Chapter 221: Chapter 221

Mei Xue hurriedly shook her head. "Miss, you mustn’t say such things. All my efforts only gained meaning after you woke up. I’ve always been just your maid; even during those years you were asleep, people still saw me as just a maid. If you hadn’t woken up, they would have only seen me as a masterless maid, someone they could bully as they pleased."

"Without me, you could have left without any burdens. All these years with me, you’ve had no home of your own, no lover, no children."

This struck a nerve with Mei Xue, and her eyes reddened.

She choked up. "Miss, do we really have to talk about this during the New Year’s celebration?"

"I don’t have the courage to say it at any other time," Han Liying admitted, her own heart heavy. "What did the old lady scold you for just now?"

"I don’t want to talk about it." Tears rolled down Mei Xue’s cheeks.

Han Liying already understood.

She took Mei Xue’s hand and returned to the courtyard.

Su Jiang had been busy lately and had not yet returned.

Han Liying had someone prepare a meal, all dishes that Mei Xue loved.

Han Liying picked up a cup of wine. "This cup is a toast to everything you’ve done for me over the years, including your insistence on having Fu Bing wake me up."

With that, she drained the cup in one gulp, and Mei Xue drank as well.

With tears in her eyes, Han Liying said, "Sometimes I wonder if my insistence on having my parents adopt you was right. You were so cute and charming; you would surely have been adopted by another good family, cherished by parents, and protected by siblings."

"All these years with me, you’ve given too much and received too little."

Mei Xue looked up, but her tears fell more abundantly.

"Sister, don’t say that."

Before Han Liying married into the Su Family, Mei Xue often called her ’Sister’ in private. Later, when Han Liying’s mother said it was improper, she stopped.

"I was discarded at the Orphanage before I was old enough to remember, and I’d never experienced anyone’s exclusive protection or affection. After meeting you, I finally had something that was truly mine. Whatever you had, you would share with me and always ask for my opinion first. If I liked something, you would give it to me without hesitation."

"Even with Su Jiang, you once considered stepping back to let me be with him."

Mei Xue clumsily wiped her tears.

"I’m like your shadow, and I have never disliked being your shadow. The special affection you always showed me, I hoped to show you in return."

"Not having my own home, a lover, or children is indeed heartbreaking. Especially when wronged, I really long for a shoulder to lean on, and to have my own children to confide in when I’m tired or sad."

"But even if I had them, it might not fulfill my expectations. What if I had the misfortune of encountering the wrong person and being dragged down by them?"

Mei Xue paused at this point.

"Actually, I have felt the care of a man before. Su Jiang... he has been very good to me."

Han Liying poured her another cup of wine, listening to her continue.

Mei Xue’s gaze grew distant.

"Don’t misunderstand; his care for me was based on the premise that I am your sister."

"In the first five years you were unconscious, he talked to me a few times and helped me carefully choose men of good character and ability. As long as I liked one of them, he was willing to ensure I was married off honorably, as if I were his own sister."

"I was indeed moved once; there was a man who was really good. But I was scared..."

Mei Xue’s fingers trembled, barely able to hold the wine cup.

"I was afraid I wouldn’t lead a good life. People always think I’m capable, but that’s because of you. You were the one charging ahead, and I was just following behind, accompanying you on your journey."

"I trust the people you trust; I feel safe around them and can relax in their presence. The people you don’t trust, I don’t trust either."

"Back then, when you weren’t around, I couldn’t be sure if that person was right for me. I was even more uncertain about whether I could lead an independent life and be happy. All the interpersonal relationships in Sully were organized by you; I just needed to do my job well under your wings."

"For so many years, I could only do well on the foundation you laid for me. I simply don’t have the ability to trust others independently..."

Mei Xue knew her own weaknesses.

Therefore, she dared not take a step forward on her own. Even if staying put meant facing greater risks and pressure, she was willing. She believed that Han Liying would not abandon her, and anyone Han Liying chose for her would not abandon her either.

During the years Han Liying remained in a coma, she never feared being looked down upon or blatantly bullied by the Su Family, because Su Jiang would not allow it.

Simply put, she had always been living under Han Liying’s wings.

If Han Liying hadn’t fallen ill, any children she might have educated would have turned out even better. And I, too, would have chosen a husband from the men Han Liying had carefully selected for me and started a family.

Han Liying didn’t know what to say. After a long while, she said just one sentence.

"You’re really silly..."

"Sister, you’ve never lacked love; you don’t know how much I cherish being uniquely favored and respected by others. I may seem calm and gentle, but what I really crave is the certainty that I’m the only one in someone’s heart. Over these years, aside from you steadfastly choosing me, no one else has firmly chosen me."

"I can vividly see their calculations in their eyes and hearts. They assess my worth, precisely calculating whether I offer the best value. I feel like a commodity they’re evaluating. Only if I ’win’ their assessment do they start showing interest and pursuing me."

"I really dislike that feeling."

She feared that one day, if her value diminished, they would turn and leave. And not just leave, but also scorn her for being an orphan, for lacking a powerful maternal family. That was her untouchable sore spot. She would never have biological relatives in her lifetime. Her only recourse was to stubbornly cling to Han Liying, to bind herself to Han Liying, so they would become inseparable. That way, her meager value wouldn’t be subjected to the same cold, clear calculations it had faced over the years.

Han Liying swallowed a cup of bitter wine. "In the future, I won’t talk about what I said tonight. Xiaoxue, thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I’m back now. You’re still young, and in the future, I will observe carefully. I will find an outstanding man I can trust for you and ensure you can marry with peace of mind, alright?"

The expression on Mei Xue’s face could no longer be controlled. She pouted, aggrieved, and tears, like pearls from a broken string, streamed down her cheeks.

Han Liying nodded affirmatively. "You’re only in your forties; life is just halfway through. You’ve endured all the hardships; you definitely won’t have to suffer in the future. My children will be your children, so you won’t have to worry about your future."

Han Liying took a deep breath. "The things I’m going to do next may put you in an awkward position, but my intention is not to make you uncomfortable. It’s that I’ve been asleep for too long, and I need to find my own path again. Otherwise, I can’t protect the people I need to protect. If I compromise, I won’t be able to protect you in the future either."

"Sister, you don’t need to explain. Whatever you do, I will fully support you."

Mei Xue had always worried that Han Liying had changed, that she no longer dared to dream big or act decisively. It had been four months since Han Liying woke up, yet she hadn’t truly participated in any of the Su Family’s decisions. She had thought her sister had changed, but it turned out Han Liying was just concerned about her, Mei Xue’s, situation. Mei Xue suddenly felt like crying again...