Agreeing to Create Bad Games, What the Hell Is ‘Titanfall’? Chapter 96
On one side, the Eggplant and Wintermelon squad was having a blast, with gifts flooding the stream and the atmosphere lively as ever.
Meanwhile, over in Teacher Ma’s stream—who was also one of Shark’s featured streamers for the day—the hype was off the charts!
Compared to Eggplant’s fluctuating performances, Teacher Ma was known for one thing: consistency!
A solid ten-minute run every time before a plane ride!
“Yo—little boss, Lippi? Lippi all the way...”
The sound of bullets pinging off the Jeep was relentless, ding ding clang clang.
As the vehicle took more and more hits, smoke started to rise from the front hood.
Teacher Ma, positioned on a small hill, knew that if he took any more shots, the car was going to blow. Without wasting a second, he threw the door open, twisted his body, and jumped out in one smooth, practiced motion.
Right after, he pulled out a rifle from behind his back, took a textbook crouched firing stance, and opened fire toward the building where the bullets were coming from!
Flames burst from the muzzle, hot casings scattering across the ground.
The unbraked Jeep slid down the hill, and Teacher Ma smartly used it as a moving shield, firing while he moved, looking like a pro in a combined arms assault. The whole display had the viewers going wild!
Seeing the chat blow up, Teacher Ma couldn’t help but grin smugly.
“That’s what I call adapting on the fly, you know? Always pay attention to the battlefield and use any cover you can find.”
As he spoke, the Jeep picked up speed, rolling onto the asphalt road.
The sudden change in elevation forced Teacher Ma to break into a run to keep up, still explaining to his viewers:
“For example, in this situation, we can use the Jeep’s momentum to—”
Before he could finish!
Clang! The Jeep seemed to hit a rock, the body jolted sharply, then swerved, looping around—
The back end of the Jeep swung straight into Teacher Ma’s face!
“Ah!”
A scream!
Followed by a thud!
In the blink of an eye, the teacher who was just confidently explaining tactics became an airborne ragdoll, flung like a sack of potatoes.
【You ran over yourself with a vehicle】
The chat exploded!
‘Pfft hahahahaha—’
‘Holy sht, Teacher Ma’s got content for days!’
‘Got up too hard, the car’s butt got him good’
‘Streaming genius’
‘So the Jeep swerved mid-slide, spun around, and smacked me to death in a triangle kill (doge emoji)’
‘That’s the signature Ma-style Boomerang’
‘Dmn, I’m dying of laughter! What a ridiculous death!’
‘This needs to be immortalized. A classic for the ages.’
‘I was about to doze off, now I’m laughing so hard I’m wide awake—hahahaha...’
Even Teacher Ma couldn’t hold it together:
“Heheheh—what a dumb*ss death... so annoying...”
Gifts were flying across the screen.
But Teacher Ma took it in stride. After all, in just over an hour since he started streaming, he’d already parachuted over ten times.
And every single death was different. The audience could tell he wasn’t faking it for the content—he was genuinely bad.
After a quick reset, Teacher Ma was back on the plane.
Meanwhile, the Fishball betting board opened again: Would the streamer last more than ten minutes this round?
Whoosh—
Soon, as the plane flew over Pochinki, Teacher Ma picked his moment and leapt.
A rapid descent, adjusted his direction, opened his parachute low.
Say what you want about his shooting skills, but thanks to sheer repetition, his parachute technique was practically pro-level.
The chat erupted with admiration—
‘Teacher Ma’s parachute skills are kinda cracked!’
‘Holy crab, while everyone else is still in the air, he’s already on the ground.’
‘Dude’s basically an extreme sports athlete now.’
‘Can’t imagine how insane his parachuting will get if he keeps this up all night.’
‘Hahahahaha, you guys are too much.’
‘Every round Pochinki, every round that same house, I bet Teacher Ma’s building muscle memory at this point.’
‘Once again, a perfect landing. Teacher Ma’s the real deal, way more reliable than Eggplant and those dumbasses.’
‘Missing Eggplant’s tears on Day One.’
‘Hahahahahaha...’
However!
Just as the viewers marveled at Teacher Ma’s landing skills—securing Pochinki first for looting—
Thud!
Suddenly!
There was a parachute landing sound from the other side of the rooftop!
“Yo—?”
Even Teacher Ma was caught off guard!
He thought his low-altitude parachute landing was unmatched, but someone else had landed just as fast! Whose subordinate was this?!
Looking up—
Not far away, a twin-tailed girl player had just touched down. She did a forward roll and smoothly scooped up an S686 double-barrel shotgun!
Before Teacher Ma could react—
Boom boom!
