn't do it? Why doesn't she believe me? Tears begin to sting once again, if my own sister believes I would go to that extent then what can I expect from everyone else.
“I didn't do it Elle, I promise.” I let out, my voice hoarse from the silent sobs I've let out in the past hour.
Michelle nods, “I know you didn't kiddo, you're too weak to do such a bold thing. I only asked to clear that one percent doubt I had when Liliana and Angel both accused you.
“Why doesn't he believe me?” I ask.
Michelle throws her hands in the air, walking to my bed until she's seated comfortably. “Well, you have every motive to want her and that child dead, plus, you threw a jealous fit when you found out she was pregnant. You literally screamed at her and her child's death wish for everyone to hear, I wasn't here but everyone heard you darling.”
I shake my head, my eyes cast to the floor with tears running down my face. Yes, I did say that but I didn't mean it, I understand Adrian is angry but why did he say he hates me? I know he didn't mean it just like I didn't mean it when I wished death on him, Angel and their baby but it still hurt to hear him say that about me. He told me I'm the one that taught him how to love so how is it all of a sudden he hates–
“I had a chat with Alpha Adrian a while ago,” Michelle cuts through my thoughts, my gaze settles on her and she nods, her fingers tapping into the mattress as she gives me her best poker face. “He is absolutely mad at you kiddo, he said I should tell my brother to come and get his baby sister because he is done with putting up with her, he doesn't want you anymore. You are nothing but a nuisance, his words not mine.”
No.
“He didn't mean that, he's just mad. Adrian can't live without me.” I murmur.
“You are covering up for him.” she counters, in response I shake my head immediately, making her sigh. “Oh, fine, he didn't mean it.” She chuckles. “I told you to run the second you stepped into the lion's den but no, you stayed. You thought you could tame the beast and the rest would fall in line but look where you are now.” she sneers, her gaze momentarily drifting to the door. “You are not cut out for this, I was trying to save you from this heartbreak but you speculated I was just being a bitch. I knew something of this sort would transpire sooner or later. Alpha Adrian might have been able to put up an act and pretended to tolerate you much longer or deluded that he didn't care he had the weakest Luna the world had ever seen but someday it would have come to light and today is that day.” she says sternly.
“No, Adrian changed, he loves me.” I cry out, my gaze drifting to the wall, she is the last person I want to look at.
Michelle stands, “Look at me Camilla.” she demands, making me obey her instantly, I shouldn't be obeying her or anyone that isn't my Alpha but the authority in her tone has me obeying her.When I finally look up to her, she nods. “Gullible and stupid that's what you are, he has proven just how much he cares about you by believing Angel who always lies over you that never lies. You are so desperate for him to be this perfect Disney theme boyfriend for you that you always find a way to clear him against all charges. Your brain automatically rules out all the wrong he does and if not, then you conjure up reasons to justify his bullshit. Adrian knows how to run a successful pack but a relationship? He can't fucking do it so tell me, how long are you going to justify his lunacy? When will the final stroll be for you, when he knocks Angel up again or perhaps another girl?”
I don't respond, I don't know how to because looking back at everything, she's right. I'm nothing but a tolerant nincompoop.
“You grew false wings,” she begins, her feet walking in circles. “Angel saw right through those paper wings and clipped them and now you can't fly.” she shrugs.
“Elle,” I call out, my voice low but loud enough for her to hear me. “Why is this happening to me?” I sob.
“I don't know, but I do know Adrian gets what he wants and what he doesn't want, he disposes and right now that's you. He wants me to tell Ryan to get you but who is to say if tomorrow he decides he wants you again, which he will because somehow, you've imprinted on him, he will have you again. That little pea brain will not think twice before coming back to the man that treats you like a goddamn toy that he can choose when to have and discard.” she hisses.
My hand swipes over my nose and sniffs, “But—where should I go? I chose this pack, this is my pack now.”
“Camilla, it was fun while it lasted but I'm sorry. Adrian doesn't want you, he cursed at you but I also don't know where you should go. Ryan will undoubtedly take you back, he loves you so much but I also know he will start a war with us.”
I can still feel the blade of his words cutting me deep, he called me embarrassing and worthless. Many people have called me hurtful words, but coming from Adrian, it all stings so bad.
“Just what is lacking in me?” I rasp.
Michelle sighs, “As your sister, I should say nothing, but if I'm being honest, confidence. You lack a spine. You're a fucking pushover, everyone talks about how weak you are and you know for a fact it bruises Adrian's ego and as if that wasn't enough, Angel put the icing on that cake when she blamed you for the loss of her child.” she shrugs, studying me closely for a reaction. All while she spoke, I was digging my fingernails into my palms, even through the bandages Mirabelle wrapped around them. I do it as a way of keeping the evil wrath at bay and it works, I end up with injured palms but it works.
