Chapter 38: Chapter 38

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

ROXANNE

The events of the past days weighed upon me like a ton of bricks. I was grateful for the past few days though. Maids woke me up and served me. It was so unreal. Months back that used to be me. Running helter-skelter trying to get work done but it was better here. They spoke to themselves but not to me and although they did stare at me, I never really heard anyone talk about me.

I still found it hard to adjust. I was probably never going to get used to this place but one thing I was getting used to was not being accepted.

The Alpha refused to see me for days now and I stopped going to see him too. He was a busy man. And for Beta Miles, he was hardly ever present. He and the Alpha were the only people I spoke to.

I stared at the pancakes on my plate. I couldn't eat them all. I was hungry but not for something sweet.

Dragging myself out of bed, I forced myself to the bathroom. The one place I detested a lot. Yes I wasn't one of those morning people but I had to get the hell out of bed.

And out of my room.

I stripped in front of the mirror and stared at my reflection. I didn't look horrible but I didn't look good either. My scars— the scars were a light shade of pink now and they were itchy. I was told by a physician that it was because they were healing.

After what happened in the cell, Ryker didn't want me to have a mirror but I had to beg him and threaten him before he got me this one and I liked it. Or perhaps I liked that I could look at myself again. I wasn't comfortable with my new appearance yet but it was better than it was weeks ago.

I stepped into the shower and thought about Zane and Chloe. They were the two people that made me have so much vengeance in me. Iwas weak in White moon because I couldn't fight back. Even if you ever did, you'd get punished again and again till you were tired of speaking. Till a single word felt like the end of it all.

And when you heard your name, just know you were never going to escape the torture. As the water washed over me I wished Zane every bad thing in this world. And the child he was having, I cursed it.

I was not a preacher of forgiveness, that was for the saints but I wasn't a saint. I was a god and I was going to make every single person that had ever hurt me pay.

Maybe not now, but soon.

I hurriedly got dressed. Dressing up was no fun for me. I didn't fancy all that stuff. I'd rather walk around in panties and a sports bra.

I threw on a long dress as usual and pulled my messy hair into a loose ponytail. I stared at my sunken eyes. I was beginning to look like a skeleton which was starved only in the face. I could swear I could feel my bones.

I quickly pulled a scarf from my closet which I intended to use as a veil. Before stepping out of my room, I reached for the necklace and held onto it. It was like some sort of comfort.

As I walked down the hallways, I contemplated on what to do. I greeted the people who passed and they gave me a smile and nodded at me. That gesture was enough to warm my heart. I never once received a smile from my pack members.

Rather, they treated me like the shit I was.

It was exhausting to greet everyone who passed but it made me feel better. They glanced at me but not too much. They tried not to make it obvious but I still noticed. I was grateful there were no side talks.

This was Beta Miles’ fault. If he had been with me I wouldn't have worried about what to do. I passed through a lot of people and guards and none of them stopped me. I felt relieved that I wasn't asked any questions.

As I stepped into the garden again, I felt the cool breeze against my skin and the warmth that the sun brought. People were out here Working in the garden, trying to keep it clean and beautiful. I sighed as I thought about my life.

I always wanted to be free and now that I was, I had no idea what to do with it. I was one of those people who didn't know what they wanted to do with their life. But it was okay, not everyone had it figured out.

“Well well, we meet again,” I heard the familiar voice say.

I turned around and saw Selina grinning at me.

Hypocrite.

“Hello to you too,” I whispered.

She took a step forward. “We meet in the same place. You think it's a coincidence?”

“Actually it's not. I'm here because I knew someone would be out here. Someone who has nothing to do, like me.”

She glared at me. “You know, it's amusing how you can talk back in this place. You've forgotten where you are?”

I swallowed and ignored her.

“Answer me,” she yelled and grabbed me roughly by the wrist.

I stared defiantly into her eyes without uttering a word.

“Chloe told me about you. And listen, I would make you regret the day you decided to come to Red moon. I will make sure you burn. You're nothing but a weakling but suddenly you find yourself here and you think you're what?”

I swallowed.

“Remember these scars on your skin. I am the reason why you have them and I will give you more and remind you of how you are, if you've forgotten.”

I smirked and yanked my hand from her grip. I was the one who took a step forward and looked her in the eyes this time. “If you're trying to be scary, you're failing at it.”

She gasped.

“Chloe must have told you everything but one thing Chloe forgot to tell you was that I'm psych. I could kill you in cold blood, press a knife to your neck, push it in deeper till you squirt blood and gaze into your eyes till I see my reflection in them and watch you take your last breaths,” I leaned in close to her ears. “If you don't back off, Ma'am. I'll make every moment your last. Now tell me, do you have a death wish?”

***

I hated Selina and I didn't fake it. I was going to trample on anyone who dared stand in my path. I had endured enough at White Moon. Red Moon was my new beginning and I will never write it the same way.

I walked away from her when she had nothing to say and I felt a sense of triumph even though I knew if we were left alone, she would beat me to a pulp.

Both versions of me remind me of me. I was beginning to see why the strong preyed on the weak. I was not strong though but I was willing to stand up for myself now.

Ryker the asshole, Selina the bitch. I wondered how they ended up as siblings. They were too well unlike me and Zane. We were each other's opposite.

I took a stroll in the garden. I didn't want to seem like a creep to the other people who were busy with something . I wouldn't like it if I was engrossed in my work and I lifted my head to see someone watching me.

As I walked away from the people and deeper into the garden, I saw smoke.

Were the people burning the flowers? What was going on?

Picking up my skirt, I ran deep into the garden where the smoke was coming from. When I got there, I saw a half cut tree that was burning and on it sat two crows.

“No,” I whispered as I stepped back, due to the intense heat of the fire. “It's not real.”

It felt like deja vu. But… was it?

The whole tree was ablaze but the crows were not burning. Silent tears rolled down my cheek as I neared the trees this time. It was the exact same tree I had seen that day in my sleep and the crows, they were staring at me.

An eerie feeling crept up my stomach but I neared the tree still. I wanted to understand what was going on by myself.

I reluctantly placed my hand on the tree and I screamed when the flames touched me. I brought out my hand to look at it. It still looked normal. No burns but it hurt like hell.

I shook my head as I tried to get away from the tree but some unseen force pulled me there and kept me there. The crows opened their beaks and out of their mouth spilled blood.

You're the reason why this is happening.

It was the voices in my head and they chorused. I began to sob, “somebody help me please. Get me away from here. Get this thing away from me,” I cried.

People began to gather but rather than help me, they stood on the side and watched. The blood was a lot and I was drenched in it. Maybe that was why they didn't come close to me.

“She's not only an outcast but she's a lunatic,” I heard someone stay.

An arm was placed around my waist. The figure leaned in and said. “I told you it's enough already!”