That shotgun—nicknamed "the Sprayer"—had brutal close-range damage, and at this distance, even with armor, a chest shot would be instant death.
However!
Just as Teacher Ma thought he was about to get sent back to the lobby—
The sound of reloading!
Eyes wide, he saw the twin-tail struggling to reload shells into her shotgun.
Glancing at his own health bar—
Not a scratch.
Teacher Ma grinned ear to ear.
A player this bad actually exists?!
He lunged forward, grabbed an S12K shotgun nearby, chambered a round with a click, and grinned:
“Yohohoho—little boss, done shooting? My turn now.”
Boom boom boom boom boom!
The five shots in the mag all fired off, smoke pouring out from the barrel.
But when the smoke cleared—the twin-tail was still standing, full health!
Both of them froze.
Then, without a word, they both started hopping in place, reloading, and firing again, twisting around like dancers.
On the rooftop, it was pure chaos—two figures weaving in and out around the only piece of cover, the low wall.
Boom boom!
Boom boom boom boom boom!
Click click!
Boom boom!
Boom boom boom boom boom!
Click click!
The chat was stunned!!!
‘Huh?!’
‘I love that PUBG player quote—“Huh?”’
‘Evenly matched! A worthy opponent!’
‘My turn now (time to show off the Ma-style shotgun)!’
‘Anyone who lands this fast has at least a couple tricks up their sleeve.’
‘Yeah, but apparently only a couple. Never used a gun before.’
‘"Horse Racing"’
‘Even a legendary trainer would call these two "good horses."’
‘Even Little Fuguai would say, “Good noobs.”’
‘I can’t take it anymore—’
‘Too much, they’re planting rice fields in my mouth!’
‘My rice cooker just started cooking by itself!’
‘This match isn’t bland soup—it’s two master chefs cooking up a storm!’
‘It’s New Year’s, gotta celebrate! (dancing)’
‘Is this a comedy duo?!’
‘I’m suffocating from laughing too hard, help!’
‘Hahahahahahahaha...’
The madness had the whole chat in stitches!
For half a minute straight, they duked it out—firing non-stop, as if the rooftop had at least eight people going at it!
Finally!
As Teacher Ma fired the last round in his final mag—
Boom!
The twin-tail finally dropped to the ground, turning into a loot box.
“Phew—”
Teacher Ma glanced at his smoking S12K barrel, let out a long sigh of relief:
“Good thing I was a little better!”
He stepped forward to loot, when a childish, slightly Hunan-accented female voice came through the public mic, sounding both admiring and a little funny:
“Wow—you’re so good at dodging! Can you teach me? I’m a streamer! I can get you on TV!”
Hearing this, Teacher Ma froze, glanced at his stream’s massive viewership in the millions, and couldn’t help but smile:
“Oh? What’s your name? I’ll check out your stream.”
“Search ‘Little Tuanzi’ on Shark!”
The girl answered proudly:
“I’m still a new streamer now, but I’ll definitely be super popular one day!”
“If you become my mentor now, your future’s going to be bright—”
Her words made Teacher Ma chuckle, and he was just about to introduce himself.
But the chat exploded!
‘Do it! Take her in!’
‘Teacher Ma, don’t say who you are! Holy sh*t, the content is amazing!’
‘Bruh! This is my favorite—playing dumb while secretly OP!’
‘One rocket gift if you keep your identity hidden, please!’
‘Holy crab! Boss move!’
‘Shut up fee incoming!’
‘Brother Yan, you’re a legend hahaha...’
The barrage of comments gave Teacher Ma a heads-up. He nodded and said:
“Thanks—thanks to Teacher Ma’s Pi Yan for sending a set of rockets. Thanks, boss.”
Then he turned his mic back on:
“I checked out your stream. Looks promising. All right, let’s squad up. Your Grassland Viper won’t let you down, okay?”
“Yay!”
Meanwhile, in her own stream, Tuanzi cheered:
“I got a mentor!”
She’d actually been streaming for almost a year, mostly in the League of Legends section. Her stream never really took off, usually only a few dozen viewers at most.
Seeing PUBG’s surge in popularity, she applied to switch to the PUBG section, hoping to make a fresh start.
But her gaming skills were...not great.
Time and time again, she parachuted, only to get eliminated right away. Everyone seemed better than her.
Still, Tuanzi didn’t give up. After each death, she’d get back up and queue again, hoping to find a mentor who could teach her.
But most people were too busy to help a small-time streamer like her. Some even mocked her outright.
This time, though—
She finally found a good-hearted player.
Even if his shooting wasn’t exactly top-tier, the fact that he managed to eliminate her meant he was better than she was!
“Yay, I’ve got a mentor! Someone to carry me~”
Tuanzi was overjoyed.
