Agreeing to Create Bad Games, What the Hell Is ‘Titanfall’? Chapter 16
The bullet comments exploded with laughter instantly!
"Hahahahahahaha what kind of galaxy-brain game is this?"
"Of course it’s you, Golden Wind!"
"Is Winter Melon's nickname Little Liang or what?"
"Dude just flew off the screen, I can’t!"
"Brother Qie probably didn’t expect this kid’s skeleton to be so unique."
"So fun, it’s got that chaotic The Mask kind of vibe!"
"You really get Jim Carrey!"
"This game is absolutely unhinged..."
The viewers were cracking up, but Liu Peiqie was in full panic mode!
Winter Melon couldn’t just die like that!
Otherwise, he’d be the one switching roles and becoming the son!
“Winter Melon! Woc, son, are you dead?!”
Liu Peiqie rushed downstairs in a panic, trying to get to the backyard to check on Winter Melon.
But the moment he opened the door—
WHAM! Something unidentified came flying right at him!
Like a piece of flung-out chewing gum, it slapped straight onto his face with a splat.
Then came Winter Melon’s weird shout: “Ah-da!”
Wearing nothing but a diaper, Winter Melon flew up and kicked Liu Peiqie right in the face!
“Take that! DADDY!!!”
You see, this game—under Gu Sheng’s direction—hadn’t been tested for collision physics.
Which meant the force calculations would completely glitch out under extreme conditions.
So naturally—
With that electric flying diaper kick from Winter Melon, Liu Peiqie was sent flying through the air!
Like a deflated balloon, he bounced all over the living room, eventually crashing down like a limp ragdoll, spinning in spirals.
For a moment—
The livestream was filled with their screaming!
“Holy sht! Sht I’m flying, son! Help meee!!!”
“F*** yeah that was badass, Daddy! Wahoooo! My dad’s going to heaven!!!”
The bullet comments were losing it—
“『Strength Through Filial Piety』”
“Hahahahaha fatherly love and filial devotion, truly touching”
“Did a human being actually make this game?”
“Has that three-years-of-animation-class kind of beauty”
“This is batsh*t insane hahahahaha”
“My dad ascending had me laughing till I puked. This game’s pure crack.”
“Certified filial player.”
“Hyperactive duo.”
“Please check the game dev’s mental health—”
“All I can say is: peak entertainment value…”
“Hahahahahaha…”
Too good!
Winter Melon had never seen such a ridiculous game before, and the prank potential had him on cloud nine!
While Liu Peiqie was still down, Winter Melon did a big jump and broke into a bizarre Naruto-run straight for the fridge!
“Daddy! Daddy I’m hungry! I gotta get something to eat!”
As he said that, he reached out his hands.
By all logic, a kid his size shouldn’t be able to grab the fridge handle.
But!
This game had no logic.
The next second, Winter Melon’s arms stretched like taffy, snapped onto the handle in the most ridiculous way, and bam—opened the fridge.
“Wahoo! Let’s see if there’s any rat poison in here!”
Behind him, Liu Peiqie finally got back up.
Hearing that line, he scrambled up in a panic, cursing while chasing after Winter Melon:
“Holy sh*t how did you open that?! Hey! Hey! You can’t just eat random stuff from the fridge!”
“Don’t care! I gotta have a mini burger today! Let’s gooo!”
Winter Melon couldn’t care less. After all, if he successfully self-destructed, next round he’d be the dad!
Seeing hope in sight, Winter Melon dove into the fridge, grabbed a burger—box and all—and shoved it into his mouth!
“EAT! F*** it, I’m going in hard! Rebirth: I Wanna Be Dad!”
One cold burger down the hatch!
His fullness bar instantly shot up by 20%, but it turned green—he was poisoned!
Liu Peiqie’s face went pale instantly!
“No! Don’t eat it! Put it down, son! You’re gonna die!”
“Impossible! I’m eating! I’m scarfing!”
