Chapter 108: Chapter 108

"I told you, Alpha! You're dying!"

"You're killing me by heart attack!"

"This will save thee. Believe me. You need your mate now but she can't provide that need for you! You cannot find her in every corner of the world with that condition of yours! Alpha, mating is what your bitemark demands and you will survive longer if we meet that demand for now. Look, you're all over pale."

"..." I looked at my hand and realized that the skin of my fingers eroded. I shook my head. "No, I can't do that."

"You have to!"

"Not with you— Not your body..."

"I don't mind if it's for thee."

I groaned, "I don't feel right about this."

"Then you'll die... or thy kids will watch you suffer to death!"

"No no, don't make me overthink."

"You have no choice! I'm here to help thee."

"..." I can't deny the sincerity in her action. We exchanged gaze for a minute, my eyes glided to the shape of her breasts and hips under her drenched dress, then I looked away immediately. The breath crossing in my throat is burning, leaving my throat dry which worsens my condition. That kiss she made me taste vibrates the heartbeat on my bitemark, wanting for more. I caught the glance of the pishnies on me and I command politely, "Kindly... leave us alone."

They were nervous about my decision as they left the little casualties unconscious. There was a glimpse of silence after they shut the door. I observe her awkward demeanor while she's avoiding my gaze. "I will not require you to meet that demand. I know a friend who can help me with the remedy and I'm only waiting for the message from this friend of mine to meet the mage who shall succor—"

"No mage can cure it, believe me. The bitemark is the power of the Moon Goddess. None has ever removed it. Unless... you request to cut the mate bond... and be free from anyone's claim."

"I'm not asking to remove the bitemark. I just want to reduce the bad effects on me to survive longer while I search for my mate."

"And I told thee it's meaningless. I've seen different stories of bitemark."

"Alright, fine, you're more knowledgeable about werewolves than me."

"And that's why you should trust me." She crawls a step toward me and I prohibit her attempt right away.

"Hold it, woman!" I'm raising my hand to her. "I can't do this to my mate."

"We'll do this for her too." She gracefully slides her hands on my stretched hand to hold it. "Not that I'm compelled for the sake of helping thee, but because it's my pleasure too." My spine chills as she kisses my fingers, licks my palm, and puts my thumb into her mouth before she strikes me with her seducing glance with her golden eyes. I pulled my hand from her.

"So... basically, I'll cheat on her with benefits?" I ask while wiping my licked hand on the blanket. I almost held my breath when she pushed my shoulders down and positioned her legs on my sides.

"That will vary on her own judgment," she answers in a tender tone.

"I can't—" And she shuts my chatty mouth with a heavy pressing kiss! She rubs her lips like a champion for someone who was timid a few hours ago and turns into the she-wolf that I met during our first night. In response, I don't. I can barely move my lips and she's doing the most of it; partially raising my chin to enter her tongue and meet mine, rubbing her teeth on it and on my lips several times.

I grip the sheet with my two hands on each side whilst she suffocates me with kisses. And I hate it that my bite mark is dying to respond to the pleasure... that I shouldn't! She cuts the wild kiss and we both chase our breaths. For a moment, she stared at my lips and bit her own lip.

"This bite mark on thy lips again..."

"Huh?"

"... is pushing me away." She lifts my chin and speaks with her lips gliding on the skin of my neck, "I'll still make sure you'll like it." And she kisses me there. Her tickling tongue shivers me. She arises for a second to strip her dress and catches my involuntary glance on her moist bosom, resulting in a smirk on her lips.

"Oh, gracious pervert..." I muttered after I closed my eyes in frustration. Then I felt her wild kisses again. Her tickling fingers slide on my right arm to my clenching hand, tame it, and lead my hand to her body. "That's enough."

I rose up and turned my back on her as I sat on the side of the mattress. I bit my cold knuckles. 'Twas coming naturally for me, nevertheless, her voice is not the voice I want to hear moaning my name all night, not the body I want to dominate... or not my love I'd sworn to have me exclusively. I don't want to take this body lightly lest I'll become who I don't want to be. I tapped my forehead when the face of my trauma flashed in my mind again!

"Are you... feeling better now, Alpha?"