What she didn’t notice was that her stream’s viewer count had shot up from under 500 to over 100,000—and was still climbing at a shocking rate.
...
Before long, the two of them had formed a squad.
The audience could hardly contain their excitement.
Two top-tier chefs, who’d just fired nearly 50 rounds at each other in a 10-meter rooftop duel, now teaming up for a co-op stream!
The hype was unreal.
‘Legendary duo!’
‘Can’t wait for the chaos to unfold!’
‘These two together? I dub them the strongest duo in streaming history!’
‘Holy sh*t! Teacher Ma’s stream just hit 50 million viewers! Insane!’
‘Bruh, stop crowding over there—Tuanzi’s stream is about to hit half a million. Someone’s about to get exposed!’
‘Let’s gooo! I’m ready for dinner! Just ordered plain rice—these two are my side dishes!’
‘Best streaming side dish ever!’
‘I’m already recording this for endless replays...’
‘You guys are absolutely wild hahaha...’
With the audience holding their breath in anticipation—
The two of them loaded into the next match.
Whooom—
As the familiar drone of the plane’s engine filled the air, Tuanzi glanced at her Grassland Viper mentor, feeling reassured:
“Mentor! Where do we drop?”
This time, the plane’s route was a little off-center, leaning southwest—not their usual Pochinki run.
Teacher Ma thought for a moment and marked a small compound south of Pochinki:
“Let’s drop here first. Once we’ve looted up, we’ll head into Pochinki and make big moves!”
“Okay!!!”
Tuanzi nodded eagerly:
“I’ll follow your lead, Mentor!”
The two exchanged a look, then without hesitation, jumped out of the plane.
Their form was so graceful, their technique so refined, it was breathtaking—no doubt, in parachuting, they were unmatched among streamers.
Whoosh whoosh—
They dove headfirst toward the compound.
But what they didn’t expect was—
Not far away, another duo was heading for the same compound.
Then, a voice crackled over the public mic:
“This compound’s ours. You’d better back off, or we’ll send you on the next flight.”
Camping compounds and controlling access to major areas was a classic sneaky tactic.
Clearly, this duo next to Teacher Ma and Tuanzi had the same idea.
But what they didn’t realize was—
The two players on the same parachute route as them...were on a whole different level!
“Tch!”
Tuanzi scoffed, her childish voice ringing through the air:
“Maybe you should take that advice for yourselves! My mentor and I are cracked!”
“Hahahaha, kid, you’re so naive—”
The other duo burst out laughing:
“Let me tell you! The two of us are the kings of Erangel’s wilds. Our names are known across the map. As long as we get a gun, we can clear any compound! What can you do, huh?”
Just then, Teacher Ma made a respectful gesture in mid-air:
“Oh? So you’re the Wild Kings of Erangel? My bad! I’ve heard the name, I know you two can wreck the wilds with just a gun.
But the real question is—
Can you get the gun first?”
With that—
Teacher Ma chuckled, then dove straight down like a missile!
Tuanzi followed close behind, gliding like a fish through water.
“Wha—?!”
The Wild Kings were stunned.
Were these two crazy?!
They were about to hit the ground—why weren’t they opening their parachutes yet?!
Gunning for the loot?
Sure, but that only works if you’re still alive!
Panicking, the Wild Kings shouted:
“Fools! You think you can win the loot race like this? At this speed, you won’t even have time to deploy your parachutes!”
Their courage faltered. Not daring to risk it, they both opened their chutes, slowing down as they drifted toward the ground.
They figured the other two were done for.
But the next moment—
Just as it looked like Teacher Ma and Tuanzi were about to crash and die—
Whoosh! Whoosh!
Their parachutes popped open at the last possible second, catching the air for just a moment before retracting right on top of the compound’s rooftop!
A split-second timing that gave them total control over the situation!
Rustle rustle—
As their parachutes folded away, there they were—one man, one woman, standing tall.
One holding an SMG, the other gripping a shotgun.
Both weapons aimed straight at the Wild Kings, who were still slowly drifting down from above.
“Uh—uh, uh uh uh uh uh—!!!”
The Wild Kings finally realized what kind of monsters they were up against.
Sure, they had good aim, but as Teacher Ma said—
Good aim only matters if you have a gun.
The next second—
Teacher Ma let out a wicked chuckle:
“Yohohoho—little boss, tough break!”
Gunfire erupted in the compound!
Rat-a-tat-tat!
Boom boom! Boom boom!
As the bullets rained down, the Wild Kings’ desperate screams filled the air:
“Shameless! Despicable! Bet you wouldn’t be so tough if we had guns!”
“You guys are gonna get court-martialed for camping parachute landings!”
“You’ve got no honor—ahhhh—f***!”