Chapter 40: Chapter 40

*Prathap Pov*

‘All the best!’ after sending the message to her as today is her meeting the cast after getting another role and that too again a lead one, I turned to glance at Bharghav.

“Are you really busy?” I asked him frowning.

“Yes! I need you to handle the lunch along with me.” He replied not even looking at me and gestured to the sous chef regarding the dish he wants him to prepare.

“Okay! I will just follow your orders. I don’t want to take back the role of head chef.” Saying that I waited for his instructions.

He stared at me in silence before nodding at my suggestion and we both started working together to manage the lunch orders and finally finished everything by three.

“Now, I need to work on the soup for which I am here for in the first place.” I mumbled rubbing my neck.

“You can’t!” Bharghav stated and I turned to stare at me.

“I need that place for the dish we are preparing for dinner. So, unless you are confident about finishing it within three hours, you can do it in the night.” He added.

“I am not sure about it.” I mumbled while trying to understand his reasons but still it feels weird to not have the power to use the kitchen as I wish.

However, after making this decision, I can’t go back on it and I don’t want to also. I am finally spending more time on deciding the changes to the dishes and also being there for Anitha whenever she wants me or at least that’s what I wish it to be.

She is still cold or should I say blank towards me without showing her emotions except for that one time when last week I cut my finger.

Then again she is not cutting the calls when I call her everyday at night and sometimes even I drift off into sleep within a few minutes.

“Okay! You can continue.” Saying that I turned around to leave but he stopped me with his question.

“Aren’t you upset that I stopped you?” he asked and I turned around smiling.

“Why would I? This is your kitchen now and you know best about what is needed and what is not.” I replied shrugging.

“I can’t believe you actually thought about the reason behind my words instead of reacting immediately.” He mumbled shaking his head.

“I am learning!” I mumbled frowning while he smiled nodding.

“I remember her saying in one of her interviews on how she fell for you when you were cooking. So, why don’t you do that?” he asked folding his hands.

I sighed at his words because I am already doing that for the past one month but of course it is not working.

“You actually apologized but dropping her in the middle of the road like that, right?” he asked suddenly frowning.

“Yes!” I mumbled and he shook his head.

“Do you know who is the main lead for the new movie she signed?” he asked in a whisper and I shook my head to his question.

“It’s Lucky! Her fans who root for both of them are really happy and actually think you broke off with Anny as there are no couple moments posted from both of you or that were caught by the media.” He whispered after looking around and I frowned hearing that.

“Exactly! So, try to get back together fast.” He added and I sighed rubbing my forehead as I didn’t expect this at all.

Was the present situation not worst that why does he have to be the male lead for this new project? I can’t even show my jealousy side like earlier as it will be too much.

She will immediately bring out that there are not even five months before the contract expires and I don’t have any right to be jealous at all.

“Why don’t you treat her crew one day and show off your relationship?” his words paused my hand and I glanced up to stare at him.

“No! She will not like it.” I mumbled and he smiled nodding.

“Okay! You take rest while I will go and do something about this soup.” Saying that I started packing the ingredients I took out earlier.

“Where are you going to cook?” he asked seeing my actions.

“I know a place with a wonderful kitchen and the best thing is about the owner of that place may end up giving me a company.” I replied smiling at that thought.

However, I stayed for two hours before driving to her place as I am not sure when her meeting could finish.

“I don’t need any groceries today.” I paused from ringing the bell after hearing that voice and turned to find her standing near her car with her manager.

“I know!” I mumbled ringing the bell still staring at her.

“We will leave then.” Saying that her manager got back inside the car while Manoj is glaring at me with the window to his side pulled down.

“Let’s go!” hearing the manager’s words he started driving and they left while Anitha walked towards me.

“What are these?” she asked looking at the grocery bag I am holding while I smiled hearing that question.

“At least you are not asking me why am I here anymore.” I explained and she cleared her throat before stepping inside when the door is opened by her servant.