"No. It doesn't help."

"..." I flinched when I felt her hands crawling from behind to my chest and her kiss on my neck. "Then I won't stop until you're healed... and feel thy flesh in me again." One of her hands swoops inside my pants.

I unbuckled her arms and moved away and said, "I changed my mind! I'm feeling good now!" Unfortunately, the dizziness attacked again. I just felt my back fall on the mattress again—which worsens the spin of my vision—and Hrista is positioned above me! Her hair turns and covers our faces as she rubs her lips on my lips again. I'm so helpless... My fingers are shaking when pushing her waist. "Hrista..." I uttered between our kisses. "I'm about to—!"

I turned sideward and threw up!

"Alpha! Why are you..."

I puked more on the floor whilst still lying. The next thing I know, I'm washing my mouth and face beside the river, I drink through a wooden cup too, given by the amiable pishney beside me. The water and breeze here calmed my condition. An hour of inhaling and exhaling out here saves my life, and an hour of silence, too.

"If only I knew this bitemark might kill me... I shouldn't have let her go," I said, still sitting beside the river. The dancing field of glowing dandelion adds to my antidote. I cleansed my bitemark as well and that was when I found out the diminution of the contusion. The pishney speaks to me through the sound similar to a purring cat. And I said, "Yes. That woman on the swing," as if I understood it.

I looked at one of the dandelions and plucked it. Downheartedly, I blew on it after I wished to "Please be alive, Dandeline." I watched the flying and glowing petals of a dandelion going away with the wind. "No, that was not enough." I plucked another two dandelions and blew the petals. "For the kids, give her back to me." I always feel inadequate as I watch the flying petals. I plucked five more dandelions. "Help her find her way back to me."

I didn't pluck a dandelion the next time but I bowed to blow on every dandelion on the ground within my reach! The pishney climbed to my arm to stop me but that didn't work. I desperately used my coat and fanned the dandelions roundabout, making countless dandelion petals afloat in the air withal! "Dan, please, come back." Then I rest, watching the petals fly like dragonflies. The pishney plays with my knees whilst purring.

"I'm praying to see her again, too," I replied to it. I looked in the direction of Hrista slowly approaching my way. She's seemingly shamefaced with the short robe the pishnies lent her, consequently, her bright thighs are exposed. Her intention speaks to me through her gaze, then I requested the pishney to leave us alone. I wore the coat without any top but only the necklace, put my hands in the pocket and approached her.

"..." Her long white hair sways with the wind, and so do mine. "Alpha..."

"I'm feeling better," I answered in advance.

"Mmm, good to know." She holds tight to her robe. "I saw what you did. I find it... genuine. Indeed, love makes us crazy. It makes thee crazy... and I'm the same to you." She can't look at me incessantly while I do. The following silence made her heartbeat louder.

But I formally declared, "Hrista, this will be the last. You shall not tell what we did to anyone else and I'll do the same except to my mate. I'll still be honest with her… I hope she'll understand. Plus, the best thing you can do is to keep your limit in mind."

"... I've been doing that for so long. But I started to believe that... this limit is not meant to be forever. Now that you're in front of me... no limit could stop me from grabbing this opportunity."

I caress my nape. "To be honest, I don't know if you were looking for refuge in me or—" I sighed. "... Forget it." I walked away casually.

"Alpha," she chases me, "Allow me to be honest with thee."

"No."

"I know you can see—"

"No. You'll only hurt yourself."

"But it's more painful to keep it inside of me! I remained silent for so long! about how much I care for you! about how much I love you!" She hinders my way and I stay on my spot, facing her courageous confession.

"I love you... and I've been dying to express that openly... but I couldn't. You're mated and I respect that! But today is different, your mate is gone. And I at least... want to be there for you but now I don't understand why I want to be more than a packmate to you."

"Don't..."

"And yes! I didn't come to you solely for refuge but with the hope to be your refuge, too!"

"Hrista, don't give yourself false hopes just because my mate is missing."

