Chapter 40: Chapter 40

I spent the rest of the day lying down and staring at the cuff on my wrist.

["Daydreaming. Always daydreaming."]

Letting out a sigh, I drop my arms on the bed and reply to Acro, "This place is driving me crazy." It's complimenting to imagine the white wolves will serve me, that I got the genuine blessing for Alphas, and to accept the consecration means to shoulder the responsibilities. My Luna will be the fated one. Which means that I can't be with the woman I desire.

If this is the work of the moon, how shall I defy it? Or can I? I'm already born in the oath of having the blood of a silver wolf flowing in my veins. The situation of this age I woke up to is dire. Or it's just my responsibilities from the past haunting me. It'll probably fill half of my life in guilt if I run away again.

If I become the Alpha, I have to stay here, away from the people I've grown up with. Far from those people who helped me reach this place. Far from the life that I used to have. Or else I can have my own rules and be the Alpha who hardly comes home to his pack. Yet that might betray my matrimonial oath; to make my Luna bear our silver pups and teach the next generation how to live it. Wherefore I shall let Dandeline cook for other guys!

["Daydreaming. Always—"]

"No!" I cover my head through my arms and trample my feet on the bed successively. "I won't let it happen! The lucky guy is me!" I hop to get up. The only answer that can clear my thoughts is to guarantee my chances to her as much as I can! As regardful as possible. And as amorous as circumstances allow.

Therefore, I have to know her decision.

☪ ✧ ✧

The following day is full of attempts. I came to check on her and she was resting on her bed, reading a book as she had always done since she came here. "How are you?"

She answers, "Not as good as the first visit. I still need time to recover." She closed the book. "It was foolish of me to think that I can save myself from the penitentiary. I underestimated your father. Somehow, I'm glad you came even though I'm full of shame."

"You're an overthinker."

She chuckles while the sunbeam through the window meets her face. I'm trying to form my lips to say the word. Yet her dedication to her oath disheartens me. I'm an overthinker, too! The chance slips away when Lanasia enters the room, telling us to take the lunch inside their room. I offered wholehearted assistance for Dandeline but she can walk by herself, not a typical feeble old lady.

Midway, she stumbled and I caught her before the floor could.

It's the same lunch gathering we had outside Asfara. Less lively because of the absence of pishnies. The couple seems comfortable publicizing their sweetness. Zaeramil asks them, "Do you have to be sweet most of the time?"

"If you're enamored, yes," Matheo honestly said. His son's reaction was teachable through nodding before proceeding. I stole a glance at Dandeline who was busy chewing the veggies.

"Dan, would you like me to chew it for you?"

Her eyes widened at me. "What?"

"Ugh, please, that's disgusting," Zaeramil reacted.

"Are you insulting me? I have teeth!"

I shook my head. "No! I'm just trying to..." be sweet, "help," and I did it the wrong way! The family laughs at me.

"Chewing is one of the least I can do for myself."

"... Of course."

And then she laughs at me, too. I remained silent afterward, nagging myself regarding my intention toward her. But chances are elusive.

I came back into my room with a slumped face and Acro perceived it immediately. I sit in front of the window, leaning on the window sill, and staring at the garden outside. This day humiliated me! I can't conclude myself into a decision unless it is unsure.

["Daydreaming,"] Acro says again.

I heard sweet laughs of familiar voices in the garden. Behind the fountain in my perspective, Zaeramil and Sherizzah are there alone. They've made quite a camaraderie for a short time. A playful smile shapes my lips. Even though I look pitiful while watching the love birds and not making mine.

I spent the rest of my day meditating and composing myself. I can do this! It's a failure if I adjourn these thoughts!

With full courage, I knock on Dandeline's door around seven in the evening. But I found an empty room again. Through my reawakened power I follow the smell of her scent and it leads me outside the palace. At this hour, most of the werewolves are inside their homes, markets are closed, and farms are empty; these could be the reason why she strolls. Moreover, snow is falling.

I found her in the graveyard, specifically, in front of the huge stone of carved names—the only memorial I have from Rossy. Her hair is tied as usual but she dyed it white, the first thing I noticed. Her age is the usual again. She's wearing a thick coat against the snow while I don't. Apparently, I feel immune to the cold.

"Dan, what are you doing here alone?"