Her servant saw me and the bag I am holding before asking, “I can leave early today?”

Anitha turned around to stare at her and then at me before saying, “Fine!” before continuing to walk towards the stairs.

“Thank you!” I mumbled to the servant while she smiled before following me to help with the bag.

After she left, I took out the ingredients and also the pans I need before washing the vegetables and heard her footsteps reaching me.

“Are you preparing dinner?” she asked and I turned to find her standing near the kitchen entrance while staring at the things I took out.

“No! I have this idea about the new soup I want to experiment but Bharghav threw me out of the kitchen saying they don’t have a place for it.” I explained and she frowned hearing that.

“How can he say that?” she asked folding her arms.

“It’s his kitchen and he knows better.” I pointed out while she sighed and immediately frowned.

“Then why would you come here to prepare it?” she asked staring at me.

“Because you have an amazing kitchen and I need someone who has good taste buds to taste it.” I replied to her question.

“Oh!” she made a sound but didn’t say anything else.

“And also to spend time with you in this way.” I added and she immediately opened her mouth to reject it but I cut her off turning the conversation.

“How was the meeting?” I asked and she frowned at me in silence before turning around to leave.

“I heard Lucky is the male lead.” I added and she paused before turning to stare at me.

“Yes! The director felt our chemistry is good and that’s one of the reasons for me to get a chance.” She replied and just stared at me.

“Okay! I am sure this one will be better than the first one and you will get more chances. With that, you will be really busy but I will make sure that you have your meals properly and also take care of you.” I said staring right back at her.

I expected her to say something about the contract or even just walk away but she just stood there and stared at me.

“I… start cooking. I didn’t have lunch and will taste your experiment to fill my stomach.” Saying that she turned around to walk towards the dining area and sat on a chair.

While I just stood there in shock hearing those words and having a hard time believing them too. And she turned to stare at me while gesturing me to go on.

I frowned for a second before concentrating on the preparation but continued to steal glances of her in between and found her lost in her phone completely.

“Done! Let me know the changes that are to be made.” Saying that I placed the bowl before her.

She took a sip after blowing on and mumbled, “It’s too bland.”

“Bland?” I asked and she nodded slowly.

“It doesn’t have any effect.” Saying that she took another sip and I took the spoon from her hand to taste it myself.

I nodded after tasting it before taking the bowl away while she mumbled, “I will finish it.”

“It’s not good!” without another word I returned to the kitchen and walked back to her after some time.

“It needs some salt.” She mumbled this time and I blocked her from taking another sip before tasting it myself.

“You are right!” I mumbled nodding and she frowned hearing that.

“If you can do it too, why did you ask me, and why are you even here?” she asked taking the spoon back to have more.

“For your kitchen and for you and for your… mouth.” I whispered the last part and she coughed hearing that while I tried to control my laugh.

Taking the tissue on the table I patted her chin where the soup spilled a bit while she finally calmed down from coughing.

“You…” she started but I cut her off brushing my lips over hers and she immediately pushed me away.

“I am just stupid!” saying that she walked away from the dining area and started climbing the stairs while I slapped my head.

“Why did you do that? Everything was going well and you just had to ruin it.” I scolded myself while contemplating whether to leave her like that or follow her.

Follow her! That’s what I felt and immediately rushed after her after covering the things in the kitchen and found her pacing in her bedroom.

“I didn’t mean to, Anitha. I will not do it again until you forgive me.” I promised the moment she saw me entering the room.

Hearing that she sat on the edge of her bed while holding her head and I slowly reached her before sitting on her side.

“Why now? Why do you think you love me now and not before? What if it’s just your guilt from that day’s incident?” she asked and I stared at her in shock hearing that question.

“Anitha!” I called placing my hands over hers to turn her head in my direction.

“It’s not that I love you now but it’s just that I was stupid to not confess until now. I feel guilty? Of course but my love is not something from that guilt.” I stated and she continued to frown hearing those words.

