Chapter 21: Chapter 21
She picked a fascinating view of the sea of clouds where the sun also dominates it with its beam, a perfect place for submerging in fresh air!
There's a huge glass wall beneath this long balcony where most passengers are relaxing. I'm leaning my arms on the balustre made in shining brass because she's doing the same. Indeed, she's letting the air swing her hair, and it's happening before my eyes smoothly. However, her sad eyes mix a negative vibe to this soothing moment.
"Dan, do you still... love him?"
"Of course, I'm over that jerk," she boasts with a daring smirk on her face—which relieves me somehow.
"Then what makes you feel degraded?"
"The fact that he's happy without any signs of pain after everything ended about us! I want him to be miserable! It can't be that I'm the only one who looks broken! I want mutual lamentation!"
"Uuuh, I think you overdosed your eyes with the sight of those two."
"It makes me feel replaceable in a snap. How unfair it was to see him dating someone else while I'm not!"
I pretend to chuckle. Her voice is getting louder which is stealing the attention of anyone around us. "Dan, is it necessary to see him miserable like you? You're speaking as if there isn't any chance for you to be happy like him. If he's happy, then you can choose to be happy, too. Your feeling is understandable but the way you want things to be is not acceptable, maybe because there are some important aspects you need to change for a healthy mindset."
"I'm sorry. The mindset of women is deliberately speculating. But I won't turn down what you've said, you got a point."
"Aha-ha! Womanhood, huh?" I have no idea how it differs.
"The course I'm crossing was my choice before. Things are only getting tough because of the dead dreams I had."
"Do you mind if you tell me?"
"I don't believe this will interest you. But since we speak of the devil... There are two reasons why Zithri and I broke up. First, I'm not wealthy. The typical woman of his parents is someone who can be an asset and handle their family business with their son. And that's not me. I'm not engaged in luxurious negotiations. I just love to live with the dogs in an isolated house, nurturing my talent of enchantment, and find the man who'll accept me as is.
"Zithri fell in love with that talent of mine before he did the same for the caster. But he's someone who's stuck on the leash of his parents. I... don't want to make things worse." She shrugs. "And I don't believe that elopement is such a romantic option for forbidden lovers. Zithri is a very charming gentleman but those traits aren't meant to be spent with me for the rest of his life. That's the reality of romance! It makes you happy and eventually, it'll make you devastated. So, don't blame me if I'm not a believer of love! I have already concluded that dogs are better than men!"
I point to myself. "But I'm a dog, too."
She laughs at my response. "Don't be defensive. You're a man as well."
"Did you build dreams with Zithri?"
My question silenced her for a second which made me think I hit a sensitive spot. I play with my nails and behave my tongue thenceforth until she speaks again. "The second reason why Zithri's parents dislike me... is because I'm a widow. My first man died in an airship crash, I wasn't able to handle the pain of the saddest news in my life... that's why I lost my child in my womb that time, too."
My hands and legs turn stiff and cold upon hearing that tragedy. The sound of death somehow reminds me of a vague memory. The pain she's bearing is contagious, sympathetically, to me. She's more broken than I expected.
"The dreams we built died alongside him. A small and happy family. Fur parents. Eternal love. It all died. I found a way to fill those empty dreams when I fell in love again with Zithri but this subject became my weakness. I am not fortunate when it comes to love. I didn't give my all to my second man because of the fear of losing someone, but whatever amount you give, when it comes to love, endings are still painful." She wipes the forming tears at the tip of her eyes. "I'm sorry for my dramas."
"Thank you for telling me. And it's not your fault so don't apologize. Love isn't my kind of subject, either. It seems complicated for most. Now, it's scaring me."
I made her laugh again. "You don't have to worry because of the mating system. We're on our way to your mate anyway! And it's getting cold. Let's go back inside—" She bumps into an old lady the moment she turns around and this old wealthy lady steps away while looking at Dandeline.
"It's really you," she mutters. When I look at Dandeline, she's speechless whilst looking at the lady, too. Judging from their impressions, they know each other... in a bad way. The lady continues, "I was about to approach you anyway. I thought I was just imagining you tailing my son but you're truly here doing something despiteful," she insults formally with her chin up.
But as I expected with Dandeline, "Oh, I did not spend my money to ruin my eyes with the sight of your son and his arranged fiance," she responded, dignified. I don't like where this is going! "Our original flight was supposed to be yesterday. We met here by coincidence. Maybe to haunt you, so don't make it obvious that you're intimidated by my presence. It's the work of fate, not mine."
"You're still a woman with the tongue of trash. But I don't approach the likes of you for petty talk. I just want to remind you that my son is engaged and is going to marry the woman he's with soon. Kindly keep your distance from my son to avoid any sort of inconvenience. I'm still being kind by giving you a warning. Stay out of our sight."
"Then blind yourself."
"How impudent—!"
"I have no means of respecting you, you're not worth it." Dandeline is in rage when she walks away. The woman was about to reach for her when I hindered her way.