Winter Melon let out an evil laugh, looking fully cracked out!
“Not even God Himself could save me now! I swear I ain’t gonna live past tonight!!!”
Liu Peiqie was losing his mind, watching helplessly as Winter Melon’s poison status climbed higher and higher.
In a flurry of panic, he instinctively tried to pick Winter Melon up, hoping to interrupt this self-destructive madness.
But in his haste, he slipped up.
By accident, he tapped on the fridge door—
“Wait wait wait d*** it no—!!!”
BANG!
A scream of pure despair echoed through the livestream—
“F*** NOOOO! I hit the wrong button! I f***ing closed the fridge door!!!”
The bullet comments were in hysterics—
“HAHAHAHA he closed the fridge door on him!”
“Brother Qie: You’re dying too slow, let me help.”
“Pure family bonding right here.”
“When there’s no danger, Dad becomes the danger.”
“LOL how to lock your kid in the fridge in three easy steps?”
“No coming back from this one…”
“This game is terminally hyper.”
“I’m laughing so hard I’m crying hahahahaha”
“This game is cursed as h***”
“So low-budget but weirdly fun”
“Brother Qie is a pure dumb***”
“What if he shut the door on purpose? (dog emoji)”
“Just to be the son again, huh? (troll face)”
“Not gonna lie, being the kid is more fun…”
As the viewers kept roasting—
Just five seconds later!
[YOU LOSE]
Those big bold words popped up on Liu Peiqie’s screen.
And from the voice chat came Winter Melon’s triumphant yell:
“Hell yeah! F*** yeah! That was one epic death!”
“Young bodies really bounce back! I’m flatlined and chillin’!”
“Brother Qie! Guess what?! I’m your daddy now!!!”
Meanwhile, Liu Peiqie turned into a straight-up Cybertronian.
His mouth opened—out came birds and flowers.
The stream was on fire.
Meanwhile…
Shen Miaomiao checked the time.
It was already 10 p.m.
In the Shark streaming platform’s gaming zone, Ayin’s voice echoed from his stream:
“All right folks, that’s it for today’s stream. Same time tomorrow, don’t miss it. Bye-bye!”
With that, the stream went black.
Shen Miaomiao let out a long sigh of relief.
“Whew—”
Thank goodness nothing went wrong tonight.
She had been camping in Ayin’s stream early on, all just to give herself a heads-up buffer.
No way she was gonna let it turn out like Cat Mario last time, where her game got blown up out of nowhere by the top streamer in the gaming zone.
Luckily this time, Gu Sheng’s dumb luck didn’t carry over.
Ayin’s crap game segment didn’t land on their game Who’s the Daddy.
He only tested a few mid-tier, boring concept games, then logged off right on schedule.
“Perfect!”
Shen Miaomiao beamed with joy:
“No way anything goes wrong now.”
Without a streamer driving traffic, even if the game sold over a thousand copies this week at 5 yuan a pop, she’d still be in the red for 80–90 grand. Which meant she'd make 80–90 grand in losses!
That would not only cover what she didn’t manage to lose last time but let her cash in big!
If this kept up, she could hit financial freedom and start her salted fish life early.
And if her dad still gave her sh*t for lying around at home, she’d just charter a yacht and sail around the world.
Heh heh.
Just the thought made Shen Miaomiao chuckle smugly.
Gotta give it to the system!
The good life was practically within reach now!
What she didn’t know, though—
As she shut down the stream and climbed into bed, ready to dream sweet dreams…
Back in Tianjin, Ayin had just wrapped up his own stream and picked up his phone.
On it played a short video filled with joyful screams and birdsong—
“I don’t care! I’m eating! I swear I ain’t gonna live past tonight!”
“Son! F***! How the h*** did I close the fridge door?!”
“Wahoo! What a glorious death!”
“D*** it, I really got f***ed by this sneaky little troll…”
It had Ayin laughing his a** off—
“This game’s kinda fire though…”