“You can be angry at me and even hate me for my actions but please don’t doubt my confession.” I pleaded and she blinked before taking her hands away from her head but I continued to hold her hands.

“I am confused about what to do about all this.” She sighed uttering those words and I nodded understanding her feelings.

“I really love you, Prathap. And maybe that’s why I am not able to forget that day no matter what.” She added and the happiness that I felt hearing the first sentence turned into pain by the end of it.

“Do you know I was so happy before that you never treat me as some celebrity and just as a normal person? But now I am finding as many reasons as possible to not forgive you and one of them is that you didn’t treat me as a celebrity that day and just left me there alone. I mean how absurd is that? I am already angry that you left a woman alone at night at such a place but on top of that I am also angry for not getting treated like a celebrity by you.” She scoffed saying those words.

“Now, tell me whether we can ever be together without that day entering our minds?” she asked staring straight at me.

I stared at her while processing her words and pulled her into my arms hugging her tightly and she didn’t struggle.

“I don’t know! But I am ready to think of those every day and feel guilty than to not have you in my life. This is definitely something I know with clarity.” I mumbled honestly and after a few seconds, I felt her arms around me.

“Even I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to see you right now but I want to hug you like this too.” She whispered and I tightened my hold around her.

“Don’t see me and just hold me with your eyes closed.” I mumbled and she chuckled hearing that.

After a whole month, I finally felt happy without thinking about anything else. I know she didn’t accept me yet completely but I am fine with this.

*Anitha Pov*

“I will prepare dinner for you before leaving.” Saying that he stood up to leave after I let him go.

“Soup is enough for me.” I mumbled and he turned to stare at me.

“Okay! I will just leave then. You have an appointment in the morning, right? I will be here and take you to the hospital.” He said smiling.

I stared at him for a second before nodding and his smile just got brighter before he stepped out of my room.

He has been following me to the hospital but I never allowed him to drive me to the hospital while going there but still ends up getting into his car while returning home.

Tomorrow will be the first time he will drive me directly and I don’t know why am I even happy about it in the midst of other thoughts in my head.

I stood up before following him downstairs and found him cleaning up the kitchen before returning to the living room.

“Prathap! I will do something about my thoughts and maybe even try to communicate more and deal with these things. Don’t come here again to prepare anything for me.” I said stopping him.

“I never wished for you to leave the things you do just to attend me. We both have our own lives and I am not stopping myself to do my things then why should you?” I asked frowning.

“First thing is I am not stopping myself from doing anything just to come here. And the second thing is I am practicing my cooking skills by cooking for you as I don’t have my own kitchen right now. And the third thing is, I want to spend time with you at least like this.” He pointed out the things staring at me.

“I am leaving!” saying that he started walking towards the door but suddenly turned around.

“So, Lucky and you will have too many romantic scenes?” he asked frowning while I looked down hearing that.

Earlier when he was reacting as if it is a normal thing for me to act with Lucky I felt surprised but now it feels like his typical reaction to the news.

“Yes! There are too many scenes. It’s completely a romantic film.” I explained and I didn’t think his frown could be deeper than it already is but it went deeper.

He stared at me in silence and I didn’t say anything back. If it was before I would have said anything but somehow I don’t want to say anything right now.

“Okay!” saying that he turned around before leaving while I shook my head.

He need not say anything as his expression showed every single bit of his thoughts. I sat down after he closed the door behind him and leaned back thinking about the conversation we just had in my room. Does he really love me?

I know that he likes me but I never thought he actually loves me. When he uttered those words that day, I ignored them completely but today I can’t ignore even if I want to.

But how can I be sure that day will not repeat again in the future? And to top of that, I am not in the right frame of mind to think about involving in a relationship too.

What if these nightmares never end? What if these therapy sessions will not give any kind of good result?

However, that night when I didn’t get his call and when I continued to stare at my phone for an hour waiting for it, I realized all my questions and everything was nothing before the things he made me get used to.