"I'm sorry on her behalf," I said, then ran after Dandeline.
When we arrived in our room, she threw everything she touches such as the chair, blanket, and pillows. "WHAT'S THE DEAL OF THAT SMUG!? SHE THINKS I'M DROOLING OVER HIS SON!?" I hinder my arms to the untouched things to preserve them from Dandeline's rampage. Even Acro flies towards an open drawer, then hides. "WHAT KIND OF WOMAN DOES SHE THINKS I AM!? A DUMPED WIDOW WHO CHASES AFTER THEIR TRIVIAL WEALTH!? SUCK HER COCK-EYE IF SHE DON'T WANT TO SEE ME!"
"Dan, maybe you're just hungry—"
Her fingertips release powerful enchantment to shake the room as she screams, "HAAAAAH!"
I'm almost holding my breath and my lips after that powerful frustrated scream. She sat on the floor beside the bed, covering her face with her hands, elbows leaning on her knees, silently. Acro is extending her neck to squint on us. The following silence made me recognize her crying. I rubbed my hands and sat beside her as slow as a sloth to be cautious. This makes me feel responsible for coaxing.
"Someone told me... You shouldn't let someone else decide who you want to be. If that lady thinks about you that way, then I think about you as a brave woman. After all the losses, you chose to live your life," I uttered calmly.
She wipes her tears but looks away from me. "Am I a hypocrite now?"
I made a chuckle. "It's everyone's natural weakness. We don't have the resolve to fulfill our own principles, but we keep using it for the purpose of motivating someone, right?" She remains silent while crying. The scream worked to reduce the weight of anger within her. I shift into a big wolf and tenderly cuddle her.
"What're you doing?"
["Use me as your comfort."]
I sat in between her legs as she hugged me tight and proceeded to cry again. In this form, it seems natural for me to wipe her tears with my tongue. I waited patiently for her to calm down until she fell asleep after an hour. I didn't fall asleep for the sight of her keeps my eyes open. I shift my form into a human again and lift her to the bed, both of my arms are locked on her sides while staring at her beneath me.
It's somewhat challenging to tame a woman. It made my stomach empty. Later on, a staff knocks on the door to deliver the dinner here. The perfect timing excites me, leading me to open the door immediately. That's why the maid was startled. "Oh, good evening. Would you like to take your dinner inside or at the ball? It's ongoing at the main hall."
The food on the stove cart lures my appetite. That's why I decided to have dinner now. The maid serves the newly cooked foods on the provided table inside, then leaves. I can't wait for Dandeline to wake up so I feasted on my own. I was expecting an extraordinary taste of food here but I now believe it only exists in palaces. Dandeline wakes up in the middle of my feast, wiping her lips and sleepy eyes.
"Dan! How are you feeling?"
"What the hell is that?"
"A salty beef with corn soup and veggies. Let's eat."
She looks at the time on the pendulum, then swipes the curtain of the window only to find out that it's dark outside. She walks past the table straightway to the bathroom. "I'll have my dinner on the ball. My pride will not accept that food. You shouldn't be humble, too. It's insulting me instead."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you see the way they treat you? This is the cheapest room and that is cheap food. I paid the same amount of money as those influential passengers but they're treating us unequally. They're so annoying." She came inside the bathroom afterward. And it looks like she's still on fire.
While chewing, I look back at the way people were looking at me as I review the differences. And other than the clothes, it's my appearance.
It's all because of the old discrimination after all. Yet Dandeline kept it to herself until now. Nevertheless, the basic calling of foods is to recharge strength, whether a food is cheap or not, it's a blessing. Dandeline is right, I'm so below the belt! If she's going to the ball, how can I? I don't think I should leave her alone in the middle of a judgemental crowd. But I'm afraid she'll get in the fray again!
In my perspective, she's like a goddess of volcano steam when she leaves the spring in the bathroom while only having a towel wrapped around her body. "You still ate that!?" she scolds with her hands on her waist, like an angry laundress. She'll despise me for my crazy imagination. "I'm going to the ball." When she loosens her towel, it magically becomes a fitted long silver gown then performs a few enchantments for the shining sandals and hair up. "I'll make sure to make the most of the wine there," she confesses, considering it her stress reliever.
"Dan, your man was lucky."
"Huh? Why are you saying that out of the blue?"
"Because he didn't have to wait for hours for his girl to get dressed."
"Ugh, whatever. So how do I look?"
"You look perfect."
"..."
I nod. "I mean it."
"Wow... You've got bad taste." Then she winks at me.
"What—" I was left in the room. "Does she have to be angelic for dinner?"
I sigh then look at myself in front of the mirror. I'm already an embarrassment around her. There's not a single person of the same color as mine. Although it isn't something I should be ashamed of. I have to be there beside her. But her ideal has something to connect with Zithri. I remember his image in my mind.
I removed my coat. Uncovered my upper. My hair and skin turned white as snow. With all the accumulated courage I had, I held the scissor and cut my hair.