She looks at me and goes back to the stone. "Rossy... She's the one you've been looking for, no?"

I put my hands in the pocket of my pants. "Y-Yes. I can remember everything now. Rossy was my childhood friend."

"Mmm, that's good news. Lanasia revealed to me that Rossy is my ancestor. That could be the reason why you mistook me before. So, what was she like?"

"She... She's like a thoughtful sister to me."

"Perhaps you liked her from the way you hugged me. And from how you both made this cute promising remembrance."

I cleared my throat. "I guess I did."

"Then it wasn't me after all. It's her."

"What do you mean?"

"She's the one you truly like, not me. I do have her genes in me but I am not her." She recounts, "Did you know why Lanasia befriended me? Other than being indirect folks, she's dedicated to her ancestors' wishes. She studied my lineage and concluded that my life is a fulfillment of my ancestor's promise. She kept telling me that theory again and again."

"..." I haven't commenced my real intention yet but this conversation is getting worse already! "There's no error with Mrs. Lanasia's theory. Rossy did promise me before my father put me into slumber. She will always be by my side. And she wants me to recognize it through the name of a flower. Your name... came from the dandelion."

"You see? Eventually, I'm glad I made it here, too. It's all clear to me now. I'm sorry but I can't prolong the fulfillment of her promise, and I'm happy somehow that I made it happen—"

"Dan, it's not what you think."

"I don't want to replace her. Neither to be a replacement."

Her voice is drawing along her emotions. One must be the water to the fire, at least. "I do not see you that way," I said calmly. "Don't overthink about it. Yes, I liked Rossy in the past—"

"And you like the Rossy in the present?" Her voice broke in utterance, and her eyes are turning into something contagiously painful for me to see.

"Why are you reacting like this? Does it really matter if you're a replacement or not? Please tell me."

"... It does. It matters... it matters as much I don't want to use you as a replacement for him!" she confesses. Her words made me weak and numb. She's in-depth about her love for her first man. "I'm confused. I shouldn't bother myself about this because, in fact, I'm already old. I don't want to be a victim of romance anymore. Or don't get me involved!"

She passed by me, taking with her steps the puzzling resentment against me while I still don't understand what was going on! "Dan..." It aches to watch her scurrying away from me. So, I chase her and snatch her waist into my arms, lift, then turn her around. She turns around again in her previous direction but this time, she's facing me. "Dandeline, I—"

"Don't say it! I don't want to hear any romanticism's lines—!"

"I like you as you."

"Shut uuup~!" She covers her ears, so I hold her wrists up.

"Let me make this clear before you sleep tonight. I'm not looking for Rossy in you. I'm looking for the feelings I had felt with her, and I found it again with you. I liked you before I could remember Rossy. It's your very scent that lures me. It's your skills that amaze me. 'Twas you who told me who I can be. It's you all along by my side. Dandeline, that's the name of the woman I like, and it's you. I like you enough to allow you to use me as a replacement if that will make you whole again."

"What the hell are you saying!? Of course, I won't use you!"

"Then make me official."

"..." She slips her wrists out from my hold. Immediately, she wipes the tears running down her cheeks.

"I should be the one crying here."

"No one prohibits you."

"So, why? Why are you crying?"

"I'm so confused. Indecisive. Because I madly want to grasp what is not meant for me. I'm so unfortunate."

"What?" I want to stay calm for longer but she's been rolling me around the bush—! It surprised me when she strikes me directly to the point by raising a kiss on me. I lock her in my arms while she's clinging her arms to my neck. She's gently sucking my lower lip and I am responding equally.

"I like you," she admitted under our noses. "Everyone knows except you, idiot." Consequently, I hold her tighter to dominate a kiss on her cold lips. Her tamed fingers brush down on my jawline. My heart is pounding in great vigor.

"Will you be my mate?"

"Of course," she decided and pecked her smiling lips on mine.

I couldn't contain the grin, I inhaled, then shouted, "I am... the happiest wolf in the world!! Awooo~" I howl as loud as I can while lifting her on her waist. Whilst she kept hushing and covering my silly mouth.

"Stay put! We're outside!"

I whisper seductively to her ears, "Shall we get inside?"