“What is she doing here?” someone growls, making me flinch before my eyes dart to the doorway.
Adrian. He seems more upset than he was, he is still covered in Angel's blood which for some reason makes me gag. No clinically sane mate can tolerate what I have with them but then again, I'm not sane.
“Umm, Camilla doesn't want to leave because she loves you and she's your mate.” Michelle retorts, pocketing her hands in the cavity of her scrubs.
“My mate? No, I can't have such a weak luna, not one that kills my child out of petty jealousy. I don't want to see her or smell her anywhere near me because I don't know how long I can restrain from snapping her neck.” he grumbles, Michelle snorts, shaking her head at me.
The rise and fall of my chest increase, the sound of my heart beating louder than anything there is. This is it I've surpassed my breaking point, I've had enough, I don't deserve this. My mother spent so much time ensuring I wasn't insecure like Selena, her oldest and yet I turned out just as insecure if not more. I let people talk me down because I thought I deserved it but I don't, my atonement should be this severe.
Adrian can't get rid of me and have me when he pleases, I'm not an object, I'm not going to be humiliated time and time again because I love him. Everyone knows I have given Adrian everything I have to offer, I've forgiven his mistakes, his cheating, I have forgiven everything bad he ever did to me but still, he can't seem to love me. If he loved me, even half as much as I love him, he would trust in me but no, he doesn't want to hear me out. He sent my sister to kick me out, the same person that marked me in front of hundreds of thousands of people, is the same one that wants me out of his house. I want to say but even I know I shouldn't, I promised myself I would leave the second he fucked up again, if this isn't the biggest fuck up, then I don't know what is.
Tears begin to fall heavy again and I don't bother to wipe them, I fix my gaze on Adrian and sniff. “Weak, annoying, worthless? Is that all I am to you, a charity case? I fucking begged you not to pity me but now it seems you did everything out of sympathy. Adrian, what wrong have I done other than love you unconditionally? ” he opens his mouth to speak but I shake my head, not halting my rant. “I have forgiven you time and time again but you won't let a threat I made slide? You believe the word of your whore over me and you know what, I am fucking sick of it. I have tried to be perfect for you and that gets me nowhere, I'm sorry for loving you and I'm sorry for being such an understanding person with you!” I cry out, my hand coming to swipe the tears on my face. For a brief moment, I think I see something in his eyes overshadow the anger but only for a second and it reminds me, this is what it'll always be like.
“I am leaving, but mark my words, you will all regret everything you've done to me. You will miss the love I gave to you all and when you do, you're not going to find an ounce of it, I deserve so much better than you. You said I should have died?” I chuckle, making Michelle gasp but I don't look at her, my gaze stays on Adrian. “Well, I wish I did too but I didn't die, I'm alive and I'm so glad I get to walk away from this toxic on and off relationship. You will never find someone who loves you as much as I did and you know what, you and that psycho bitch deserve each other because you're both obsessed with the only thing you care about, you.” I hiss, stepping closer to him. I can feel Michelle tense when I do but it doesn't stop me, I only pause when there are merely three inches between us and smirk, “I hate you, I hate Angel, I hate Liliana, I hate everyone who thinks I'm worthless and you know what, I'm glad your child is dead. I'm glad she lost her child, she deserved it and thank you, Adrian, thank you for making me hate you thank you for ruining my life in under one fucking year, I curse the day I met you, you profound bastard.” I hiss, my feet stepping away from him. Neither he nor Michelle says a word, as I walk away, when I make it to the door I pause.
“I will never forgive you for ruining my life and oh,” I giggle, my hand reaching for the necklace around my neck. His gaze follows it when I reach for it, my hand forcefully yanks the gold pendant off my neck in one swift move. “You gave this to me, right? You can have it back, I don't want anything that has to do with you.” I seethe, tossing the pendant at his chest, he doesn't catch it, it falls to his feet and I shrug. Peeking over his shoulder to where Michelle stands I try to compose myself, “How is that for a fucking spine?” I ask, but Michelle doesn't respond, she simply grins sadly.
My eyes find Adrian again, I try not to make actual eye contact but I feign it as I snarl at him with disgust. “It was so nice knowing you but fuck you, and tell that bitch I said fuck her too.” I say, my feet backing away as I still face him. He seems to be in awe as he watches me, when my back hits the wall on the outside of my room–the room, I roll my eyes and walk away, fading into the hallway to nothing but the sound of his hurtful accusations and words ringing in my head.