"Of course. But my only way to survive this love is to choose the lesser pain; lying to myself that I have the chance to you by taking this advantage, or watching you love someone when I want it to be mine. And by the end of the day, lies are less painful than the truth! Alpha... I can't tell if I'm still sane now, somehow, I feel better that I told you how I feel. And willing to give you anything I can because... I can't escape this love for you and I'll just embrace it."

"... I can't love you," I said, as humble as never had been.

"..." She flops her face before she looks at me again with blushing cheeks. "And I can't let you go either."

"Hrista, you don't love me truly—"

"I do!"

"You only love my body because of that one night!"

"Yes! I love your body and that is one of the parts of you that I love! I loved that you were determined to stand for our pack when Alpha Shio died, that you cared for the white wolves even for the dead ones, that you... that you would sacrifice your life to save your chastised mate, and now that you are such a good father... You have no idea how much I admire you.

"You're strong. You're dignified. You're chivalrous. You're kind. And every inch of you, I love them all! You are an extraordinary werewolf and providing you can't see that to yourself, I do! I admire you just as you are, how funny, how sweet, all of you. There's... There's something in you I can't let go of. So for the love of the goddess, please give me a chance."

I shook my head slowly. "... I'd be lying if I said yes. I'm sorry, I can't give you what you want even if I try. I still love her."

She grabs the sleeve of my coat. "I promise I'm willing to be a good wife to you. I would love to take care of your twins and love them. I can complete you. I can mend the missing part of your home. We will be happy."

"Try to understand, Hrista. It's pointless to have everything if I can't have my everything. I can't replace her. And I can't love anyone else that I would follow her to her grave if ever she's dead... I don't believe she is."

She squeezes her lips when her tears are shedding, silently weeping.

"You should've forgotten me a long time ago."

"I know! I tried but I failed!!" she exclaims. "You're not just someone who passed by my life! You made an impact on me and you have no clue you did—!"

"I didn't mean—"

"And you never cared..."

"Hrista!"

"... because you only see me as a whore, don't you!?"

"No!"

"You think I'm an aphrodisiac! or I'm an aspiring concubine! an awkward..."

"I don't! Hrista—"

"... Yes! You think I should've shut my mouth and love you but I can't remain silent!" She stamps her foot while jabbing her chest. "This love is hurting me silently for so long and you can't see it!! Because... of course... you only have eyes on her."

"..."

"..."

"If I ever love you, or give you the chance, I'm afraid that that will be pitiful... And you don't deserve that."

"..." She turns her back as she walks away, but it's regrettable to let her like this. I grabbed her wrist, stopped her, and wiped her tears using her hair. Apparently, she's wondering what I am doing.

"I'm really sorry. I'm only doing this to redirect you to what is destined for you. You don't deserve me. You deserve a man who will see you the way you see me, and I'm not that man. You may not realize it now but in time, you will."

"... 5 years," she sniffs, "plus the first months I had eyes on you, isn't that enough time to forget thee? I thought about you every day and every night. I was so devastated behind the doors when you died. I couldn't stop worrying about you when you were banished and begged for the Alpha to spare thee. I can only glimpse at you while sending help for your family to move on. Even shutting us in Asfara for 5 years wasn't enough to make me forget thee..."

"What?"

"... and what I realized is that after all this time, I can't... free myself from this love."

"You... were shut inside Asfara for 5 years? I thought you were hunted?"

"..." Her parted lips trembles and her eyes round. Her reactions made me pull out my hands from my pocket and walk forward, she's stepping backward as she catches my glare.

"You know my whereabouts after all so why did it take you 5 years to find me?"

"..."

"Are the other white wolves alive in Asfara?"

"I-I mean... it's..."

"You lied to me?"

"..."

Her back bumps into a tree which stops her from stepping backward. She grips the neckline of her robe in front of her chest, shrinking before my presence as I unleash my claws too. "SPEAK!" I groaned.

"I-I h-had no choice!!"

"What? Did someone threaten you to lie?"

"It was my only way to convince thee! to have a part in thy home!"

"You lied for the sake of my mercy? Are you saying that all the other werewolves are alive?"

"Yes, A-Alpha."

"Including the Moon Priestess?"

"I don’t… know." A drop of tear swoops from her eye. I sighed, looked away whilst scratching my eyebrow, and spoke to her ear again,

"You have my word, but I'm giving you the chance to tell me the truth."