She rode behind me in my wolf up to our front door. When she unmounts, she shakes off the snow and I shake it off in the dog's way before I shift back to my human. She's standing in her doorway when I kiss her hand. "Goodnight," I bid.

"Hey, you're going to sleep already?"

I chuckled at her question. Impatiently, she pulls me inside her room and pins me on the closed door. Her glare looks cute to me.

"Are you still scared to... do it?"

She sounds concerned about my trauma until now. Let alone that respect makes me fall deeper for her. I responded, "Maybe we can figure it out." And I kiss her aggressively, whilst I'm moving forward and she's moving backward, towards the bed. I keep my frisky lips on hers' while unbuttoning my shirt, she's helping me with the stripping. The necklace is left behind, and I just casually drop the shirt.

Her hands rub my chest downward and to my back while still trading kisses. My hands, getting excited, remove her coat and drop it on the floor, too. I lift her thighs about my loins and sit on the bed, she's sitting on my lap. Rubbing slowly and sucking kisses on my lips again. I'm hugging her in one arm and my other unties her hair, it slides on both sides so I tuck it on the left. The kisses resume as my fingers play with her hair. Some strands stuck in between our busy lips. That's when she pauses to tuck those strands.

She's even more beautiful with her hair down. Her playful fingers on my neck weaken me. Until it plays down on my shoulder to my arms and squeezes them. She's starting to heat up, her kiss weighs harder and deeper, and still controls the bite on my lower lip. Along with her rushing finger on my body, her lips rub down to my jaw and neck.

Pleased, I gave way to her lips onto my apple. She creates a loud peck on it, too. My hand that was on my waist brushed up to her arm as her kisses traveled deeper and my hold got tighter. A smirk plays on my opened lips because of the way she invites my sensual cravings. She sits on top of me again and strips her clothes, enticing me even more from my sanity.

Not just her face, but also her body is insanely beautiful. She stoops down on me for another round of kisses, that is my advantage to unplug her last cover. Then I rub my hand on her soft skin while the other removes the strap. I clutch her on the waist to bring her under me, tempting her to subdue by my eyes. I trace her lips using my tongue and seize her with my passionate kiss.

And then I rub my open lips down to her birthmark and neck, along with my breath. I kiss her there and suck her delicate skin. It's driving me wild—the same irresistible desire I had. I've been gripping the pillow until she whispers, telling me to touch her and pushing me to give in. Her timid nails scratch my back as I squeeze and enjoy the softness of her body. Breathy moans. My kiss slides down to her neck again, to her collar, to her ample bosom, and belly button.

I caress my hand to her thigh, passing under her bottom piece while suffocating her with my sucking kisses. I can feel her lashes tickling my nose. I became the impatient one. I madly want to make sure she'll never seek her first man after this night. I want to break her aromantic walls. I want her mine. These possessive thoughts control me. By my claws, she was fully uncovered. We were both lost from composure when I came in unto her.

This feeling burns my cheeks, makes me addicted to the pleasure, and uncontrollably stays in and deeper, slowly. The response of her arching body is luring and her moaning my name makes me lust for her more. She's been gripping the pillow above her, and her cheeks are burning as well. I went in many times until my breath demanded more. I lean on her, both of us chasing our breath. While I'm sinking my face into her neck, her hands are squeezing my biceps again and her right tiptoe tickles my leg.

I dropped a sticky peck on her lips and propped my elbows, showering her some more with my peck kisses on her forehead, eye, nose, cheek, and neck. Later on, I whisper, "You're so beautiful, Dan. I can't let others own it."

She's wiping my sweat on my forehead, then caresses my cheeks. She lifts my face through my cheeks in front of her's.

"Seriously? Are you crying?"

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too... from the very start."

Sweet kisses turn into passionate kisses once more. I kiss her neck, grope her bosom, and come into her again and again until she suddenly faints. I kept calling her, "Dan?" I kiss her thighs. "Dan?" And I kiss her waist to tickle her but she's still unconscious. I slam the pillow behind her. "Dan!?" I guess she reached her limit. I pin her hands on the bed, tilt my head to find a good spot to lick, then bite her. She groans quietly. I made it deep and quick. I sink my nose into her hair afterward as I renew my sanity.

The snowstorm is raging outside. But its coldness doesn't affect the heat we made. I can't get enough of her affection.