I took a deep breath and typed a message asking whether he is fine but couldn’t send it in the end and closed my eyes to try to sleep.

Somehow I continued to think about him and didn’t realize when I slept off also. I never thought I will escape those nightmares in this way also. However, I ended up waking up within a few hours feeling the car driving over me and just about to hit me like that day.

My hand instinctively reached the phone as if to hear his voice but then remembering there is no phone call from his side, I put it back on the table. That’s all I can sleep for today I guess as I don’t want to see that car again at least for this night.

****

“I am sorry! I just laid down and was waiting for the time to call you but somehow I ended up sleeping. I guess I was tired and I am sorry about that.” He mumbled the moment I opened the door after hearing the doorbell.

“You are early!” I said checking the time as I am still getting ready.

“I thought you will leave early because of not calling you yesterday night. So, I came early.” He explained.

“Why would I do that? I was not waiting for your call.” I said turning around and immediately scolded myself for him to guess my plan so clearly.

After getting ready, we both stepped out of the house and got inside his car in silence. He didn’t say anything while driving and I didn’t try to make any conversation too.

I put on the glasses and the hat after the car stopped in the parking lot while he stared at me doing that.

“Okay! No one can guess it’s you except for me.” He mumbled nodding while I shook my head.

We both got down and reached the receptionist who immediately sent me to the doctor’s cabin as she is free right now.

“How are you feeling today?” she asked smiling while gesturing me to sit.

“About that…” I don’t know why but somehow couldn’t reply to her question at all.

“Take your time!” she said not rushing me to say something too.

I stared at the table for a few minutes before saying, “I am thinking about other things more than my nightmares while sleeping these past few days.”

“Like?” she asked nodding while I cleared my throat.

“My fiancé!” I replied not sure about how to say it.

“Okay! Your relationship problems?” she asked writing down in my report.

“Kind of! I don’t know whether I should think about my relationship right now when my mind is in a mess.” I explained and she leaned forward.

“Whose mind is not a mess? Don’t we all concentrate on the things that give us comfort all the time? So, don’t ignore the things that give you happiness just because of this reason. The nightmares are just a phase that will pass after which you have a life to lead.” She continued to talk and I calmly listened while expressing my views on a few things.

“Do you know the best things about the therapy you are taking?” she asked finishing the session.

“You being ready to deal with the issue is already a half therapy. So, don’t worry much about these things and just think about whatever you want to.” Her words stuck in my mind even after stepping out of the cabin to see him sitting there while waiting for me.

He smiled seeing me and stood up while I calmly walked towards him and we both left the hospital still in silence with him peeking at me in intervals.

“Do you have to work in the afternoon?” I asked after unlocking the main door while he stood beside me to see me off before leaving.

“No! There will not be too many customers today and I need not help anyone. Why? Do you need something?” he asked staring at me.

“I slept for just a few hours yesterday night. I want to take a nap in the afternoon.” I replied and he continued to stare at me with a confused look.

“Will you… will you stay beside me?” I asked and his eyes widened hearing those words.

“I am not saying that I am fine with everything but just for today I just… it’s just that…” I stopped talking realizing I don’t even know why I am doing this.

“Forget it!” I said stepping inside while scolding myself for the second time of the day and suddenly felt his hug from behind.

“You need not say anything. How about a movie before that?” he asked and even though I am not facing him right now, I can feel him smiling right now.

“No! I need to read the script.” I mumbled struggling in his hold and he immediately left me but not before pressing lips to my cheek.

I rubbed my cheek and continued to walk towards the stairs ignoring his presence while he followed me in silence.

“Should I prepare lunch, Madam?” I paused hearing that question and turned to stare at my servant standing near the television.

And looking at her expression, I am sure she just saw what happened. I gave her a nod and climbed the stairs without pausing and he followed me chuckling this time.

I am a mess! A huge mess right now! That’s all I can think of from the words I am uttering from yesterday and from my actions along with the thoughts running in my mind.