She's maintaining her head bowed, her face is flustering, and her hands are shaking. "... I escaped from Asfara, which is now a part of Linevr, the world of werewolves created by the Moon Priestess to find thee. She's... been preoccupied with that world for 5 years and... creating it with us. So I... I thought about thy bite mark, that you are probably hurting, but when I met thee again I desired to own y-you.

"All the werewolves are alive in Linevr. The Moon Goddess rules there, but there is still an ongoing debate regarding the silver wolves. The majority think that the Moon Priestess will take advantage of her authority to acquit thee but some think that she's better with the pirate Eldar she's working with. Chances for thee to be part of that world is... low. So I came to visit thee ahead of time."

"How about her?"

She glanced at me and felt shame on her face again. "Whether she's suffering due to her bite mark or not, we know not."

"..." I took a step backward. "That's a relief," I said. I was startled when she grabbed my hand and positioned it around her neck.

"You may kill me, Alpha."

"No." I pulled back my hand. "Watching you eat your own lies is enough punishment."

She glides her back and flops on the ground, covering her humiliated face from me. "Please kill me. I'd rather be dead than watching you and her— Please! Kill me!"

"No, I won't. You'll stay here with the pishnies and make up your mind. Hrista, you are a werewolf. The Moon Goddess shall give you a mate if you prove yourself worthy. You have another choice. Accept it, and you'll heal thereafter." I left her weeping beside that tree. I smeared my face with my palms and circled my lips as I exhaled.

That was tough!

It wasn't over after I heard the plunging of water. She's gone from where I left her. "You've got to be joking," I murmured, rushed there while removing my coat, and jumped into the river. She wasn't even struggling when I pulled her back to the surface. That was when she struggled. I still pulled her to the ground and lay on the dandelions. "Seriously!? You just changed your clothes!" I scolded.

"If you're only concerned about the cloth..." She was stripping her robe and I grabbed her wrists!

"Hey! Not just the clothes!"

"I'll kill myself on behalf of thee!"

"I do not allow such absurdity!"

"What for!? My life is dumped! I'll choose death over suffering longer! I can't... take this away from me! I can't stop loving you."

"..." I lifted her in my arms. She flusters again and hides her face from me, resuming her cry. The pishnies open the door for us back to the room of casualties and I lay her down on the mattress. "I'll return home in the meantime while you stay here. I'll come back here as soon as possible."

"..."

"Thank you for loving me, I guess."

I earned a glance from her.

"It must be difficult for you, but don't end it here yet. I can't let you die unless you find someone who is meant for you. That's when you'll know how beautiful love can be, which is one of the best parts of life." I smiled at her. "You may wish on the dandelions. There are many." I walk away afterward and halt when she speaks,

"Did you know, Alpha, that ever since you came to Asfara, several white wolves—male and female—admire thee? For thee to know their name shall give them honor. So it is an honor for me. It's all I wanted... at the least, to have a space somewhere in thy life."

I paused with silence before I kept walking away and closed the door. The pishnies have been eavesdropping outside and I caught them, but we all froze when Hrista weeps louder from the inside. I instructed the pishnies to keep an eye on her and not allow her to hurt herself again. I left the place and instantly arrived in Cardozen town, one door apart.

...

...

(Dandeline's POV)

I've been exchanging gaze with the door for about 5 minutes before I accumulated all the guts to get inside. My careful footsteps are the only sound in here. I stealthed to the bedroom where the twins are sound asleep with the blanket beneath them. "These boys know how to catch a cold," I whispered. Without removing my glance at them, I plucked a petal of red rose, dropped it to the boys and it puffed onto a red blanket.

My flying kiss pecked on their foreheads with my magic. Smelling the scent of my mate again, I sat on his swing bed and unleashed my floating spellbook in front of me. I play my fingers in the air with my eyes closed and as I open them, I find myself lying on a leaf mattress. It's unusual for Acro to lie like this. She's inside a glowing tree which reminds me of cute moments with the pishnies.

Scanning the area, my lips parted when I caught Hessuel having sex with a fair white woman above him! "WHAT!?" I jolted up from my seat.